Grow Through Loss

There is nothing like losing your spouse to erase your to-do list. It causes us to rethink about what we thought was our top priority.  Their deaths made us set aside the demands of the world and that helps us grow through loss.

Everyone experiencing grief knows full well that it alters not only the one who grieves but the families surrounding them.  We are confronted with unfinished and scary parts of our lives.

The safe ground that we once stood on has fallen away and it is an earthquake we were not prepared for.  Our identity as wives is gone and illusions of certainty has vanished.

We feel impotent to fix it and often numb the pain with our favorite method of self-medication.  But this will fail us in the long term and than we are forced to face our new life.  I know this sounds odd, but embrace your grief and learn from it.  By doing so you honor your loved one.  Also, by modelling healthy grief you give others permission to openly show their own grief.

We live in an ever-changing world and what is present today will not necessarily be here tomorrow.  Nothing alters this fact and as widows we know this better than most.  The truth is that it takes actions to deal with a broken heart.  The best thing to do instead of trying to “be strong” is to “be emotionally honest.”  Tell the truth about your journey and how you grow through loss.

Here comes the challenge – to grow through loss.  We all hope to come out of this present darkness with a better sense of who we are and to even create another life for ourselves so that we can live and love again.  You’re not dishonoring your loved one by finding a moment or two to laugh at someone’s story or joke.  Think of all the movies that made you laugh, and stock up on them.  Laughter is a welcome release and the best growth therapy out there.  Entertainment helps us find humor so that we cannot only survive, we can thrive.

I know you are out there, doing the best you can.  As I think of you, I thank widows like you and me, because even in times like these I know we are not alone.

To Our Shared Journey,                                                                                      

Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,  Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator,  Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”