If some time has passed since the death of your loved ones, family and friends have usually resumed their normal lives, while your life will never be the same. Holiday grieving is lonely and hard for widows, but at least friends and families usually make an effort to reach out to us.
I know we widow aren’t in a festive mood but whether we are ready for it or not, the holiday season isn’t going to go away. Here are a few easy tips to help you with the holidays:
Grieve – Practice the lost art of grieving. Create an altar with pictures of those you love; light candles every night for someone you have lost; play sacred music and allow yourself to cry, remember, heal.
Forgive – Forgive all sorts of people this holiday season—those from your past, your work, your family and everyone who has disappointed you.
Help Others – Help others not because you should, but because it is the best antidote to self-pity and holiday sadness.
Stop by a Place of Worship – Drop into a Christian church or Muslim mosque or Jewish synagogue or Hindu template or whatever speaks to you. Sometimes just sitting in a sacred space can help you find some peace.
Be Financially Responsible – Overspending during the holidays will leave you feeling anxious for months afterwards. Instead practice simplicity, creativity and basic human kindness.
Be Realistic – The reality of a widow’s holiday season is too much “holiday” without their loved one. Fighting against the reality of your life at this moment will only make you bluer. Instead, be kind to yourself, seek support and don’t try to be everything for everyone.
Keep a Journal – Write out all your feelings and be open to the great possibilites in life. Holiday grief with all it’s pain, despair, anxiety and fear, can still give us insights of peace and harmony.
Some Social Time – It’s okay not to accept every invitation that you get. However, it’s important to be aware of what is going on with family and friends. Don’t wrap yourself in holiday grieving to the point that you exclude those that love you.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator, Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
Beth Wells
2 christmasses ago my brother has just died, the next my cat died, last 1 my husband has died months prior. I like the lights & cookies, otherwise Bah Humbug It makes me weep