Depression or Grief

Is it Depression or Grief?  It’s not always easy to tell the difference especially after the death of a loved one, but depression is very different in terms of duration and severity.

Sometimes, the bereaved get stuck in the past and find it difficult to see any future in their lives. We all experience pivotal events that change our lives. Not all depressed people have all the listed symptoms and their severity may vary.

Before I go any further, I’m not talking about grief which is a healthy expression of your emotions. Grieving is normal but once we slip from grief into depression, it’s very hard to get back on our feet again.

One of the biggest barriers to seeking professional help is the stigma attached to mental illness. We may feel ashamed that we can’t seem to get out of our depression on our own. Mental illness is still widely misunderstood but don’t let stigma stand in the way of getting help.

The key signs of depression are:

• The grief is present all the time and you never have any joy.
• Depression is severe and it interferes with your daily life.
• You are persistently sad, anxious and numb.
• You have feelings of hopelessness and feel worthless.
• There are frequent crying episodes.
• You have increased agitation and restlessness.
• You have no energy and always very fatigued.
• You have no interest in activities or hobbies that you once enjoyed.
• You can’t concentrate or make any decisions.
• You are either sleeping all the time or not sleeping enough.
• You either have no appetite or are overeating to fill the void.
• Thoughts of dying or suicide are always with you.
• You have more physical aches or pains, headaches or digestive problems.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages that a dying person goes through when they are told that they have a terminal illness.  Those stages were: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

These stages were for “those dying” not for “those grieving”.  They were never meant to be stages following the death of our loved ones.  A griever may experience some or all of these feelings, but it is not helpful to expect these stages to be a part of your personal grief journey.

If you are wondering if its depression or grief then a good place to start is with your doctor, because you already have history with him/her. They may even suggest another professional who can help you.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”