How do you relate to the most important people in your life? Ask yourself “Do I get what I need from my relationships?” and “Am I investing enough time and effort in my relationships?”
In each of your relationships (family and friends) you are either contributing to it or not. You help or hinder by teaching others how to treat you. If you really want to change your relationships you must first acknowledge that you alone control both your attitude and actions. You can’t have good, strong relationships until you’re willing to know yourself.
Your biggest mistake may be in believing that what others offer is more important than what you can give them.
You are all right just as you are and you don’t need relationships to fill your needs – instead they should be part of your life because of respect and love, not need. Having said that, there is always something that can be changed, even in our long term relationships with family and friends, to make them stronger.
Change Your Attitude – If you only talk about the frustrations of the day, there’s a good chance that the relationship will be just a griping session whenever you are together. Instead start a habit of the first five minutes being free of all complaining. Before saying anything else, talk about something positive.
Reassert Your Rights – For your relationship to work you both need to feel valued, appreciated and respected. If that’s not happening then it’s your responsibility to demand that you are treated with respect. If not than this weak relationship may need to be left behind.
Enjoy Your Time With Them – Make an effort to be “in the moment” when you’re with them. Focus on making direct eye contact when talking. The more focused you are, the more you will enjoy each other’s company.
Tip to Healing – Give of yourself. Share freely with no strings attached, no secret agenda and no unspoken expectations. The more you empty your cup to the needs of others, the more your own cup will fill up.
Feed Your Soul – In life it is important to try new things and meet new people. Start something new, something that takes your focus off your grief. We widows all need to feel alive, and new adventures will feed our souls.
Dare To Play – Widow need to have the courage to be vulnerable with new friends. Being open to what life brings helps us to live our lives doing fun and goofy things. Wholehearted widows play; play as if it was their main purpose, doing things just because they are fun.
I believe that this moment is a gift, with all the opportunities it gives me. This present moment is my chance to do or experience something fun with my relationships – family and friends. Who are your important relationships and are you looking after them with the care and love they deserve?
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®
Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT)
Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
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