It's so easy to buy into negative self images.  In fact the world today is quick to try selling us widows products to fix everything that is wrong in our lives.  But there is no quick fix to grief and no magic products to mend our broken hearts. Instead, I urge you to work with the affirmation, "I approve of myself", while looking at yourself in the mirror.  It may be uncomfortable or even scary but you deserve approval, compliments and love, especially from yourself. No one is perfect, we aren't meant to be.  Our lives are a work in progress, changing and growing until the day we die. Your attitude is the key to your life and that is one thing that you have total control over.  Do you walk around in a negative state of mind most of the time?  Or are you always happy?  I think not to both - we usually have our negative and positive moments. The goal here is to accept yourself and have more of the positive moments in your life.  If action is needed, don't sit on the fence.  Instead weigh out the facts, make your choice and act on it immediately.  You gain power by accepting yourself and by believing in yourself, so that you can change what needs to be changed.