When Is It Time To Move? As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health or finances may make that impossible.
Moving from the home you shared with your husband to a new place is never easy and a widow may not even be sure if a move is the right thing to do.
You don’t have to be old and sick before you make the decision to move. Many widows move because they want a smaller place with less maintenance. Others move because it will provide a more social environment or make their financial life a little easier.
The last thing you want to deal with is another major change in your life, so don’t take this step until you are ready.
Some signs that you may be ready to move:
• The house is less kept up and maintenance isn’t being done.
• Expenses for heat, taxes and insurance are hard to pay.
• Too many steps make it difficult to get around the house.
• It’s hard to keep the outside walkways shoveled in the winter.
• You don’t have a social life or see many people.
• The house feels empty and too lonely for one person.
• You are thinking more and more about moving to a smaller place.
The older I get the more I’ve learned that possessions only have the meaning that I give them. Instead of possessions, create a home and life through the relationships you have with others.
You can talk this over with friends and family but remember that the decision is not reversible so the time to move has to be when it feels right for you.
We are all going to get older. It’s how we handle the changes that will make all the difference to our healing.
As widows we need to be inspired and reminded of the depths of strength we have. Don’t depend solely on what others tell you to do, no one understands your needs as well as you do.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator
Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
Starlette Burnett
we moved i had my primary doctor write a letter to my landlord stating the seriousness for all our emotional state that it was necessary that we move it has helped a little it still a deep process to function without my husband
Brenda
I totally agree!! I am now a widow 5 years out I thought about moving even put my home up for sale after my husbands death. But the thought of moving after creating our home for so many years was more than overwhelming. My family wants me to be closer to them However, I find my independence a priority. I dreamed about a new town new beginnings. With a positive outlook. Then I thought of the negative. Maybe the new neighborhood is not as safe as mine. I have to learn a new town. New places to go, safe and not so safe. It seemed to me to be more of a stressor. I am fortunate and blessed by the Lord above to be healthy. So I say to all widows out there. Listen to your own gut. If you get stuck, Pray. Don’t make decisions based on what makes others happy. You have one life to live so take that challenge and live with intention
Always, in all ways
Brenda
Kate
Excellent advice. I did not realize that I needed time to process grief and make the right decision after the loss of my husband ( a long term marriage). On the suggestions of my two grown sons who meant well, I moved TOO soon from North to South to be near one of my sons so that I had help when my health declines. It was trauma upon trama and I never knew the rule of taking at least one year to process some grief before making a decision to move. I would still rather be North but I had no family left there and friends has passed or moved so I am learning to adjust to a new and different environment at age 80. Take time to make the right decision.
Margaret Snopkowski
Thank you. Very timely and helpful. God bless you.
Annie
I was going to move just going into year two. Got rid of so much, had a company come out 3 times and donated/tossed so much. Throughout the year I was excited and happy at the prospect of starting over. Towards the end of the year something said, “No.” So I put everything on hold. Now that I am thinking more clearly I realize it would have been too much. Driving over 2300 miles “home” with my older kitty. Moving to an unfamiliar town, trying to find a new home, etc. It would be way too much trauma on top of trauma. So for now I’m staying in the home I’ve been in 24 years. I feel safe and have good neighbors. Feeling safe is what matters to me right now and I’ve got that. Things I cannot fix I have a handyman.
Mary
Great advice from everyone! I feel content / safe in my home right now. I think we have to give ourselves time to think about what we really want and not make major decisions too soon. With it being 9 months since the loss of my husband, my goal this year was to “declutter” which has been keeping me busy. I am also doing a little redecorating to change things up. It’s productive and provides a sense of accomplishment. It wouldn’t make sense to move right now. Maybe I will feel differently in a couple of years.