Your Sexual Self

What a subject, “Your Sexual Self” and all that you wished you could talk openly about.  Wouldn’t it be liberating as a widow to let yourself be free; without being embarrassed, ashamed or anxious?

Your sexual self can be written about in your personal journal.  You can write towards the discovery of your authentic sexual self, a greater clarity about your sexual needs, and yes you have them!

To feel safe and write honestly you must keep your journal private and be confident that it will not be read by others.  Ask someone you trust to destroy all your journals after your death or at least to keep them private from others.

Admitting your most private sexual desires and fears can give you some clarity towards understanding your sexual behaviors and possible future partners.

Ask and answer some of the following questions:

• What parts of my sexuality are mysterious to me?
• What about sex with a new partner distresses me?
• What changes would I like to make in my sexual self?
• What would be your sexual boundaries with a new partner?
• Make three sexual wishes. Be bold!

Describe your ideal sexual relationship.  Sexual fantasies can be a source of pleasure and sexual excitement.  Understanding them is a way to understand yourself.

If there comes a time when your sexual fantasies start to become real and you bring a new man home, please be careful about what you have laying about that belonged to your late husband.  One example is not having his bath robe left hanging on the back of your bathroom door.  It would certainly put a damper on your sexual fantasies to see your new man come out wearing your late husband’s bath robe.  This is where we have to be careful that we don’t confuse love and sex.  One is a feeling, the other is an event.

In the end, it’s your sexual self and only you can explore and decide what that means to you.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®

Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT)

Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”

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