Try Something New

From one widow to another, “Never be afraid to try something new”.  We are tempted to give up because grieving takes all our energy.  Don’t let it!!  As a widow it took me a very long time to give myself permission to fly high and go for what I wanted.

I understand that you are no longer part of a couple, and so you are on your own.  However, don’t let that disconnect you from inventing a new story for yourself.  Don’t be defined by your past or by the impressions and judgements of others.

“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place”.   Eckhart Toole

“The willingness to show up changes us.  It makes us a little braver each time”.   Brene Brown

When grief overwhelms us we have to try something new.  I believe that as long as we’re making progress we will eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Many times we think we are ready to embrace new experiences, but when they show themselves they frighten us.

It’s hard for widows because this new life wasn’t by our choice.  We can’t cling to our old life, old ideas or old mind sets.  We are only going to move forward if we accept what is new without giving up before even trying it.

Some widows refuse to have hope and keep people in their lives that influence them negatively.  I can understand that it takes some courage to go it alone, but doing the “difficult” thing is often just what we need.

Don’t be afraid to try something new.  I know widowhood is all new and that you haven’t travelled this way before.  But if you don’t press through your fear then you have given up.  When faced with a new situation we widows often think of all the reasons why we can’t do it.  But I believe we can do many things if we would just stop over-thinking it.   Instead, think of all the reasons you can do it, focusing on your strengths.

We all hate making mistakes, but that is now we grow.  No matter how hard we try we will never be able to live a life free from mistakes.

Why don’t you want to try new things?  Is it fear of change or are you punishing yourself with feelings of guilt for being happy again?  Guilt does not change us for the good, it traps us in a cycle of negative energy.

You have the right to feel good about yourself and to be happy without feeling guilty.  It’s important that you feel secure in who you are, and one way to get there is to try something new.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”