One of the reasons why it’s hard to get back into socializing and meeting new people is the fear of being asked that dreaded question – “How long have you been married?”
Of course I could have just taken my wedding rings off, but I didn’t want to and so that left me open to questions that made me uncomfortable.
But one evening while out with a group of old and new friends I was asked, “How long have you been married?” My heart quietly began to feel my response – “I’ve been married for twenty seven years”.
You see, Donnie’s death did not reverse the years of our married life. I will always have been married for twenty-seven years and Donnie is part of my inner self that cannot be removed by death.
I did eventually take off my wedding rings and I had them made into two pendants, one for my daughter and one for myself. But that was years after Donnie’s death and not until I was ready.
You can and should be socializing, but only when you are comfortable. It’s your choice whether you wear your wedding rings or not – don’t let others rush you.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator, Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
mary samuels
The third anniversary of my Gary’s death was 12 September. I am still wearing my wedding rings and don’t plan to remove them. I am not on the market, and not looking for another relationship. As my sister said to me “you’re widowed, not divorced.” Says it all. I’m not very social, I have a few close friends and my sisters who all know my situation, and anyone who would ask why I’m still wearing them would get a glare and or a not polite response. Gary was my best friend and we didn’t really socialize with any other couples, save for when he was in the Army and we bowled on Mixed Doubles Leagues or a company event that was “must attend.”