When we keep a secret there is almost always shame involved, either for others or for ourselves. As widows we know that coming clean can be risky. It can expose real vulnerabilities and damage relationships. But it’s a New Year and the perfect time for all of us to take a look at our lives and get some clarity of conscience.
First, let me acknowledge your courage as Widow to Widow. Many widows suffer from grief and so want to be left alone. But that’s dangerous, because grieving can easily go into depression.
You need someone who is trustworthy and who is reliable enough to hold you accountable and not listen to your excuses (and we all have them).
A secret can eat away our confidence and make us fearful of being found out, so you should confide in a therapist, pastor or someone you 100% trust. Don’t sugar coat what’s going on – I know how scary it is to speak your secret out loud, so try writing it down first.
Ultimately you must talk to an expert who can give you proper attention and guidance. It’s time for you, stop living with shame and isolation over a secret that is holding you down. Pick a date right now and reach out to get the help you need.