Learn To Say No – If you do one thing this month learn to say no to a request for your time/money if you truly don’t want to do it.
As widows we learned from early years to be nurturing and we fear that turning down a request will make us seem selfish. After all, everyone know that we are on our own and have nothing else to do, or so they think!
But most of us over-estimate how much a refusal will disappoint someone. In reality, most people won’t dwell on your refusal, they will just move on to the next person. A widow is grieving and she needs a little empathy from her friends and family.
We don’t always need their blunt honesty about our lives and the decisions we make. Instead we need them to fiercely support our dreams and defend our choices, never being competitive or gossipy.
Empathy is “the ability or the willingness to experience the world from someone else’s point of view.” Their lack of empathy is not unusual in this age where everyone focuses on what they own and their status more than cooperation and values.
We need a little empathy. Someone to say, “That sounds hard” and “It’s okay to say No” when we make a decision that doesn’t benefit them. These simple responses, make us feel cared for and understood, and that is just what a widow needs.
Next time you’re asked to do something, curb that automatic “Yes” response and ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this?” If not, then learn to say no without regrets. It’s liberating to claim your time to do the things you really want to do.
Keep it simple, “It’s not a good time for me right now, and I hope you find someone soon.” You don’t have to make excuses or explain yourself.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
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