Any day we wish, we widows can decide to discipline ourselves to take action. Any day we wish, we can open our mind to new knowledge by reading a good book. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of healing our broken hearts. We can do it immediately, next week, next month or next year – we decide.
We can also choose to do nothing. We can hold back rather than step forward. So, if the idea of having to change yourself makes you feel uncomfortable, you can remain as you are. The choice is yours to make.
When you are going through your grief, it helps to go into a quiet place in nature and just be still. When your brain is going 100 miles a minute you need to relax in the “moment”. You need to love yourself enough to find a way to be in the moment. Smell the fresh air, listen as you go for a walk, do some exercises and be mindful.
“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other is for helping others.” Audrey Hepburn
If you’re facing a loss that seems insurmountable, it’s hard to know how to deal with it. Every widow has her own way of coping, but when you lose a loved one it’s important to find what works best for you.
Personally, I have my own relationship with God and turning to Him works for me. It helps me to stay positive and comforts me. I have also found that helping others also brings me comfort. It doesn’t have to be extravagant – even in a small way, making others happy just makes me happy. I find love and comfort from my sisters as I can talk to them about everything. They are my safe place and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
You lost your loved one and you need to learn to live life again. A life where you can wish and take action is the answer to your broken heart.
Widows who are in search of a new future do not need more answers or more time to think things over. They need the truth and an open mind. They must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how their life can get back in balance. They must make the very choices that will bring life, happiness and joy back into their life. But first they must wish for it, no action comes from indecision.
My last piece of advice for widows seeking and needing to make changes in their lives – if you don’t like how things are, change it! Yes, some things can’t be changed (like the death of your loved one), but there are many, many things that can still be changed.
Any day we wish, we have the ability to change our lives – and it all begins with your own inner power of choice and what you wish for on any specific day.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator, Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
Marie
THANK YOU FOR CARING!
Kim Rasner
This. This is exactly where I am struggling. My husband died 5 years ago and I’ve been frozen in my grief. Two things are holding me back. Fear and the knowledge that nothing I do is going to bring him back. I know what I need to do to rebuild a life for myself. Honestly speaking I just don’t want to. I will overcome my fear and I can choose to make positive changes. I know God is waiting for me to have the courage to continue on.
Cherie
It is so hard knowing there is nothing we can do to bring them back. Yes we want them back. I’ve been having dreams in the last couple of days and in those dreams my husband is alive. I get so happy and then more into the dream I realize he is really dead but I don’t want him to be and I wake up. Going forward is overwhelming at times. It will be 2 yrs in November that I lost him. I’m also grieving losing my mother a week later. Plus my dad, brother, sister in law and grandparents have died. Family members I was close to. I been asking God why.