A Widows Experience

What will widows experience after their partners have died and they are left on their own?  In the end there are no words that can comfort a widow.  The best others can do is listen – listen to her anger, her frustration and her pain.

We all know that a widow will never again experience life with her partner and that she will never ever be the same person.  But, after the funeral and flurry of activity the phone stops ringing and there is a deafening silence.  The new widow will be left alone and that’s when she needs to know what is coming so she can be prepared for it.

Loneliness – Probably the overriding emotion when a spouse dies is loneliness. In the first year, you will experience the loneliness of going through all the major holidays, birthdays and anniversaries alone.

Disorientation – The map of your life has changed. Not only do you not know where you are going, you probably don’t want to go anywhere.

Overwhelming sadness – The sadness for many is overwhelming. It is the reason why people can’t sleep, don’t feel like eating, are unmotivated and just feel like withdrawing and crying all day long.

Longing for physical intimacy – Depending on your own needs, you may find yourself longing for intimacy. This may surprise you if it comes soon after your spouse’s death, but it is normal and healthy.

Anxious to get on with your life – You aren’t being disrespectful to your spouse by feeling this way. Use all your spouse gave you emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and mentally to forge new paths.

A widows experience of grief can be soften when they use their positive memories to motivate them towards rediscovering themselves.  This is not an easy thing to do because you have lost your direction and you are grieving.  But one day your grieving will go into healing and that is when you can look at your memories and use them for motivation.  Your life is the most valuable thing on this earth – rediscover it.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”

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