Lost my best friend, confidant, advisor, protector, playmate, lover on October 1 2018. We are both 76. We were best friends from the time we met at 14 yrs old. He had huge health challenges periodically over years. Though I knew it was coming it was a shock when he died. I am a retired nurse. For years I worked and volunteered in Hospice, still the enormity of grief that hit me astonished me. The unbelievable confusion, dizziness, unsteadiness, clumsiness, decrease in vision, memory loss, fear, panic, anxiety, crushing chest and belly pain weight loss, loneliness, hopelessness, inability to function, deal with daily chores and problems was a total surprise. I'm grateful for the input and output for expression.