Getting together with family and friends is important for our healing. When I became a widow at the age of 50 I knew that I had to make a life of my own. No one was going to do it for me. If I was to become a person unto myself, I had to lift myself out of my grief.
It’s never too late to take up something new and so I got my motorcycle license – just because I wanted to proof to myself that I could do it. I read a lot and I often had two books going at the same time. I also kept a gratitude journal that I wrote in every night to record what I had to be thankful for that happened that day.
We have a choice.
We can pull down our blinds, stay in and just be. Or we can be grateful for what blessings we still have. You don’t have to move with blind optimism or denial – in fact the opposite is true. We are all keenly aware of what we have lost. Instead, approach every hour with the aim to take from it the best we can.
I don’t always understand this, but for me I’ve found that joy can exist in the midst of tragedy. It really is a miracle, and it can and does start with gratitude. There is tremendous power in talking to others about what is happening in your life. Saying it out loud and getting together takes away some of the stress grief puts on our lives. It also unlocks our ability to find the support and encouragement we need.
The best thing I did was getting together with friends and my Chick’s Night Out group – it was a special place to chill out. I think it’s important to remain open to new experiences and spontaneous events. I love to travel and explore new places, like when I went swimming in the island caves when I took a cruise.
Overall, I’ve found that the more I do, the more I want to do. My activities keep me going so that I didn’t have time to brood about my loss.
What are you doing to make a life of your own?
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®
Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT)
Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
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