Clearing Clutter

Clearing clutter isn’t just a benefit to widows – everyone should declutter and honor their space.  Chaos in our lives hampers our ability to focus.  For widows who often suffer from “widow fog” clutter only adds to our stress.

Paper Work – Keep it all in one place and keep it there until you have time to deal with it.  Strive to deal with your paperwork only ONCE.  Purge it once you have dealt with it – example: books and magazines.

Don’t overwhelm yourself – take 10 minutes and put away one pile of stuff or aim to put ten items back to their original place in the house.

If you are not ready to give away your husband’s clothes, then just box them up.  Later, when you are ready go through them make a final decision on what to do with each piece – make a memory piece (lap blanket/pillow), donate, give away to family/friends or junk.

Studies show we are happier in spaces that are neat and don’t overstimulate us.  But, and this is a big but, some widows need abundance to feel comfortable and there is nothing wrong with that as long as they can tell the difference between their “stuff” and their “treasures”.

Widows need to think about why they hold onto their husband’s stuff.  Maybe we are afraid that by letting some of his things go, our memories will go with them.  We fear that he will totally disappear from our lives.  Hanging onto their stuff won’t keep them alive.  It’s our memories that keep him alive as they help heal our broken hearts.

By clearing clutter we make it easier for our families, so they don’t have to deal with it after we are gone.  We will regain our home, so we can decorate it to suit our tastes.  Cleaned up space means we can invite a friend over for coffee on the spur of the moment, it gives us a certain freedom.  If you can’t declutter, have you thought what you are getting out of keeping the clutter?  Is it serving a purpose for you?  Is it a way to be unsociable – an excuse not to invite others over?

Why not try to clear some clutter by picking just one room and one room only.  It’s find to keep everything as long as it’s organized and you know what you have.  Keep focused on that one room and don’t get distracted.  Also, start at one point in the room and don’t take a break until that one area has been boxed as per below.

Label boxes to sort items into:

1. Box for charity
2. Box for new items you can re-gift
3. Box for grown children to go through
4. Box for things to stay in the bedroom
5. Box for things to go in shed/garage

Give yourself permission to box everything up.  Once that room is done, remove all boxes to either the area they belong to, or to car for donation drop off.  This is a good time to get organizers, drawer dividers, under bed storage boxes, new jewelry boxes and the list goes on until every item literally has a home.

Have you reached the point where you are ready, or are you still resistant to clearing clutter?  No one can do this for you and no one should, because only you know what memories go with what items.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator

Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”