If the center of your love is in your spouse and he dies, the center is suddenly removed and that is what makes our grieving so painful. We may end up feeling unloved and spend time looking for another love immediately to heal our wound.
Many confuse sex and love, so in the beginning it is wiser to go easy on love relationships. Invest in friendships until you have healed and learned to love yourself first. By wanting to find a new love, you may really be hiding your own need to be loved back.
In order to love again, we need to relearn how to love. Your capacity to love is closely related to your capacity to love yourself, your self-esteem.
Falling in love to overcome loneliness is not actually love. It is rather a feeling of warmth which comes from being intimate with another person. Sometimes we don’t love this person but love instead the idealized image of being in love.
Mature love is loving another person for who he is and not for what they do for you. It’s no-matter-how-you-act love, where you can be yourself because their love is unconditional. It’s simply an acceptance of yourself for who you are, a special and unique person.
To know that you are valuable enough – just because you are who you are – to be loved regardless of how you act, is the greatest of all loves. When you have that love for yourself, than and only than are you ready and able to give that love to someone else.
Rania
What are the signs that you are ready to love
Mary Francis
Check out my blog postings on this issue. New Guide coming out this Fall on – Widows and Dating. Watch for it as it will be available as a download off this site.
rita clements
at this point in my grief, I’ve absolutely no interest in another love. my husband was the true love I had wanted and he loved me no matter what. he was my soul mate and no one else could ever compare to him.