Stress – The Invisible Epidemic

Stress – the invisible epidemic that comes hand in hand into our life as a widow.  Widows agree that they feel used up, over loaded and are just plain tired of change and uncertainty. If today’s stress is not enough to create problems, all a widow has to do is consider what their future holds.  A close look at that uncertainty is enough to worry anyone.

Tomorrow promises us even more change, and unless we learn to handle life better, stress – the invisible epidemic will only grow stronger.  We can’t count on family and friends.  We also can’t count on the world to understand the life of a widow.  What we can do is manage our own behavior.

We can’t change being a widow and there’s no easy relief from our stress.  To be effective we need to surrender to our situation.  Widows spend far more emotional energy desperately trying to hang on to old habits, than it would take for them to accept the changes.  Don’t forget that you have a choice moving forward.  Maybe you don’t like the options you have to pick from, but you have a say-so in how you react to change.

You Are Not Helpless

Stress – the invisible epidemic increases fast if you decide that you’re helpless.  Just think of yourself as helpless, and see how much worse you feel.

Any time we become a victim, we actually weaken ourselves.  We end up in a vicious circle, and we’re the only ones that can break ourselves free.

Many widows make the mistake of trying harder instead of trying differently.  Widows need to understand that our rapidly changing world requires actual changes in our behavior.

It’s pretty obvious to widows that the stress of a rapidly changing life is both difficult and exhausting.  What’s not always clear to us is how much more trouble we’re in if we fail to change.  The hard truth is that the stress of becoming a widow is here to stay and it’s not a short term problem.

Widows going through their grief process often end up with a bad case of grief fatigue.  They may waste too much of their emotional energy fighting over things that are blown out of proportion or giving major attention to minor problems.

Maybe grief has taken all your energy and it’s just too stressful to adapt.  But if you think adapting is tough, just think how difficult life will become if you don’t adapt.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT)

Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”



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  1. Kitty Thomas
    | Reply

    signing up for this blog feed has been so helpful for me to realize that I am not crazy or a loser or dumb – I am just a widow trying to cope. Thank you.

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