Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it, and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. In the back it has the Serenity Prayer and I believe the monument will share our story with future generations.
I found it healing to design the monument with memories of our life together. I now understand why couples design it together as part of their estate planning.
Three years later and I moved for the second time since Donnie’s death. I finally took that storage tote out from under the bed. After three years it’s still hard to look at all the special items I kept from Donnie. It felt like he had just died and all the memories came rushing back.
I wish he was here but he’s not and so I’m moving again. I can’t seem to settle down and I’m always going from project to project. The other widows keep me going because I know they understand the journey I’m on.
I’ve come a long way since Donnie’s death thanks to my family and friends. I truly believe that healing comes from sharing your life with others. The more you stay in and focus on your pain the harder it will be to grieve and heal.
The trick is to treasure our memories without letting them stop our journey forward. Our memories can move us to live a full life; if for no other reason we should because we are still here and can do it.
Mary
I am in awe of you. It’s been three years and I still have not put up a marker for my beloved. Somehow I cannot get motivated to make it the one last thing I do for him. Wow, I didn’t know that was the reason till I wrote this. I guess nothing can sum up the wonderful man he was.
Blessings and thank you for your posts.
Roxana
Mary, I was happy to read your note…and love what you did with your monument……but feeling embarrassed to admit that my husband has been gone nearly 8 years…..still no gravestone. My problem is indecision. When it’s done, it’s done…literally set in stone. No changing. I have trouble with decisions….big time.
My daughter and I arranged landscape bricks in a circle there for in the meantime.
But what gets me is that he said several times in the two years before he passed, that he’d like for us to get our stone made. I wasn’t thrilled….we weren’t even 60 yet. Maybe he had a premonition. I wish he had said so if he had…..I think. Or maybe best I didn’t know. He went so suddenly one morning at 60. We’d met at 16….practically grew up together.
I guess your note will give me the push to get started on making those decisions. I just miss him so much.