You Matter

My heart relates to your grief and my mind immediately goes back to the cold, lonely and heartbreaking place where you are now.  I remember every detail of that place and I want you to know that you are not alone and that you matter.

You think that you cannot feel like this for one more moment …let alone for the next 20 years or more.  You want the pain to stop and it doesn’t matter who might be left behind or how it might affect them.  You may even think that they’ll be better off to be done with you and your grief.

 

I get that.

I understand that like I never, ever did … or could …“before”.

You may not believe this but I want to tell you.

You matter – Your existence matters.

Repeat often, “I am alive and I will survive.”

 

To not survive means leaving behind an emptiness that will shatter others into a million tiny pieces that can never be put together again.  They have already lost one of the most important people in their lives.  They cannot lose another.  You can’t believe that now because of your grief, but try to believe me.

 

You Matter

No matter how distressed you are.

No matter how much you are grieving each and every day.

 

You Matter

And … this is the most important thing I can tell you …

You will not always feel this way.

I promise.

I hope that you can trust me.  Your days will not always be this dark.

It will not always be this heart-shattering.

 

Don’t turn the grief you feel against yourself.  Find a safe way to release your pain: call a friend, yell, cry, or turn to your faith.  Don’t hid your pain behind a mask of “I’m doing okay”.

Do whatever you can … whatever it takes … to help yourself breathe in life… because you matter.  So just keep going – one breath at a time.

 

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”

 

 

5 Responses

  1. JUDY HOLDER
    | Reply

    You will never know what this “read” meant to me this morning. It gave me hope, it gave me reason and made me
    feel like I do matter. May God Bless you abundantly for helping all us widows with your heartfelt messages.
    Much Appreciation to you and have a wonderful Holiday Season.

  2. Luanne Reilly
    | Reply

    Thank you for these words today! They mean so much to me and provide a reason to continue to have hope to all of us who grieve.

  3. Jennifer
    | Reply

    Thank you for writing and sharing this. I have been SO low and truly wondered what is the point in my continuing on. . . Your words give me hope and have inspired me to one day at a time.

  4. Denise
    | Reply

    First time here. I’m not quite a widow, but my husband is in ICU and cannot recover. It’s been 3 days of watching him sleep. Thank God our 3 daughters are here.

  5. Melanie
    | Reply

    I needed to read this today. Thank you so very much. I have been very sad the last few days.

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