Advice Widows Have Found Helpful

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You will be feeling a considerable amount of emotional pain and it’s normal not to want to be around others in the initial months following their death. While we are grieving we are not our usual selves and you may not feel inclined to put your grief on hold to be around others.

Others may react the other way and need or want to be with others all the time. They want to get lost in the crowd and not have to deal with their loss. For them, social situations offer a welcome respite from their grief.

1. Learn all you can about grief. The library has a number of books and videos you will find helpful.

2. Give yourself permission to grieve, to feel the pain and to accept the reality of loss.

3. Be patient with the process. It takes a long time. In many areas of our lives we expect immediate results. Grief is different. Take time and be patient with yourself.

4. Get plenty of rest. Your body needs it while recovering from emotional stress.

5. Treat yourself occasionally – you’re worth it! Things that add beauty to your life will comfort and encourage you. Activities like massage therapy or yoga can work wonders.

6. Find people with whom you can share your loss. Many newly bereaved people find a great deal of support and encouragement from bereavement support groups.

7. Take time to reflect on and reassess your life. What did you gain from their love? How is this experience changing you? The greatest tribute you can pay your loved one is that you experience personal growth from the relationship you had with them.

8. Draw on the resources of your faith. Let whatever helps you make sense out of life sustain you. The journey through grief is a spiritual one. Allow your spirituality to become a focus of your life. Let the words and music of your spirituality speak to you and give you courage and hope for your journey.

2 Responses

  1. Kim
    | Reply

    I recently lost my husband from a rare syndrome. It was such a shock. I’m 63. We just retired a year ago, and now I’m so alone. So intensely sad. He died on Father’s Day. June 17th.

    • Mary Francis
      | Reply

      I’m so very sorry Kim for your loss. It just isn’t fair to lose our loved ones and be faced with our retirement years without them. It’s early day in your grief but you are not alone. All of us widows understand your pain and this site is here to support you along this journey. Please take advantage of all the free resources and links as they offer support, tips and advice to help you. My first three guides are free as downloads so don’t hesitate to get them and the closed Facebook page for “The Sisterhood of Widows – Closed Group” is a great place to have private conversations with other widows. There is also a Forum on the website for widows and a resource page. Again, I’m sorry for your loss. Mary Francis

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