Excessive Worry

Many widows suffer from excessive worry, but fortunately there are some programs/systems/tips to help them.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy:  with the assistance of a professional, widows identify their specific worries and learn how to replace them with more supportive thoughts.

Whether you work on your own or with a professional, your chances of success are slim if you are not consistent with the program/counselor you select.

Thousands of widow have used cognitive-behavioral techniques to rid themselves of excessive worry.  Don’t give up as you can get better by taking action to recognize and control your troubles.

To help control your worries, you will also have to let go of your physical tensions.  A great technique is called the “calming breath”.  Deep breathing is a good start in letting go of our worries, anxieties and limitations.  We increase our perception because deep breathing leads us deep inside so we feel and think with more consciousness.  Google for more on information.

• Take a long, slow breath through your nose, filling your lower lungs and then upper lungs.
• Hold your breath for count of 5.
• Exhale slowly through pursed lips at count of 8.

As a widow, have you ever thought, ‘I’m probably the only one who has this problem’ or ‘No other widow could possibly be as troubled as me’.  You are not alone, as many widows struggle with excessive worry.

First you have to consciously choose to stop the intrusive thoughts or images.  Reinforce your chose by making positive statements to yourself.  Example: ‘Now is not the time to think about this.  I will do that later’.  Postponing is a great tool to use to shift your attention towards a new activity and away from your worry.

Some supportive statements to make to yourself are:

• Is this worth worrying about or not?
• I’m ready to move forward and this is not within my control.
• This is not my responsibility or my problem.
• This is “not the time” to worry about this, so I will think about it later.
• It’s okay if I made a mistake or was wrong as long as I let go of it.

Decide that the next time you begin to worry, you write the worry down and then apply one of the above supportive statements to it.

If your grief is stressing you out then another method is to try to relax with a jigsaw puzzle.  There is something about spreading the pieces out and putting the box picture in front of you that keeps our minds sharp.  It gives us time to focus on something different than our worries and all the things going on around us that we can’t control.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”