Senior Widow

Are you a senior widow?  You may have been independent in your marriage, but the finality of their death can still overwhelm you.  You can’t listen to the music you both enjoyed together and meals out are just unbearable without them.  At this time you just don’t know what or how to get on with whatever time you have left. You have lived to an age where many friends, neighbors and family members have already died.  Your children, if you have any, are grown up and don’t live at home anymore.

The worst thing may be coming into that dark and empty house that was once a happy home.  You may have come to accept their death, but life just doesn’t hold any appeal and at your age, it’s too much work to change your ways.

Does all this sum up how you feel? 

It’s not uncommon for senior widows to visit the gravesites every day and talk to their loved one about their day as if they were still there.  Eventually you will find other activities for your time, but right now if you feel at peace visiting the gravesite, then don’t let anyone discourage you.

Experts says that it can sometimes take months for a senior widow to understand that their loved one is really gone.  Are you having trouble making decisions?  I agree that you should weigh your options before making a decision, but too much pondering can leave you exhausted.  Don’t get paralyzed by seeking endless advice.  Instead trust your intellect and instinct while you gather information and then make your decision.

You are never too old to enjoy family and friends. Talk about the good times you shared with your loved one.  Reconnect with people from your past and activities that you used to enjoy doing.

Lots of senior widows volunteer a couple of hours at their local church, hospice, hospital, soup kitchen and that’s just a small list of where you can make a difference.  Join a group, you are not the only person going through this and talking to others can help.

Many senior widows let their grieving go on by not facing the issues and working on them.  Like most of life, ignoring it will not make it better. They think that they have to be strong because they are older, but grief has to be acknowledged no matter what age you are.

You should schedule a physical exam to rule out other medical conditions that can have similar symptoms like depression.  You are loved and until your last breathe you can still make a difference in someone else’s life.

Nothing will heal you faster than thinking of others and doing something outside of the house.  My age doesn’t impact how I feel about anything or anyone.  As the years go by I’m more in touch with appreciating what I do have.  Each day gives me another chance to get it right, to forgive, to be kind and most important of all to appreciate God and the mystery of Life.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”