Honor your memories. It’s important to honor your past, present and future memories. The memories you make with others speaks volumes about who you are. I used to worry that after I died, strangers would see my beloved items and think that I’d led a boring life. I know that my children don’t want my stuff, my memories are mine, and the kids will have their own.
My collection of objects tells my story – not bitter but contented, and lived to the fullest. My objects and the feelings they bring – bliss, love, contentment and yes sometimes sadness – have become more important to me with each passing year.
Memories are what I have left from the time I had with Donnie and I honor those memories. They helped me to grieve and heal. I’ve learned that honoring my memories brings me peace.
Being nostalgic may actually make us happier and healthier. Fond memories can generate feelings of self-esteem that leaves us more optimistic, inspired and creative. It may also help our loneliness as long as we recognize that our loved one has passed, but we inherited more than just memories, we inherited their story. We can all live our fullest lives when we accept that their absence can coexist with our continuing story.
Left unchecked random memorabilia can be overwhelming. If you are a hoarder the few treasures buried in all your stuff will often get lost or ruined.
The first step is to decide if it is a keepsake or just junk. If you can no longer remember why you kept it, get rid of it. Be selective on what you keep and use the wastebasket generously.
If you decided to keep it, then clean it up and honor your memories. If it has already been damaged, fix it or let it go. Use shadow boxes, curios and glass cases to display your valued items.
Preserving what you care about will free you to honor your memories. Take your time and enjoy the process as you reconnect to your most beloved items.
When it comes to the hundreds of pictures you have, know this, your children will not take the time to go through them, so if you don’t do it then they will eventually be thrown away. Keep your favorite pictures in sorted boxes and/or scan them into your computer under your “My Picture” folder. Then you have the option to have photo books printed at a later date.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
Florence Hupf
Dear Julie,’you must have been reading my mind. This particular column is the answer to my picture problems,
Even after I had ditched all the duplicates, I still have more than a little over a thousand pictures.
I lost my husband 5 yrs ago after 13 yrs of Alzheimer’s. I have barely made a dent in cleaning out and donating. Your other tips have helped, but this one seems to be directed straight to me! In 1981, a flash flood took our home and everything in it!
All the pictures we took from our years of living near the Amazon River and
throughout the Caribbean, as well as the kids on the swing set here in own back yard. Experiences we’ll never have again. I began taking doubles of everything! Then, I began putting negatives in the bank vault. Soon, I grew tired of it. They just built up.
Thank you !
Florence