Surviving the Holidays
Surviving the Holidays - Just when you think you have a handle on your grief the holiday season starts. All of your memories of past holidays does nothing but expose your broken heart to…
All blog postings by Mary
Below you’ll find a chronological list of posts from Mary’s years of blogging. Every post is kept as close as possible to the original, with light updates for formatting and links.
Archive notice: Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community.
Mary’s book The Sisterhood of Widows: Sixteen True Stories of Grief, Anger and Healing is still available to purchase on Amazon.
Christmas Journal
Capture your holiday memories in a Christmas journal dedicated to just the holiday season. Every year start your Christmas Journal in the middle of November and keep it going till the start…
The Sisterhood of Widows
I have a Facebook private group and also the public group. Unfortunately when you have been doing this for years there are going to be copycats that want to steal other group’s traffic…
Dysfunctional Families
I have a surprise for you – we all have dysfunctional families and holidays can be stressful with them. However, in one way or another if we accept this with a sense of humor we may just…
A Vast Reservoir of Resilience
You may not believe it but you have a vast reservoir of resilience, it just takes a belief in yourself to bring it to the surface. I’m still here even though many days and nights I wasn’t…
To Conquer Indecision
To conquer indecision you need to forget the “should" you think needs to be done to impress or satisfy the needs of others. The best decision comes when you stop worrying about what…
Taking Things Personally
In my life taking things personally has often lead me down the road of assuming, and no good ever comes out of it. We begin to question our worth when we are taking things personally,…
The Helper’s High
The term “helper’s high” describes the sense of fulfillment and happiness we experience when we give back. There’s research that shows that acts of kindness can boost endorphins and reduce…
Widows with Insomnia
I believe we all have times when sleep avoids us, but it is an even more serious problem for widows with insomnia. For widows, getting a good nights sleep becomes more difficult as our…
What is Your "Why"?
Widows all need to know - what is your "why"? How are you building your “Why”? Because if you’re not living according to your "why", you are probably living according to someone else’s…
How You React To Grief
I’ve been writing for years about the fact that how we react to life matters. It doesn’t matter what comes into your life as much as how you react to it. You need to understand that no one…
Grief Journaling
Grief journaling is an important tool, but it’s hard to get started. Start by writing your story; married life, old hurts, goals and relationships. There is power and meaning in your story.…
Walking for Grief Relief
I’ve had my ups and downs while grieving the loss of my husband. What I’ve found over the years is that walking for grief relief has been the easiest method to follow. There is no right or…
A Widows Self-Care
As a widow, can you define what self-care means to you? It’s hard for widows to learn how to say NO unless it’s an “absolute no." Choose to spend time on things that bring you joy and based…
To Be a Friend
Widows are lonely and we often wonder why our friends don’t understand our grief. But, do we know how to be a friend? The issues you are having, may not be all on their end. Grief changes…
Therapist Shopping
It’s okay to do therapist shopping after the death of your loved one. First confront the reason you want to see a therapist, acknowledge that you need some help. Don’t give up if your…
Happiness Isn’t an Accident
When you are grieving happiness seems like a thing from your past that you will never see again. But happiness isn’t an accident that you have no control over, it’s something you decide to…
The Value of Confidence
Widows need to understand the value of confidence because without it they will depend too much on family and friends. Widows who are ready to move forward should never settle for others…
Death Anniversary
Donnie's death anniversary was yesterday and it's been 18 years since he died. I’m a living example of a woman who had to reinvent herself. I’m no longer that married 50 year old, but one…
Help Them Grieve
As a widow, have you ever seen other widows and wondered, ‘How do I help them grieve’? Or have you wished that others would have thought about how they could have helped you grieve? First…
Your Broken Heart
Are You Hurting? Go ahead, acknowledge when you’re hurting. It’s natural, expected and even healthy to feel your grief so that your broken heart will eventually heal. Can I help you? Well,…
Mental Energy Drains
Do you know what your mental energy drains are? On the surface your life seems to be going along okay, and yet your grief is just below the surface. Widows often feel stressed out and…
Negative Thoughts
I have days where negative thoughts keep coming into my mind. Thoughts like, ‘I’ll never lose my extra pounds and I’ll never accomplish my dreams’. We all have negative thoughts but we…
Depression Medicines
Widows tend to notice and remember negative aspects more readily than positive or neutral aspects. They are also more likely to see their life as negative and I get that. This is where…
Death of Your Spouse
The death of your spouse will put you into your own uniquely grief journey. The truth is everyone’s marriage is different. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that your grief will not…
Time to Heal
Even though I’m ahead of many in the grieving process, I still need my time to heal. Many wounds from my husband’s passing are still there, particularly as I am still on my own. I care…
What Are Friends For?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “What are friends for?” I mean really think about why you have friends. Are they good friends, occasional friends, fair weather friends or maybe…
Anticipatory Grief
We spend much of our lives anticipating events that are about to happen. This doesn’t seem to help us with anticipatory grief and our understanding of what is about to happen. What many…
The Gift of Tears
My Donnie died suddenly while sitting at the kitchen table having his morning tea and cigarette. I didn't have the gift of tears and I don’t remember what came next. Did I scream or cry…
A Widow’s Self-Esteem
Do you know what self-esteem is? It’s simply how you rate your worth. The good news is how you rate your self-esteem is within your control and the bad news is, that it is in your control.…
How Healthy Am I
Do you ever wonder, “How Healthy Am I?” Everywhere we look there are advertisements prompting us to get healthier, and yet most of us fail just weeks into our attempts to do so. I think…
Some Personal Advice For Widows
I’m going onto eighteen years without my husband and I have some personal advice for widows that I want to share. Over the years I have become acutely aware that widows sometimes finish…
A Widows Health Journal
A widows health journal is an amazing way for her to acknowledge how her grief has affected her health and well-being. Daily writing can help you identify where your health currently…
Expressing Your Feelings
As you grieve you may hide behind a mask of “I’m okay” and stop expressing your feelings. Or you may feel strongly that you are right and you don’t try to understand their feelings. If you…
Meet New Friends
Do you want to meet new friends? Think before you answer because new friends just don’t happen without some effort on your part. It’s common for widows to be stressed by loneliness when old…
Make Better Decisions
While most widows can look at their lives and with hindsight, see the mistakes they have made. They also can learn to make better decisions as a widow. Please don’t criticize yourself, we…
Thoughtless Things People Say
Although widows sometimes want to be alone, more often they just want to be treated normally. Sadly, society has never been taught how to talk about grief and so we are uncomfortable around…
The First Year of Widowhood
Your life is in pieces – the first year of widowhood urges you to do something, anything to put your life back together. But you can’t piece together the life that is forever gone, so what…
Important Friendships
You have likely already heard how important friendships are when you are grieving. Recent studies show that lonely grievers are more likely to develop high blood pressure, sleep poorly and…
Self-Medicating Widow
The first few months after the death of our spouse we may either hardly eat or eat in excess to find some comfort. From a health perspective we aren’t doing any good to our self-esteem and…
Don’t Share with Bullies
Sadly, most of us have had to stand up to bullies at one time or another. Don’t trust them and always watch your back. Important, Don’t Share with Bullies. We need to have confidence in…
Run Away Widow
Right after our husband’s death we may have a strong urge to get into our car and run away. Are you a run away widow? Running from making all the decisions, from all your fears and…
Widows Often Over-React
Widows often over-react when grieving, then look back on it later and realize it wasn’t a big enough of an issue to justify how they reacted. We have a lot on our plate so tiny tensions…
You Need to Relax
How do you feel when someone says, “You need to relax”? I would bet that it makes you even tenser. The more you try to relax, the opposite happens; you’re not relaxing. Start by noticing…
Honor Our Self-Care
Our culture values thinking with our heads based on our experiences, knowledge and education. But to honor our self-care we have to get in touch with our feelings. Maybe the most sensible…
Living Authentically
For widows it’s all too easy to hide behind the mask of “I’m fine”. But living authentically is about being true to ourselves, expressing our fears, saying “No” to others when it’s needed…
Widows Speak Up
If you have never learned to speak up for yourself, it’s time because silence is not golden. Widows speak up because they have learned that they have to deal with lawyers, bankers and many…
Widows Need Privacy Protection
Widows need privacy protection because they are at risk, especially while online. Do an online search for your name and you may be surprised by what others see. To keep an eye on your…
Truth Therapy for Widows
Life is throwing many changes at us widows, sometimes so rapidly that we often get overwhelmed. We need to practice some truth therapy, to believe that we can heal our broken hearts and be…
Widows Let It Go
We tend to hold on to items that belonged to our late spouses, but there comes a time when widows let it go. You may be clinging to these items because of what they represent. Consider…
Letting Go Of "Perfect"
Widows often have trouble letting go of "perfect" . We need to stop constantly feeling like we need to do everything perfectly. Widows may be held back from even trying because of our fear…
Growing Old Alone
Gone are the days of living to please others, because growing old alone is not for the faint of heart. Whatever your age, I can tell you that it’s always the best time for doing what you…
Journal Tips For Widows
My last blog posting was about starting a "Personal Widow's Journal" and from that I've gotten several requests to do a follow up posting with journal tips for widows. If you have never…
Personal Widow's Journal
A personal widow's journal is used to document her thoughts, images and the world around her. That is why the very first thing I want you to do is get yourself a journal or notebook. Make…
Words Matter To Widows
Watch your words because words matter. Words spoken without thought can hurt grieving widows and cause unnecessary pain. On the other hand, words we speak when grieving can also cause pain…
Grow Through Loss
There is nothing like losing your spouse to erase your to-do list. It causes us to rethink about what we thought was our top priority. Their deaths made us set aside the demands of the…
Spiritual When Grieving
Are you having trouble being spiritual when grieving? Anger at God A crisis of faith in your religious beliefs Difficulty in making sense of their death Searching for understanding of life…
Spiritual Needs
For the purpose of providing you with support and strength, we are going to talk about our spiritual needs as “faith”. Being positive is not possible without faith in something other than…
Taking a Leap Of Faith
Easter long weekend is coming up and so I think its a great time to talk about taking a leap of faith. What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved by others? All…
Senior Widow
Are you a senior widow? You may have been independent in your marriage, but the finality of their death can still overwhelm you. You can’t listen to the music you both enjoyed together and…
Handbook for Grievers
I've written a resource and reference Handbook for Grievers, aimed at helping you to understand your grief and to heal in a healthy way.…
Grieve Less
When Will I Grieve Less and Start Feeling Better? Everyone is different but there are some factors that might contribute to how long it takes: The length of your marriage. The trauma…
Socialize As a Widow
It was hard at first to socialize as a widow. I wondered how long I would feel like this - that the world was empty and there was no hope or joy. Years ago I started a local group for…
Grief Has No Time Limit
Everyone keeps saying that you will feel better in time, but grief isn't measured by how much time has passed. We need to understand that our grief has no time limit or restrictions. Our…
Laughter is the Best Medicine
Laughter is the Best Medicine. A good knee slapping laugh with friends as you go for a walk together, playing with your grandchild or having a new adventure, they will all add years to your…
How To Help
Widows need to tell others how to help them. We shouldn't assume that friends and family know what to say or how to help us. The reality is that their lives go on with little change, while…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
The best kept secret for good sleep is a pill-free treatment called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) which targets the thoughts and behaviors that mess up your sleep. A…
Hurtful Things People Say
Let’s look at some hurtful things that people say with good intentions: He’s in a better place. He isn’t in pain anymore. I know exactly how you feel. You’ll feel better soon. Don’t you…
Workbook for Widows
Workbook for Widows: Restore ~ Rebalance ~ Rejuvenate I want to share with you something I've put together to help you move beyond grief toward true healing, through positive daily steps.…
Widows Making Decisions
Widows making decisions - it doesn't have to be complicated. Life is hard enough when we are grieving. Grief makes it easier for us to postpone making a decision, to not think about all the…
Stress Relief
What are you doing for stress relief? We widows often add to our problems by either hiding behind a mask of "I'm Okay" or trying short term stress relief methods that don't work. A mask is…
Why is Grieving so Difficult
I am often asked, "Why is Grieving so Difficult?" From my own experience my broken heart and my logical brain just could not understand each other. It is perfectly normal and logical to…
Trouble Sleeping
Sleeping is one of the most important sources of recovery in our lives. Even a bit of trouble sleeping can have an impact on strength, moods, energy level and concentration. We need at…
Myths of Bereavement
There has been, and most likely still is, a general belief that once we live through a magical yearly life cycle, we will somehow be much better. While this may be true for some, I can…
A Lonely Valentines
A lonely valentines is one of the greatest challenge faced by survivors. When it comes to accepting and dealing with loss, each day presents its own challenge but Valentine’s Day is…
Depression or Grief
Is it Depression or Grief? It’s not always easy to tell the difference especially after the death of a loved one, but depression is very different in terms of duration and severity.…
Sickness when Grieving
Sickness when grieving - our health is affected in every way when we lose our loved ones. At first the grief affects us mentally as it drains our joy and changes our relationships. It isn’t…
Older Widows Dating
To our grown children - Just because Mom is older doesn't mean that she is unable to make her own decisions when it comes to dating. Widows deserve a second chance at love - if that's what…
Bad Days for Widows
Bad days for widows – we all have them. One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that over time grief becomes more bearable and bad days are…
Make It Your Home
Make it your home, it was shared with your spouse and now you may not feel at home in your own house. Do you dread facing your empty house when you come home? Slowly and carefully you may…
A Widows Experience
What will widows experience after their partners have died and they are left on their own? In the end there are no words that can comfort a widow. The best others can do is listen - listen…
The First Year
What to Expect the First Year - It doesn’t matter if the death is sudden or after a long illness, it is still hard to be emotionally prepared. Take a close look at the emotions listed and…
Facts about Grief
Facts about Grief - "There are days I think I am going crazy!" This comment is often heard from a widow grieving the loss of her loved one. Part of the reason for feeling this way is…
No Longer a Couple Home
It was a couple home, but now it's just your home. It may be hard to get your head around this, but your home only has to please one person and that's you. Look beyond the dated colours and…
Grief Therapist
How Do You Interview a Grief Therapist? You need to feel comfortable sharing with any grief therapist that you’re considering hiring. Think of this process as them being interviewed by you.…
YouTube The Sisterhood of Widows
I have enjoyed doing YouTube The Sisterhood of Widows, but I decided to start 2025 with less commitments to my time. My videos are timeless and the grief a widow goes through never changes…
What Do You Want
What do you want? When we widows are grieving it’s hard to just get out of bed let alone experience life passionately and purposefully. I know that we were created to live deliberately, not…
Journaling As a Widow
If you are serious about healing your broken heart, you need to start journaling as a widow. It's a difficult time and you need to start recording your journey so that next year you can…
Tired of Being Tired
Widows – if you feel that your life is small, you have no future and you're tired of being tired, you need to dream more. Nothing will help you break out of your rut faster than a…
You Matter
My heart relates to your grief and my mind immediately goes back to the cold, lonely and heartbreaking place where you are now. I remember every detail of that place and I want you to know…
Have a Pity Party
Is it okay to have a pity party for yourself? Yes, go for it but make it a brief party and don’t draw it out. Christmas without your loved one will tire you out – mentally, physically,…
Lonely During the Holidays
It has been said that half of us feel left out during the holidays. But for us widows being lonely during the holidays is much more than just “feeling left out”. There is so much hype about…
Not Ready For Christmas
Widows dread the holidays and often put off what they think needs to be done. They then feel that they are not ready for Christmas and as the days pass they get even more stressed. Make it…
Suicide During The Holidays
As a widow I have travelled the ups and downs of grief. I’ve always found the holidays hard and do I dare say even annoying. Suicide during the holidays is a real possibility and something…
Holiday Drama
A lot of us widows have at least one relative who tends to create holiday drama. The best thing to do is make a plan about how you spend your time with them. This will help you gain clarity…
Holiday Stress
With all the hustle and bustle in our lives it’s no wonder holiday stress is so high for widows. Here are some tips to help widows with their holiday stress: Research shows just six minutes…
Widows Holiday Gifting
I know that the holidays are hard and for widows holiday gifting is just another stress they face. But, a heartfelt gift has the power to change, to heal, and to make someone feel cared…
Connect With Others
As widow’s holidays make us want to run away and hide. Often the last thing we want to do is connect with others. If you are going to a get-together where you are going to see someone with…
No Gift Giving Christmas
A Widow’s Question: I just don’t want anything to do with gift giving and celebrating the season. Any advice on how to have a no gift giving Christmas? My Answer: I know you aren’t in a…
Dysfunctional Holidays
I have a surprise for you – we are all dysfunctional in one way or another and if we accept this with a sense of humor we may just survive our dysfunctional holidays with our sanity intact.…
A Widow's True Friends
When our friends make a mistake or say something they shouldn't please don't give up on them. A widow's true friends will always be there for her, even when they don't really understand her…
Imagine being old
Imagine being old and you look back at all the things you thought about doing but never did. How you never took that road trip with a good friend. How you never took a sunny day off work…
Acknowledge Your Loss
It’s important that you acknowledge your loss. Though it’s easier to talk about almost anything than the dead, the dead are what mourners most need to talk about – especially jurying this…
Connect By Facebook
If you aren't already a member of "The Sisterhood of Widows - Private Group for Widows", I invite you to take a moment to connect by Facebook. It’s one group for ALL widows: . Young and not…
Motivated Widow
I have a confession to make, I sometimes find it hard to be a motivated widow. I turned 67 this year and wanted to get better physically. In the past year my back went out and I just got…
Your Estate
Some people mark personal items in their home with masking tape to indicate the name of the person who is to receive it when your estate is settled. But to better ensure that each item is…
Panic Attacks
Panic attacks are the most frightening of all stress symptoms and are experienced by approximately one in ten adults. They can occur after we have lost a loved one and our stress is high. A…
The Possibilities
The possibilities are out there and we need to realize that most problems are never quite as bad as we make them out to be. When a problem arises commit to addressing it at once. Step one…
Accomplished Widow
Are you an accomplished widow? Sometimes we need to stop and acknowledge how far we have come. It does not matter what it is, as long as you give yourself credit for what you have…
Bad Days
Bad days – we all have them. One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that pain, while soul-crushing, is manageable. My bad days are fewer as…
It is Your Future
It is your future and a widow shouldn’t be satisfied with a small future when she is capable of enjoying so much more. Success in your future is about becoming what you want to be. You can…
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness will unleash a power in your life that is under rated mainly because it is under used. Widows fail to capture the power of forgiveness because they have grown comfortable in…
A Sense of Happiness
A widow’s life is anything but happy, as just getting out of bed can be a real trial. A sense of happiness starts with some easy tasks that can be done when you are grieving and have no…
The Best You
Focus on what you still have and build on your strengths to be the best you that you can possibly be. As a widow it’s easy to spend your time longing for the past and that’s all part of…
Socializing
One of the reasons why it's hard to get back into socializing and meeting new people is the fear of being asked that dreaded question - "How long have you been married?" Of course I could…
Loved One Dies
When your loved one dies, to say that your life will change is the greatest of all understatements. Your life will be torn apart; mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.…
Living behind a mask
Living behind a mask – Do you feel that the true you is hidden, even from yourself? Are you hoping to break through the sense of living behind a mask of “I’m okay”? Widows grieve with a…
Life Is Unstable
Life is unstable – today I’m a Grief Counselor, plus so much more, but that is not what I aspired to be. Seventeen years ago I just wanted to put in my work years and retire with that…
Handbook for Grievers
Handbook for Grievers - The next step is not about the grieving as much as the "healing" part of your journey. It's about taking the necessary action steps to not only get rebalanced, but…
Try Something New
From one widow to another, “Never be afraid to try something new”. We are tempted to give up because grieving takes all our energy. Don’t let it!! As a widow it took me a very long time to…
Your Last Wishes
What are your last wishes? Don't assume that everyone will know what you want. Making your last wishes known is a meaningful conversation, but we often keep putting it off. It's dangerous…
Excessive Worry
Many widows suffer from excessive worry, but fortunately there are some programs/systems/tips to help them. Cognitive-behavioral therapy: with the assistance of a professional, widows…
Feelings of Frustration
The feelings of frustration, of not knowing what to do next, having no sense of control and feeling guilty because your still here and yet they are gone – does this all sound familiar to…
Friends Improve Life
It’s no surprise that researchers have found that social activities are a significant part of our overall health. In fact frequent contact with friends and weekly group activities are…
Any Day We Wish
Any day we wish, we widows can decide to discipline ourselves to take action. Any day we wish, we can open our mind to new knowledge by reading a good book. Any day we wish, we can start a…
Successful Grieving
What is successful grieving? For me it’s understanding that grief isn’t about getting over your loss, it’s about learning to live with it. It’s about knowing that we may experience anger,…
Widow Advantage
There is a widow advantage, but it's hard to see the future or any advantage. All change starts with me being honest with myself. Why am I here today? I need too want more out of my life.…
Music Therapy
Music therapy is about giving voice to your deepest feelings. Sing about being afraid, about your grief and loneliness. Let the lyrics of despair and sadness pour out of you. Music therapy…
Questions Widows Ask
There are many questions widows ask and they often struggle to find answers. Please know that as a widow I understand why you are asking and also why you need answers. How do I come to…
Clearing Clutter
Clearing clutter isn’t just a benefit to widows – everyone should declutter and honor their space. Chaos in our lives hampers our ability to focus. For widows who often suffer from “widow…
Is It Time To Move?
When Is It Time To Move? As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health or finances may make that impossible. Moving…
Your Aim In Life
What’s your aim in life? How would you like the story of your life to go? What would you like to be able to say about your life after it’s too late to do anything about it? If you were to…
Friends Drift Away
Why do Friends Drift Away? Unfortunately, about two months after you’ve lost your husband your friends kind of forget about it. They dropped over a lasagna or sent flowers. They may even…
Honor Your Memories
Honor your memories. It’s important to honor your past, present and future memories. The memories you make with others speaks volumes about who you are. I used to worry that after I died,…
The Best Medicine
Laughter is the best medicine. When was the last time you had a knee slapping, crying good time? We humans love to laugh, chuckle, snort and tee-hee. We giggle from our baby cribs to our…
Low Grade Depression
Are you pessimistic, grouchy and bored? Chronic low grade depression can feel so familiar to a widow that they don't even know they have it. But it's rampant among widows and it's under…
Learn To Say No
Learn To Say No - If you do one thing this month learn to say no to a request for your time/money if you truly don’t want to do it. As widows we learned from early years to be nurturing and…
Widows Dream Board
The Dream Board - Often we feel beat down and the widows dream board is one tool to help lift us out of our grief. A way to see light through the darkness and a little bit of hope. The…
Out of Control
Out of Control - When you are running out of control, focus on where you want to go, not where you are currently headed for. Where you put your focus is where you will go; good, bad and…
Negative Self Talk
Negative Self Talk - Instead of negative talk where you say, “I can’t do something” (that takes your power away), say “I don’t do…” and that will help break your negative talk. “I don’t do…
Intense Feelings
Do you tend to experience intense feelings and think you’re going to explode unless you find a safe place to express them? If you’re like most of us widows, you may find your intense…
Widows Find Joy
If you’re curious and bold, you will eventually ask the question: Where is my life headed, and how do widows find joy and purpose? Sounds easy!! No, the truth is, I’m 67 and still trying to…
Getting Together
Getting together with family and friends is important for our healing. When I became a widow at the age of 50 I knew that I had to make a life of my own. No one was going to do it for me.…
A Leap of Faith
Widows taking a leap of faith - What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved of by others? All this is the worst case scenario that we all fear when we take a…
Making Decisions
Making Decisions can be hard because widows undermine themselves from time to time, and that means there is no clear path to what they should do. We hold ourselves back by procrastinating,…
Stress – The Invisible Epidemic
Stress – the invisible epidemic that comes hand in hand into our life as a widow. Widows agree that they feel used up, over loaded and are just plain tired of change and uncertainty. If…
YouTube - Be You
You are a wonderful person, and if you have lost your way, allow me to reintroduce you to yourself. You need to meet the "real" you because you have been lost in widowhood. Grief may have…
Widows Mask
A widows mask is an image that you project so that others believe that is who you are. But it stops others from really knowing how you’re feeling and may even keep you from knowing…
Persistence and Widows
You’ve lost your loved one and life has lost it’s joy but you need to be determined to move forward. Persistence is what it takes to get you through your grief so you can heal. It was…
Keep a Journal
Please keep a journal and write out all your thoughts - the good, the bad and the ugly. Every six months go back and read over your writings. Widows seldom see the halting and painful steps…
Are Widows Invisible?
Are Widows Invisible? Being a widow changes how we think about ourselves and how the world looks at us. It’s been years for me but sometimes I still feel like I’m half here and that if I’m…
Being a Hopeful Widow
Being a hopeful widow is what we all strive for. There is just as much chance that the best will come to you in any situation, as it is that the worst will happen. So why not be hopeful!…
Time to Move?
Is it time to move? Moving from the home you shared with your husband to a new place is never easy and a widow may not even be sure if a move is the right thing to do. I really miss having…
First Few Years As a Widow
In my first few years as a widow I searched out women who were years into widowhood and asked them to revisit that period in their lives. They made themselves available to me and shared…
My Relationships
How do you relate to the most important people in your life? Ask yourself “Do I get what I need from my relationships?” and “Am I investing enough time and effort in my relationships?” In…
What is Your Legacy?
What is your legacy going to be? What an awesome question! I wonder what my late husband, Donnie, would have thought about this question. I think he would have considered his strong work…
Widows Need Support
Widows need support and encouragement. These 7 people are key to your grieving in a healthy way. I talk about this on page 3 of my Relationship Guide, which is Free as a download from my…
Lives Are Forever Changed
We were married but now we are single and our lives are forever changed. People often ask me how I handled being a wife and then a widow. The truth is I didn’t handle it well, but I thought…
Feeling Disconnected From God
I’m feeling disconnected from God because of my grief. What can I do? It’s not unusual for everything in your life to be unbalanced, even your faith, when you lose a loved one. Spiritual…
Things to Tell Family and Friends
Things to tell family and friends. This YouTube video will help you know what to tell your family and friends so that they can be there to support and encourage you. As a widow I used to…
Disconnected From the World
When we lose a loved one we feel disconnected from the world. Our grief often causes us to withdraw from others just when we need them the most. You need to know that being involved in…
Leap of Faith
Take a Leap of Faith - What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved by others? All this is the worst case scenario that we all fear when we take a leap of faith.…
When Will I Feel Better
A widow asked me: I lost my spouse last year and I still feel unbalanced. When will I start to feel better? Everyone is different but there are some factors that might contribute to how…
Rebuilding Your Life
Rebuilding Your Life - Grief becomes part of our lives when we lose a loved one and part of healing is picking up the pieces. Our grief often includes despair, disappointment, hopelessness…
Healing Tools for Widows
Healing Tools for Widows. Widows need all the help they can get to grieve and heal in a healthy way. This YouTube video gives you the "3 letter tool" to help you get re-balanced again.…
Bouts of Insecurity
Bouts of Insecurity - Understand that it happens to the best of us: we are blithely going about our day, feeling just fine, when suddenly, out of the blue something comes along and knocks…
Grief Counselor
How Do I Interview a Grief Counselor? You need to feel comfortable with any Grief Counselor that you’re considering hiring. Ask lots of questions in your search to find someone that fits…
Bitter Widow
It's easy to become a bitter widow as we to listen to other women, who still have their husbands, complain about what their husbands are doing or not doing. We can become bitter because we,…
I Know How You Feel
The reason we should never say “I Know How You Feel” in response to someone else’s reaction to death is because you can never really know how someone else feels. Even if you have had a…
Detached Widow
You’ll know that you’re a detached Widow and out of touch with how you feel when others seem more emotional then you. You may feel disconnected and emotionally unavailable. If you want to…
Valentine's Day
If you are single on Valentine's Day then treat yourself because you are worth it. Below is a link to my YouTube post from my “Dating Guide, page 3 - Relationship Baggage”.…
Life of Passion
I’ve thought of this a lot in the years since I’ve become a widow. What is a life of passion? I think it’s a joyful life but that’s hard to find after the death of a loved one. Everything…
Widow's Capacity
A Widow’s Capacity to Keep Going As widows we need to learn to take satisfaction in the small steps we take towards healing. The most content widows I know take joy where they can find it.…
Relationship Myths
Relationship myths often confuse a widow if she starts dating again. Below is a link to my YouTube video on Relationship Myths that I did in 2023.…
Good Boundaries
A lot happens after our loved one’s death but in the midst of it all we need to understand that setting good boundaries is necessary so that others don't control our dreams. It’s important…
Caregivers
When the need is there, it is natural to do all that is required for a loved one, but later the caregivers underlying health issues may begin to surface. If you have cared for your loved…
Saying Goodbye
Saying good-bye to a dying loved one — what to talk about, when, and how — doesn’t come naturally to most of us. All they ask of us is what people appreciate hearing at any time of life:…
Health of Widows
Before their husbands death the health of widows is often overlooked because they are often caregivers. Even if it was a sudden death, widows have low energy and their grief affects their…
Honor Our Memories
There are many different ways to honor our memories. Planting a memorial tree could involve all family members and become a gathering place or a private area to relax and honor our…
Trust Your Instincts
For lasting joy you have to learn to trust your instincts for a sense of what’s best for you. Your instinct is like a small voice, a sensation beneath the surface that tells you to pay…
Is It Time To Move
Is It Time To Move? As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health may make that impossible. Moving from the home you…
Live Deliberately
When we are grieving it’s hard to just get out of bed let alone experience life passionately and purposefully. I know that we were created to live deliberately, not postponing joy for some…
The Wealthy Barber Returns
I recommend the book “The Wealthy Barber Returns” by David Chilton. It’s all a reach for me, but this book made sense and had me laughing as I read it. I love this quote from the book…
Restore-Rebalance-Rejuvenate Workbook
Years ago I did a downloadable Workbook (164 pages to be done over 42 days). On May 1, 2020 I decided to do my "Restore-Rebalance-Rejuvenate" workbook on YouTube for free over 42 days. You…
Christmas Day 2023
Well, we finally got to Christmas Day 2023 and now we just have to get through today. The holiday season starts so early that by the time we finally get here we widows are tired, lonely and…
Holidays Intensify Grief
Holidays intensify grief and feelings of loss as we are flooded with memories of our husbands. Below are some tips that I hope will help you handle the holiday season. Break with tradition…
Kids at Christmas
I received this message, asking me, "It’s just me and the kids at Christmas and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it without breaking down. I would appreciate any advice you can…
Widows and Lonely Holidays
Widows and lonely holidays are almost a given as we are missing our loved ones. If there is one thing for sure it’s that loneliness only intensifies at this time of the year. Finding…
Holiday Get Togethers
Holiday Get Togethers - In the midst of our holiday get togethers there is a missing loved one. They are not with us in the physical sense, but they are with us in spirit and memories. The…
Widows Need Holiday Kindness
Widows need all the holiday kindness they can get, but what if the best way to get kindness is to give it? There is a saying, “to have a friend, you must first be a friend”. I think that…
Holiday and Special Occasion Guide
My Holiday and Special Occasion Guide was created because it’s hard to get through the special occasions and holidays while grieving the loss of our loved one. This guide will help you to…
Widows Skipping Christmas
Is it “okay to skip Christmas?” Absolutely – There is nothing wrong with skipping Christmas, especially when your grief is fresh. A break can mean turning down invitations to parties or to…
Important Friendships at Christmas
You have likely already heard how important friendships are when you are grieving at Christmas time. Recent studies show that lonely grievers are more likely to develop high blood pressure,…
Widows and Christmas Shopping
Is just the thought of Christmas shopping enough to make you want to stay in bed? I know we aren’t in a festive mood when grieving but whether we are ready for it or not, the season of gift…
Hope for Widows
I like the words “Hope for Widows” because it means that life doesn’t end with the death of our spouse. There is hope for a new future, hope for laughter, hope for joy, hope for peace ……
Season of Giving
The season of giving is upon us and if you’re ready to make a difference, there is no better time to start then today. A heartfelt gift has the power to change a person’s life, to heal and…
Learning to Accept Help
I understand that learning to accept help is hard, even more so when grieving. The death of our loved one feels so unreal and yet we still think we can handle it on our own. We think, “I…
Speak Your Memories
No one understands us widows, and our fear of losing our memories of our loved ones. Please speak your memories because they are beautiful in the retelling. Take an event that happened in…
Learn From These Widows
When other widows seem more learned, have higher morals, and are more capable in dealing with their grief, should we learn from these widows or be envious of them? Learning from widows that…
Lonely Widow
Are you a lonely widow? Most of us are. Our quiet home is a constant reminder that we are on our own. We get this nagging, restless desire to get out and do something, but on the other hand…
What a Mess
I swear, “What a Mess” often came to my mind when I became a widow at the age of fifty. You may waste your time, lose your focus and never seem to get a break, but it’s still a mess that…
Never Give Up
There is always a way so please never give up. Your grief journey will not be easy and it won’t be quick. Your grief journey may be up and down, but if you never give up you will find a…
Learning to Change
Widows have no choice when it comes to life changing, but are they learning to change or are they fighting it out of fear? Be aware of your belief system, and what you take in from those…
Lack of Sleep
Lack of sleep, even in small amounts can have an impact on strength, moods, energy level and concentration. We need about seven to eight hours of sleep a night. Less than four hours or more…
De-Cluttering for Widows
When our husbands died we often felt that things were out of our control and some things are. However, de-cluttering for widows is when we take control over the “things” that are in their…
Unfairness
We have to accept the unfairness of widowhood, but we don’t have to accept a future of unfair treatment. Please understand that how others treat us is directly tied to our own actions and…
Empathy for Widows
Relationships are built on having similar views and life styles. They are about having empathy and tolerance for others. We need others to understand how important empathy for widows is…
Healthy Eating
As a griever you already know that healthy eating and enjoying food can be lost in our grief. Eating alone highlights our loneliness as we try to adjust going from family meals to meals for…
Home Sweet Home
For widows the empty place at the table and loneliness of a bed by themselves means that “Home Sweet Home” just doesn’t hold any meaning. Yet we all know that to lift our spirit we need to…
Focus On What We Want
Freedom is having the ability to ask, “What do I want to do” as opposed to, “What needs to be done”. Instead of solely concentrating on others, we can focus on what we want, on what we find…
Frustrated Widow
Are you a frustrated widow? It becomes so easy to dwell on what you could have done, what others did or did not do, and why you feel so alone. The feelings of frustration, of not knowing…
Victory Over Negatives
It’s hard to have victory over negatives when your grieving, but how you respond to your loss is totally up to you. When negative thoughts about life and people start to take control,…
Grief Depression
Although grief is a natural and normal response to our loss, grief depression does not have to be part of it. I say this all the time – there is no “right” way to grieve. Just because you…
Time for You
Being a widow isn’t for the faint hearted, so you need to take time for you. That doesn’t mean you need a makeup artist, fashion stylist, personal trainer or life coach. You just need to…
Widow Fog
Widow fog comes as no surprise to us widows as we are distracted and have a lot on our plates. We can’t seem to focus and have lost interest in any hobbies that we used to do. Feeling…
Telehealth for Widows
Covid created a growth in "telehealth for widows" who are looking for treatments while staying in the safety of their homes. A wide array of health concerns can be dealt with by a simple…
Be You
You can’t “Be You” if deep inside you are afraid or ashamed of who you are. I’m not talking about embarrassed because of something you’ve done, but about your past. Guilt is a feeling you…
Understand Your Moods
Many widows believe that their bad moods result from factors outside their control. You need to understand your moods, and although they are influenced by external events, but that doesn’t…
One Day at a Time
The best advice I was given as a widow was to take “one day at a time”. What helped me to do that was my journal. As soon as I wrote down my day, I was able to forget it. My journal gave me…
Preserving Memories
It’s important that preserving memories is done as soon as possible because memories can be fragile. You could start an annual tradition that involves stories and pictures. Get family and…
Cope and Adapt
Widows cope and adapt as they grieve. Learning these two actions makes our grief easier to manage. Coping is the ability to change our environment. An example is joining new social groups…
Why Me
“Why me?” could be the first question a widow asks when grief strikes. At a loss to understand what’s happening, we ask, “Why did this happening to me?” and “How can I get better?” When we…
Don’t Settle
Dream big – don’t settle. Don’t follow culture, make your own path. We widows often settle for less then what we are capable of. Take some action steps and you will find that it builds on…
Toxic People
It doesn’t matter if you’re a widow or not, toxic people are everywhere. They are unavoidable and you will cross paths with them sooner or later. It’s just harder for widows because they…
You Are Not Alone
There are broken hearts and wounded widows everywhere, you are not alone in your grief. Some are healing and moving forward, some are still in shock and some are stuck in their grief and…
You Are a Widow
Of course, as a widow we wish our lives had never changed but you are a widow, now what? Life moves forward from our birth to our death, and it doesn’t always follow a smooth, straight…
Choose To Be Happy
Have you been told that you can “choose to be happy”? Let’s settle this upfront, happiness isn’t available just because you want it. If it were possible to simply choose happiness, you and…
Sex - The Forbidden Topic
It doesn’t matter how old we are – sex is the forbidden topic that no one wants to bring it up. Most of us widows are still interested in sex, but are scared of dating and how we will react…
Know Yourself
I know what I need to do, but I do it for a while and then I stop. Little habits build on themselves – they matter and it serves us to get to know ourselves better. Improvement comes from…
From Good to Great
What are you good at? Are you willing to go from good to great? Whatever it is give it more respect. Focus on what you do well and not your failures. When we are thankful for something it…
The Art of Living
Admit that you need to get more balance, joy and love in your life. The art of living is all about creating positive habits and it helps to write in your journal as you go along. Decribe…
Walk Off Stress
No one needs to walk off stress as much as a widow does. If you’re tired of feeling lost and want to take control than please keep reading. I don’t think you’ll be surprised to read that…
How Full Is Your Life
When I ask you, “How Full Is Your Life?” it’s to get you thinking about not only today, but all your tomorrows. What are some ways to fill your life? It can be as simple as a smile, saying…
Normal Life
Too many widows think that after some time has passed everything will settle back down to a normal life. That’s a myth because you are not the same woman you were and you can’t turn back…
Widows Helping Widows
I believe that you can write out goals and try to do a vision statement, but it wouldn’t move you to heal as fast as reaching out and helping others in need. Widows Helping Widows is a…
Identity of A Widow
Years ago I had the honour of spending some time with Stedman Graham. He was so much more than the media’s label of “Oprah’s boyfriend”, just as women who have lost their husbands are so…
Compassion fatigue
Compassion fatigue is the cumulative stress/burnout in the lives of widows who were care givers. While being caregivers to their late husbands they compromised their own well-being. Burnout…
Travel Journal
Summer is here and I want to encourage widows to do a “Travel Journal”. Invest in a beautiful, cozy and inviting journal to record your adventures. A travel journal forces us to be in the…
Finding Joy
For widows finding joy seems like an impossible task. The truth is, the vast majority of widows find it a struggle to move from grieving to healing. They state that it’s too hard, too…
The Power of Focus
The power of focus is a tool to help widows listen to their feelings, to be more self-aware and self- accepting. The “focusing process” can help widows move from a stressed filled life to a…
Celebrate Your Wins
Do you celebrate your wins at the end of the day or do you feel like you haven’t gotten anything done? That may be because grief causes us to focus on things that are broken. Grief shows…
Travelling Widow
I used to think a "travelling widow" meant trips away and deep pockets of money. But a few years after Donnie’s death I was on the road for work and on a whim decided to take a side road to…
8 Tips to Stop Worry
Below are 8 tips to stop worry from overtaking your life. We widows worry; we worry about our future, money, family, friends and everything in between. Unfortunately, getting worked up over…
Bits of Joy
Bits of joy are hard to come by, and not what widows are expecting in their lives. But, there will come a time when bits of joy will break through into the darkness of your life. When was…
Old Resentments
Why do we cling to old resentments? Widows are hurting, we have lost our loved ones and for some anger and bitterness is the only thing we have to hold on to. We are afraid to let go of our…
Unstoppable You
Do you want to be the “unstoppable you” that is there under all your grief and pain? Yes, will then the next question is, “How do you know when a path is the right path for you?” First off,…
Caregiver Hope
Caregiver Hope - It’s not easy caring for a suffering husband and so I want to offer some caregiver hope. Every day, I encounter caregivers who are struggling to keep their heads above…
Widow’s Journal
If you’re serious about healing your broken heart, keep a widow’s journal. When you hear something valuable or inspiring write it down, don’t trust your memory. The best way to organize…
Widows Travelling Single
Widows Travelling Single - It’s been years since my husband’s death and I’ve travelled a lot. As a widow I’ve found that the success of my travels is almost always directly linked to the…
What Do You Want?
What do you want in life? After years of watching my weight go up and down, I think I’ve figured out what the hunger is about. It’s about missing my old life – it’s about walking around…
Is It Time To Move?
Is It Time To Move? - As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health may make that impossible. Moving from the home…
Traumatized Widows
Traumatized widows may feel physically ill or have a flashback at the very sights and smells of a hospital. They may be embarrassed about feeling this way and so make up excuses for not…
Sentimental Belongings
Sentimental belongings and things that bring memories into our lives should be treated with great care and respect—not packed away or treated like clutter. But if there is a lot of physical…
Your Biggest Resource
You are your biggest resource. As a widow you may need financial advice, support and training on how to do things your husband used to do. There are resources everywhere, you just need to…
Unsolicited Advice
Widows don’t need unsolicited advice. Please pass this on to friends and family - don’t tell widows what they should and shouldn’t do. Don’t give her unsolicited advice or make harsh…
Friends and Our Needs
Friends and Our Needs - We have three very important emotional needs: To feel Safe To feel that we are Loved To feel that we are Important https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o_YPSHoefA To get…
Emotional Eater
Are you an emotional eater that struggles when something goes wrong? Sabotage thinking is what makes a widow go for seconds even when they aren’t hungry. Every time you eat when you’re not…
Leaps of Faith
Do You Fear Taking Leaps of Faith? We often expect a clear and perfect moment for a leap of faith, when the sun and moon are in perfect balance. I wish…. The reality is so much more…
Easter and Widows
Easter and Widows - For me this Easter holiday weekend is all about appreciating those happy little things that brighten my day. I’m more likely to encounter these bright moments by…
Being Unforgiving Hurts Us
People say the most stupid and thoughtless things to widows. We need to forgive them not for themselves, but because being unforgiving hurts us more than them. 1. I will no longer dwell on…
Aware of Time
I am more aware of time now that I am a widow. Before the days went by, one after another, without me giving a thought to the fact there is an finite amount of time left. After Donnie died…
Beyond Grief
Beyond Grief Widows are probably one of the most misunderstood groups in the world today. Not everyone grieves the same way because our marriages are different, as are the circumstances of…
What You Want
One way to take care of yourself is by looking at what you want versus what you need. You may ask – What is the difference between the two? Simply put a want is something we hope will make…
Important Friendships
You have likely already heard how important friendships are when you are grieving. Recent studies show that lonely grievers are more likely to develop high blood pressure, sleep poorly and…
Caregiving
Caregiving is emotionally stressful. Caregiving is physically demanding, there’s no doubt about that, but the emotional stress can be even more draining. Whether you’re caring for a loved…
How We Are Doing
People ask us all the time how we are doing and we usually say that we are doing "fine", but I have some questions for you to answer: 1. Do you think of your husband every single day? 2. Do…
Create Peace
Create peace and control our worry by being aware of how you are living and before you know it internal peace will come naturally to you. Peace is a state of mind, and like kindness, it is…
Listened as Widows
I have listened as widows tell me that the "fun" side of them has virtually disappeared. It seems that along their way, while grieving and facing the responsibilities of being single, they…
Widow's Identity
When society changes our "label" from wife to widow, we are forced to figure out our "widow's identity". We are so much more then a "widow" and we should never let that "label" define us.…
The Loneliness Factor
The Loneliness Factor When our spouses were alive, we were more content to sit around on a Saturday night to watch TV and eat leftovers. But now they are gone and loneliness is our new…
Discouraged
Don't Get Discouraged Everyone has been misjudged at one time or another in their lives. After the death of your loved one there will always be people waiting to see your response, to judge…
Forever Changed
When our loved one died our lives and the people in them were forever changed. When we are grieving, our friendships may experience some difficulties, but there is an art to knowing when a…
Dating Guide
We need guideness and support so if you have decided to start dating please consider purchasing my 50 page "Dating Guide - Are You Ready for Dating and Remarriage". If you are single on…
Living Apart
Living Apart Together Are you thinking about dating again? It’s a big decision for most widows so I thought I would let you know about the big trend for our generation called “Living Apart…
Know The Man You're Dating
Do you know the man you're dating? If your still grieving and aren’t emotionally ready to be in an intimate relationship, how are you going to determine if you’re with the right guy? They…
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a necessary part of our grief journey. Without it our broken heart will struggle to heal. Nothing in this world is more stressful then the death of a loved one. At this time…
Audio Book for Widows
Please listen and enjoy Chapter One of the book “The Sisterhood of Widows”– read by a Professional Reader https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V36A5VyBFU…
Good Health
Prescription For Good Health With age and the inevitable loss of friends and relatives, we need to increase our efforts to make new friends. So here is my prescription for good health: "Try…
The Giant Within
As widows we need all the positive energy we can get to help us on our grief journey, so that we can recognize the giant within us. I just finished reading the book “Awaken The Giant…
Freedom to Ask
Freedom to ask is utmost having the ability to ask, “What do I want to do” as opposed to, “What needs to be done”. Instead of solely concentrating on others, we can focus on what we want,…
Questions Not To Ask Yourself
What is really important to you as you move forward? It helps when you stop focusing on the negatives and learn what questions not to ask yourself. The greatest joy lies not in just getting…
Widow Advisors
Widow advisors are important as we grieve and heal. We don’t have our husbands to talk things over with and so we need advisors that we can trust. Do you have enough monthly cash to cover…
Friends Often Don't Understand
Friends often don't understand our grief, so don't take it for granted that they will contact you. Friendships are a two way street and you may have to be the one to reach out first because…
Leap of Faith
Take a Leap of Faith What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved by others? All this is the worst case scenario that we all fear when we take a leap of faith.…
The Person You Are
What were the circumstances that contributed to the person you are today? What do you believe about yourself based on what others have told you? How were you treated? Both the moments when…
What Is Your Future?
As we get ready to end this year and start a new year a good question is, "What Is Your Future?" In the earlier stages of grieving, our energies were directed to the basic things around us…
Workbook for Grievers
On May 1, 2020 I did my "Restore-Rebalance-Rejuvenate" workbook for grievers with my viewers over 42 days. They are still on my YouTube channel and you can follow along with me by watching…
Dysfunctional Families
Dysfunctional Families / Friends and the Holidays I have a surprise for you – we are all dysfunctional in one way or another and if we accept this with a sense of humor we may just survive…
Embrace The Season
I understand how hard it is to embrace the season after we have lost our loved ones. Donnie died in September and that first Christmas was a blur to me. https://youtu.be/w7U8iOTF8VU There…
Skip Christmas
Is it “okay to skip Christmas?” Absolutely – There is nothing wrong with taking a break from the holidays, especially when your grief is fresh. A break can mean turning down invitations to…
Gift of Forgiveness
The gift of forgiveness is for us not them. Holidays are emotionally exhausting when grieving and un-forgiveness can hold us back from healing. What they did was wrong. They don’t deserve…
Holiday Burnout
Widows may face the “holiday burnout” of too full a social calendar, or they may sit home lonely without seeing anyone. Here are a few tips for widows that over schedule because they can’t…
Tame Your Holiday Stress
It’s hard to tame your holiday stress when you are a grieving widow. Everyone has extra stress attributed to the holidays and the abundance of rich foods, but grief magnifies our stress…
Forgive For Yourself
You don’t need to forgive others for their benefit – you need to forgive for yourself. It will free you from the negative energy that “un-forgiveness” costs you. Sometimes forgiveness isn’t…
Be Kind to Yourself
Do you know how to be kind to yourself during the holiday season? Follow this list and check off each item as you do it. Please add to this list and let it inspire you to make the holidays…
Our Social Network
Widows need a strong social network to give us a vital sense of belonging. Our social networks act as a family to support us and to make us feel safe and secure in this crazy world of…
Surviving As a Widow
To “survive” as per the dictionary means “to live after the death of another person: to continue, endure; to come through alive”. I think that surviving as a widow is more than just “coming…
Mindfulness Meditation
Widows often struggle with sleepless nights and this is where “mindfulness meditation” can be the most helpful. It is the simple practice of bringing your attention to the present moments –…
Healing Choice
Every widow grieves her own way and will come to the point where her healing choice is necessary. The types of healing needed will differ depending upon the widow and her circumstances. The…
Confrontation
Confrontation doesn’t have to be about telling someone off or setting them straight. It is really just looking at issues and solving problems by speaking up. Widows have enough drama in…
Prescribed Drugs
As a widow you may be wondering whether or not you would benefit from commonly prescribed drugs for depression. There are many medications that are currently used to treat anxiety, panic…
Social Anxiety
I think we all have “social anxiety” at one time or another, but widows really suffer from this. It’s important to recognize our feelings of social anxiety. Feeling that you’re being…
Our Husband’s Stuff
What to do with our husband’s stuff is conflicting and just plan difficult when we are still grieving. After about four years I finally cleaned out the storage shed at the cottage. There…
Our Inner Voice
The most important voice we need to listen to is “Our Inner Voice”. Each time a widow ignores her inner voice she shrinks inside of herself. The more she denies her voice, the more she…
Documents to Keep Safe
There are documents to keep safe and documents that we need to get rid of. Widows know all about paper work, and now that we are on our own we need to get our documents in order. The pack…
Is Honesty the Right Policy
I have a question for you, “Is Honesty the Right Policy?” Think about the last time someone asked you how you were doing and you replied that you were “okay”. Lies create distance and…
The Plague of Depression
Here you are, grief has led you steadily down the road and straight into what many widows call “the plague of depression.” This is what we consider the most difficult part of grieving. It’s…
Difficult People
Before I can advise you on how to deal with difficult people, we first have to define who they are: Needy Pushy Superficial Passive-aggressive Actively aggressive Critical and judgmental…
Temptation to Quit
When times are hard the temptation to quit is part of our human nature, but widows are stronger than that. Having said that, widows need to watch out for these negative thoughts: This is…
Lost Friendships
Friends often don't understand our grief, so don't take it for granted that they will contact you. Lost friendships are often the case when you become a widow.…
Bereavement
Bereavement is a period of mourning or state of intense grief. You will soon find that family and friends may not understand your unique bereavement journey. Try to find others that are in…
Spirit Of a Widow
I want to inspire “The Spirit of a Widow” in you so you can see yourself as a strong woman who can overcome her fears and trials. I know you can boldly face “widowhood” and can handle…
No Regrets
In the dark, long days of grief, it’s natural to spend time internally focused, looking back over our lives. We should learn from our past, grow from our decisions, have no regrets, and…
A Widow’s Peace
I welcome all the widows who follow me because I know that you are seeking a widow’s peace and with it healing. The objective of all my work is to help you put the pieces of your life…
Believe In Yourself
To believe in yourself is so very important, because without it, healing your broken heart will be an uphill battle. If you don’t truly believe you’re capable of healing, your chances of…
Overwhelmed Widow
When it comes to being an overwhelmed widow, the best way to get back your balance is to quiet yourself down. If you don’t know what to do next – don’t do anything. Get still, take a deep…
Healthy Ways to Grieve
When you are grieving it’s easy to feel that nobody understands what you are going through. It’s important for you to seek healthy ways to grieve, ways that personally work for you. The…
Widows Controlling Stress
I know being on our own is hard and that widows controlling stress is not easy. I knew my diet wasn’t very healthy, but I couldn’t summon much motivation to change in those early days.…
Friendships Go Both Ways
No one is perfect and we are certainly not ourselves when we are grieving. We can be touchy and super sensitive so it’s no surprise that we often forget that friendships go both ways. So…
Stages of Grief
"Stages of Grief" has been under dispute these last few years. To hear more about this please please watch my video from April 19, 2018 on this subject. YouTube link to this video:…
Saving Money and Being Frugal
Most widows have had their household income reduced and so saving money and being frugal has become a necessary part of their grief journey. Here are a few tips to help you: Be a savvy…
Widows Find Joy
I am not going to tell you that you can simply snap out of your grief by looking for ways that widows find joy and that it is that simple. But, I am going to encourage you to start the…
Don’t Be Fearful
I believe that one of the biggest problems in a widow’s life is “fear”. Widows, please don’t be fearful, because if we can handle the death of our loved ones we can handle anything! I…
A Widow’s Journal
A widow’s journal is a private place to express her inner fears, thoughts and feelings. By writing it all out you will come closer to understanding who you are and who you want to be going…
Tips for Mental Health
Grief is not a sickness, but a healthy and normal reaction to losing a loved one. But grief does affect our mental lookout and so we need to ask ourselves – What are some good tips for…
Your Money
Can you afford to live the life you really want? You have to take control because ignorance is not bliss when it comes to your money. If you don’t know what to do or how to do it asking for…
Grief Has No Limits
When our husbands died the question, “What am to do next?” comes to mind. First thing a widow should do is to just let herself grieve, and understand that grief has no limits. There is no…
Paper Work for Widows
I recommend that you get a notebook to write out all the paper work for widows, things that have to be done and people you need to call. Often in the earliest stages of grief we have to…
Two Bad Habits
As widows our energy is already low and so I want to warn you about two bad habits that we often take on after the death of our husbands. The first bad habit is irresponsible television…
Something We Love
Making time to do something we love is a way of honoring and expressing who we are. We all suffer from grief, but some widows are better than others at making time for the things they love…
Start A Journal
If you start a journal it has to be workable for you, in the life you are presently living. If that means doing it first thing in the morning, or last thing in the evening, great!! If it…
Where Is Your Power?
All widows need to ask themselves, “Where Is Your Power?” The quality of your life, your actions and your accomplishments are all determined by your beliefs. How many of us go through life…
Live With Integnity
It's important that as we grieve we continue to live with integnity. As widows we have to be careful that we don't get scammed and taken advantage of. But, on the other side we don't want…
Others Dump On You
Please don’t let others dump on you. Because of our grief, we are vulnerable to what others say and do. Sadly we turn a blind eye to the toxic people in our lives, believing them instead of…
First Year As A Widow
YouTube video called "First Year As A Widow" is where I talk about some of the things you need to watch out for as a widow. You're grieving hard this first year and you will be facing some…
Tough Decisions For Widows
Tough decisions for widows involve a mixture of logic (head) and emotion (heart) and that makes it hard for widows that are already feeling lost. Most widows are not purely rational because…
Widow Support Groups
I believe that “Widow Support Groups” are enormously comforting and helpful if you are talking to other widows who are struggling with the same issues. Some widows are just not interested…
One Must Be Grateful
Widows are grieving, they are often focusing on their past, on what has gone wrong and what they don’t have. To tell a widow, “one must be grateful” seems unkind in the face of their pain.…
Level of Awareness
When you start to heal you will reach a level of awareness where you realize that you are not stuck, and that a healing process has begun within you. You take action and start moving…
Handbook for Grievers
Handbook for Grievers is a reference handbook for grievers that suggests things to do, and supports and encourages you on your grief journey. You don’t need to read it all in one sitting.…
Are You Home?
I mean - are you home, really home and not just a place that provides a roof over your head, and a bed to sleep in? It’s a big and important question, because the answer sets the course for…
Improving Your Sleep
One thing widows often lose with the death of their husbands is their sleep. Improving your sleep needs to be a top priority as you heal. You need at least seven hours of sleep a night to…
Widows and Insurance Companies
Widows and Insurance Companies can go either way. It can go smoothly and widows get the insurance money quickly or there are delays after delays and even a refusal to pay. If a widow is…
Master Your Moods
Yes, you need to grieve and no you should never hide your pain or moods to suit other people. It’s never going to be easy to master your moods, but you need to focus on what you can…
Are You Feeling Guilty?
So the big question is – Are You Feeling Guilty? Wow, we women feel guilty over just about everything! Why do we do it to ourselves? It’s even more common when we become widows as we second…
Widow Brain Fog
One of the most common questions I get is about “widow brain fog” – is it real and how long does it last? Yes, it is real and how long it lasts depends on stress, age and the steps you take…
Keep Family Close
Widows struggle to keep family close after the death of their loved ones. Loneliness is one of the hardest aspects of grief that we have to overcome. Don’t wait for others to keep your…
Are You A Worrier?
We all worry about something, sometimes, but if you are a chronic worrier, you may need some help. It’s time to ask yourself, “Are You a Worrier?” When was the last time you had a day free…
Post-Traumatic Growth
Most of us have heard about the negative “post-traumatic stress”, but “post-traumatic growth” is being studied by Lawrence Calhoun, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina.…
Time Matters For Widows
Time matters for widows – age has given me a sense of clarity and appreciation that I didn’t have in my younger years. Don’t listen to the myth that you can buy this or that product to be…
Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is a common term used to define the time between the diagnosis of a terminally ill condition and that person’s death. It can be a time of reflection, and an opportunity…
Nine Questions Widows Should Ask
How much do you know and understand about you, "the widow"? I feel duty bound to mention that getting to know yourself is one of life's most thrilling and worthwhile endeavors. Here are…
Sympathy Cards
Sympathy cards are like gold for widows. We need to be surrounded by support, encouragement and kindness. The best part of a sympathy card is that it never expires, we can physically hold…
Fear of Rejection
Yes, grief hurts and fear of rejection is part of this emotional journey. We lost part of our identity when we moved from being a wife to being a widow. It’s important that widows remind…
Emotional Crisis
Widows are in a personal, emotional crisis where on the surface they look like they have it all together – yet they are running on empty. They are stretched thin, stressed out and…
Faith
Faith is very important to me, especially during my hard times. That connection with God helps me stay positive no matter what I’m dealing with. Faith, family and friends are important…
A Widow’s Gratitude at Easter
The positive mental attitude of a widow’s gratitude at Easter will draw their minds into a closer relationship with God. I believe that if my gratitude is strong than God will move things I…
Secretly Sad
Widows who are grieving often start wearing a mask of "I'm okay" when they spend time with others. But within their home they are secretly sad, lonely and are hurting. For many widow's…
Find Your Happiness
Grief will rob you of happiness, after all how can you find your happiness when your heart is broken. When you ask yourself about your future and if you will ever be happy again, try to…
Are You in Limbo
After the death of our loved ones we feel weighted down by our grief. Are you in limbo? Widows often feel like they are in limbo and that in itself makes it even harder to move forward. We…
The Endless Tape Syndrome
Are you caught in "the endless tape syndrome” of their illness, death or funeral - over and over and over again? We certainly have no control over the past, but if we aren’t careful we…
Are You a Jealous Widow
I understand if you answer “Yes” to the question; “Are You a Jealous Widow?” As a widow, I still have times where I find it hard to watch other couples. How I miss holding hands and…
To Move or Not
A widow doesn’t have to be old or sick when deciding to move or not. But for many, their declining health may make that decision for them. Many widows move because they want a smaller place…
Audio Book for Widows
Audio Book for Widows - "The Sisterhood of Widows", Chapter One comes directly from the pages of the book for widows which was written from hours of interviews conducted by the author Mary…
Modern Day Grief
How does our modern day grief compare to the many traditional mourning customs of previous generations? In Queen Victoria’s day widows wore black for a year as an outward display of their…
Walking Fights Grief
After I became a widow I noticed that my mood drastically changed and that walking fights grief, even as my broken heart was healing. I still have my days, but walking helps mentally…
Roadmap for Loss
There is no perfect roadmap for loss or perfect journey from your grief to your healing. Everyone’s marriage was different and so will their life as a widow be different. Don’t be surprised…
Forgiveness Means Freedom
Someone has done you wrong and it’s hard to understand how forgiveness means freedom, but it does. It isn’t easy to look back on your life and choose to think of good memories after you…
Frayed Nerves
Do you have frayed nerves from being cooped up by yourself? It’s hard living by ourselves after being married for years. Here are a few things widows have done to help smooth their frayed…
Own Your Emotions
It’s important to own your emotions and not let others trivialize how you are feeling. Claim it by saying – “I respect the importance of what I’m going through”. When others minimize our…
Sleep Better
We widows need to sleep better so that we will have enough energy to grieve. For many widows, clocking a full eight hours of sleep each night is easier said than done. Here are a few tips…
Second Weddings
Like many widows, second weddings are often about the merging of two families. Those that say their wedding vows more than once, know a few things about “life till death” vows. They know by…
Valentine Loneliness
Valentine loneliness is one of the greatest challenge faced by survivors. When it comes to accepting and dealing with loss, each day presents its own challenge but Valentine’s Day is…
Online Dating Widows
To be honest a lot of online dating widows consider online dating because it seems so easy when dating is a click away. Let’s face it, we just aren’t going to be seeing a lot of dating…
Week 6 Summary - Workbook
Week 6 Summary – Workbook “Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate” Week 6: Creating Your Future and Following Your Passion Thankfulness Your Life Story Are You Appreciated? Action and Priority…
Winter Proof Your Life
Being a widow during the cold winter months requires learning how to winter proof your life. Stock up on bottled water and if you can’t find them on the shelves then get bags of cubed ice…
Week 5 Summary - Workbook
Week 5 Summary – Workbook “Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate” Week 5: Overcoming Fear What is Your Attitude as You Overcome Your Fears? Denial and Limiting Beliefs Self-Care What Do I Need to…
The Funeral Is Over
Even though the funeral is over and death touches us all, everyone has their own view of death. Children see death as a loss, while older seniors are tired and may see death as a gain – to…
Week 4 Summary - Workbook
Week 4 Summary – Workbook “Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate” Week 4: Goal Setting Refining Goals – Making Them SMART Goals Getting Unstuck Most Important Tasks & Making Decisions Action Steps…
Allowing Love In
Widows have a hard time allowing love in after they have lost their first love. When it comes to love, keeping your guard up in a new relationship is guaranteed to block any growth. Widows…
Week 3 Summary - Workbook
Week 3 Summary – Workbook “Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate” Week 3: Relationships Moving Forward Relationships – Anger and Time Out Detox Your Toxic Relationships Are You a “People Pleaser”?…
Widows Need to Live
Widows need to live, to start appreciating the things which help them stay balanced and keep them from being crushed under the weight of their grief. One of the great truths of life is that…
Week 2 Summary - Workbook
Week 2 Summary - Workbook "Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate" Week 2: Health: Mental – Physical – Spiritual Do You Really Want to Change? Are You a Glass “Half Empty” or “Half Full” Person?…
Widows Matter
Widows matter so I’m asking you, “What are you doing for yourself today?” I hope that you are doing something that you love and rarely do, something that will rejuvenate your soul. There is…
Week 1 Summary - Workbook
Week 1 Summary - Workbook "Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate" Week 1: Your Past and Present State Analyze where you are today. Let go of the past. Feedback Exercise. Where are you today? Do it…
Intro to Workbook
YouTube video - Intro to Workbook "Restore-Rebalance-Rejuvenate" https://youtu.be/4bB50tG1BPA I will be sharing my workbook's weekly SUMMARY videos on Mondays, over the next two months. You…
Maximize Your Decisions
To maximize your decisions widows have to ask themselves, “what now?” Life has asked each widow the same question, but we have chosen to answer totally different from each other, and that’s…
Holiday Guide
Holiday Guide - page 28. Forget about what’s possible and what’s impossible. Let your mind drift as you think about all the possibilities. Here are a few worldly gifts to get you thinking:…
Lonely During the Holidays
Widows are lonely during the holidays and we often feel left out and disconnected. There’s so much hype about happiness during the holidays that it’s natural to feel the loneliness. We…
Christmas Greetings 2021
Mary's personal Christmas greetings to all the widows seeking support and encouragement. Mary talks about her own journey and about what helped her to get through the holidays when her…
Kids This Christmas
Question: It’s just me and the kids this Christmas and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it without breaking down. I would appreciate any advice you can give me. Going it alone can…
A Widows Christmas
A Widows Christmas - This is a video I did for my YouTube channel about the Christmas Holidays and how it's hard to be sociable when grieving. https://youtu.be/CKY-vuPn0Us
Gift Giving
Gift giving is the last thing on your mind when grieving, but your children and grandchildren will expect Christmas gift giving to continue, as it has in the past. Our energy is low when…
Social Events
Social Events are hard to go to when we are grieving. It’s a domino effect, having an active social life means lots of people care about your well-being, which in turn makes you more likely…
Hope for Widows
There is always hope for widows, but it is often buried in our grief. I know that the death of my husband was definitely one of my defining moments. In a blink of an eye my entire life…
Time for Yourself
Is it hard to find time for yourself? For some widows they have way too much time for themselves, but for others the holidays mean doing the work of two, but all on your own. For those…
Face The Holidays
"I can't face the holidays!" is something I begin to hear from bereaved people as the holiday season approaches. During the coming weeks the music and decorations will be a painful reminder…
Procrastinating Widows
Putting things off is something that happens often to us procrastinating widows. Most of us find being totally responsible for our future terrifying. Our fears become so exaggerated that we…
Living Life Fully
I often ask myself if I’m “Living Life Fully”. I am great at working on projects, being committed to the end. Playing, however requires planning so I’ve recently started asking myself, “Am…
Believe In Yourself
Do you believe in yourself? Healing starts there because every day is a new start of thoughts, dreams and hope. To neglect today, as a widow, is to delay your healing in the future. There…
Memories
I lost Donnie but the one thing that I will never lose is my memories. Having said that, I still feel as if a bit of Donnie disappeared every time I gave something of his away. I’ve learned…
Winter Blues-SAD
Having the winter blues is hard enough without being a grieving widow. We widows rely on the sun’s bright rays to help keep our spirits up. That’s why when Fall and Winter arrive, with…
Outsmart Scammers
Grief creates a fertile ground for scammers and we need to learn how to outsmart scammers. The most common scam is emails and phone calls from scammers impersonating banks or governments,…
Stress and Hair Loss
Stress and Hair Loss. No widow finds it surprising to hear about stress and hair loss. Grief and stress go hand in hand and they speed up the production of DHT, a hormone that damages hair…
Looking After Our Money
As widows we have learned quite painfully just now important looking after our money is. I wish I could say that every widow is left financially set, but the truth is a lot of widows are…
Use Affirmations Wisely
Widows that learn how to use affirmations wisely speak only of the good they want in their lives. I understand how hard it is to speak positively about life when you are on your own. I…
From Wife to Widow
No one can possibility understand the transition from wife to widow unless they have travelled that path themselves. When our husband died we started living in this time of change,…
Darkest Before the Dawn
“It always seems darkest before the dawn.” We’ve all heard that saying a thousand times, but it can be very true for widows. The middle of the night can be the hardest hours when we are…
The Healing Process
The healing process is not the smooth progress that many people assume it will be. It’s more like a lightning bolt, full of ups and down, one step forward and two steps back. If you…
What Motivates Me
It's important that widows ask themselves, "What Motivates Me?" - "How do I go after things I want?" and "I'm I active or passive in life?" If you're not motivated out of your true heart it…
Will I Ever Get Over It?
We widows ask “will I ever get over it?” but the thing is – who wants to get over it? There’s nothing I can say that’s going to help you understand this journey. Not one thing, other than…
The Gift of Time
It’s not until the death of a loved one that we stop and think about how we are spending the gift of time we have been given. When our husbands died the question, “What am to do next?”…
Silence Our Inner Doubts
One of our biggest challenges is learning to silence our inner doubts. Widows are under a lot of pressure and can easily fall into the “I’m never going to be happy again” trap. I know…
Strong Emotions
Widows have strong emotions (like anger, fear, hopelessness) when their spouses die. Sadly we often feel hopeless and our mental, physical and spiritual health are at risk. Even more…
Grief Is Messy
Grief is messy and doesn’t fit into a nice and tidy time frame. There is no way around it – we cry, we are angry and we don’t always want to socialize because we are quite simply unhappy.…
Retail Therapy
Widows shop because it makes them feel good and retail therapy makes no demands of them. If there is no one at home to tell us that we are loved, there’s always our favorite store to…
Aimlessly Settling
Why do widows wander, aimlessly settling for a life of just existing rather than a full life? There are many reasons, but the basic and fundamental reason is the absence of feeling loved or…
Panic Attacks
Widows are under a lot of stress and panic attacks can be frequent when grieving. A panic attacks causes a widow’s heart to pound, makes her dizzy, sweating and shaking to the point of…
Sex with No Commitment
I found it hard to be a widow at fifty and sex with no commitment just wasn’t for me. I had a healthy sex drive and certainly missed that part of married life. There is something almost…
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s easy as a widow to get caught up in a cycle of stress and forget to be kind to yourself. The more we worry, the smaller our options and possibilities seem. We get caught up in…
Take Back Your Life
I work with widows teaching workshops like “Take Back Your Life” and the Grief Recovery Method. A couple of times I’ve had widows come repeatedly to see me. I finally had to tell them that…
Learning to Relax
It's no secret that widows are stressed, lacking sleep and totally unbalanced. Learning to relax is the best thing we can do for ourselves. It's a skill like learning to ride a bike and you…
Widows Protect Your Privacy
Widows Protect Your Privacy. Are you prepared for people asking you private questions after your husbands death? For some reason others think they have the right to know your business.…
Is It Time To Play?
A few years after Donnie's death I realized that I wasn't having fun. As a widow, grief had overtaken my life and it was hard to ask, "Is it time to play?" When Donnie died I was only 50…
A Healthy Aging Widow
Age has given me what I've looked for my entire life - self confidence to be "me". I am a healthy aging widow (50 when my husband died and now 64). The experiences, failures and triumphs…
Broken Relationships
When our loved ones die our lives and the people in them are forever changed and broken relationships happen. When we are grieving, our friendships may experience some difficulties. There…
Widow Confusion/Fog
Some of us have "widow confusion/fog" where we seem to be constantly lost. We go one way, than another - we try one thing and then shift to something else. Our problem is simple: We are…
7 Key People
Widows need support and encouragement. These 7 key people will help you get what you need. We all have people in our lives that come and go, but there are others that are here for the long…
Do You Have True Friends?
Widows are hurting and they need true friends that care about them. Do you have true friends that you can depend on? Here are a few questions to help you rate your friendships: Do they call…
Power of Mindfulness
Widows need all the help they can get when grieving - so take some time to explore the power of mindfulness. Taking some time to release our tension and stress is an act of self-compassion.…
Financial Check Up
As widows we are unbalanced in our grief and if not careful we will be making money decisions that we will regret. We need a financial check up so we can move forward with the knowledge we…
Are You Feeling Down
Are you feeling down? Widows that are thankful and appreciative have the key to living a happier life. Since “like attracts like”, this is a great way to attract more situations and…
Letting Anger Go
When grieving we may hold unto anger about what someone did or didn't do. Letting anger go is important to not only our healthy healing, but also to our grieving. We need to learn how to…
Anxiety and Widowhood
If you are a widow then you understand that anxiety and widowhood go hand in hand while grieving. Keep a journal, and list your worries and things you can do to help. A proactive approach…
A Widows Life Choices
Never underestimate the impact a widows life choices will have on your future. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scrx6fBGlh8 When I became a widow I made some very bad life choices because I…
Fitness Tips for Widows
Widows are missing out on a boatload of both mental and physical benefits from mood lifting to disease protection. Fitness Tips for Widows is here to help you make yourself a priority. No…
Pet Therapy
No one understands mental health and how unstable it can make us widows, better than those that are also grieving. Pet therapy is one of the most effective ways to help our mental health.…
Choose to Heal Your Broken Heart
At one time or another every widow needs to heal. In every instance of grief, you choose to heal your broken heart or risk being stuck. We have gotten pretty good at physically healing, but…
Writing a Sympathy Note
Nothing heals quite like writing a sympathy note, for both the writer and for the receiver. Writing a sympathy note (not an email or Facebook comment) is important because the grieving…
Talking About Death
Talking about death makes others uncomfortable and most of society doesn't know what to say or do when there is a death of a family member or friend. Below is a video from my YouTube…
Understanding Your Grief
When your husband died, grief took over: emotionally, physically and spiritually. Your thoughts and feelings related to their death is what molds your mourning. Understanding your grief is…
Live Like a Child
Learning to live like a child is easy, just be curious like a child and keep at it until you have it figured out. Learn to get excited like a child. Oh, the magic of a child’s excitement.…
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
A high percentage of widows experience trauma that leads to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While many widows turn to medications to help with their grief and sleep disturbances, I…
Caregivers Stress
Have you taken care of your ill husband for a long period of time? Perhaps he is still alive, but you know he isn’t going to get better and so caregivers stress has become part of your…
How to Feel at Peace
Although everyone goes through stress in life, finding peace while grieving is definitely personal to each widow. How to "feel at peace" isn’t easy, but it is a necessary part of our…
How Are You Doing?
How Are You Doing – Really Doing? People ask us all the time how we are doing and we usually say that we are doing "fine", but I have some questions for you to answer: Do you think of your…
What Is Your Personal Philosophy?
Widow have their own ideas about their grief and healing, and that causes them to reach conclusions on how to handle it. So, what is your personal philosophy? These conclusions determine…
Life is Hard and Not Always Fair
I don’t need to tell you that life doesn’t always work the way we’d like it to. The fact is life is hard and not always fair. I learned that the hard way when Donnie died suddenly at the…
A Widow's Life
It’s hard to talk about positive change to widows. I understand, life sure turned out differently than I thought it would when I got married. But believe it or not – change is part of a…
The Quiet Cure
It’s impossible to stop the grief, but creating a quiet sanctuary can go a long way towards increasing feelings of peace and reducing stress – the quiet cure. Silence is the basis of…
Widows Cooking For One
Have you found widows cooking for one to be near impossible, wasting food, time and money? It helps to plan ahead so you can get more mileage out of your meals. After all, if you cook two…
BE in the Moment
Wherever you are in your journey, BE in the Moment. If a widow cannot learn to be happy again, then she will never fully appreciate any blessings that come her way. We widows often give up…
8 Tips for Modern Day Grieving
Everyone has a different marriage than us, and everyone will apply these 8 Tips for Modern Day Grieving in their own way. There is no right way or path for all grievers to take. 1. Wear or…
Covid-19 Isolation
Life changed for us the moment we lost our spouse, but Covid-19 Isolation has made it all very, very difficult to deal with on our own. No visits, no hugs, no human connection and all this…
Your Attitude Is A Choice
I know you are grieving and you are also thinking, ‘How can I have a good attitude when my world is falling apart’, but the fact still remains that your attitude is a choice. When I was…
Is Change Good or Bad?
Widows often look at change as an obstacle, but is change good or bad? It is one of those things we widows seem conditioned to repel. Change is often met with skepticism, anger and a lack…
Widow During a Covid Lockdown
The world is getting a taste of how a widow feels like after her husband’s death. Being a widow during a Covid lockdown is surcharging the loneliness and feelings of being disconnected from…
Attitude of Gratitude Journal
The best advise I can give you is to keep an "attitude of gratitude journal". It keeps us widows focused on all the abundance that is currently in our lives. Evidence is powerful. The more…
Don’t Ask These 3 Questions
I know it’s hard to be a widow, but I want you to stop worrying about things that are just not worth your energy. Please don’t ask these 3 questions because they focus on the negative and…
Healing Connections
I hope that you gave grief all the time it needed so that this will be the beginning of healing connections and a new revised future for you. I am pulling for you, from one widow to another…
Surviving Widowhood
I’m a widow and I understand that you may feel like your life is over, that the tears will never end, that your heart will never feel again, and that surviving widowhood would take a…
Anger
Anger is a universal emotion, but for many widows it is still an misunderstood emotion. We are socialized to believe that nice girls don’t get angry, so issues never get resolved because…
My Life Didn't End
Everyone gave me the same advice “You need to get more balance in your life and learn to rest more, have more fun.” I had just become a widow and my life didn’t end when Donnie died, but I…
Difficult Family Members
Widows often ask me for advice on how to get along with difficult family members. It helps to acknowledge that we love our families even though they may get under our skin. Also, the…
Coping With Panic Attacks
For grieving widows a very frightening outcome of stress is coping with panic attacks, sometimes called an anxiety attack. It is called an attack because it comes on strongly and without…
A Good Cry Can Heal
A good cry can heal when you are a grieving widow. When Donnie died I cried. I would cry over everything and nothing. I remember driving down the road and all of a sudden I felt this heavy…
Tips for Joyful Energy
I know you are thinking that there is nothing “joyful” about your life as a widow, but here are some simple tips for joyful energy that you can do even while grieving. Become a list keeper.…
Best Zoom Groups For Widows
The internet is a great way to connect with other widows, but it is also an unsafe place where widows are often targeted for donations, memberships and product sales. While searching for…
Dating For A Few Months
If your still grieving and aren’t emotionally ready to be in an intimate relationship, how are you going to determine if you’re with the right guy? If you have been dating for a few months…
Widows In Love With Love
Watch out for the fantasy of “being in love” where you don’t give much thought to whether he is really right for you. Widows in love with love often get hurt. In the video Mary talks about…
No Quick Fix When Grieving
We widows are urged to look for the quick fix rather than to look inside ourselves. We end up seeing only our limitations, instead of our possibilities. The truth is there is no quick fix…
It's OK For Widows To Date
It's ok for widows to date. Something we may have to say to our children – “Just because Mom is older and a widow doesn't mean that she is unable to make her own decisions when it comes to…
Widows Made by Covid-19
It is the cruelest of all things for a widow to lose a loved one and not to be with them at the end because of covid-19 and/or to not be able to have a funeral or receive the much needed…
Widows Facing Their Feelings
Widows facing their feelings allows them to concentrate on reality rather than fear and helps them choose the right action steps. How do you understand and control your feelings? The best…
Widows Making Their Home Cozy
You are a new widow and your home is no longer for a couple - it is now sadly a home for just you. Please take the time to make it your home, in your style. If you can make it yours, make…
Do You Want Their Attention?
As a widow, do you want their attention? Your loved one has died. For some the support quickly leaves, but for others they get constant questions about how they are doing or what their…
There Are No Shortcuts for Widows
Most widows search, adjust and search some more for the right balance … until one day, it finally appears out of the fog of their grief. Sadly there are no shortcuts for widows that are…
How Does a Widow Balance Her Life?
If a widow wants to have balance in her life she needs to focus not just on her physical state, but also her mental state. This means that a widow needs to have a sense of belonging,…
Life Is Worthwhile for Widows
The main purpose of this post is to motivate and support widows. The challenges of grief when death happens in our families is common to most widows. These grieving challenges are not…
YouTube Workbook for Widows
Rebalance ~ Restore ~ Rejuvenate Workbook for Widows free on YouTube As a widow you need to let yourself grieve, it is a necessary part of your healing. When you are ready to move forward…
A Widow's Christmas Memories
The closer I get to Christmas Day, I find myself thinking about all the people I’ve lost over the years. In their memory, I decorate with the ornaments and beautiful gifts from my past. I…
How Will You Survive The Holidays and Covid-19?
Christmas 2020 is definitely going to be different from any other that we’ve experienced. But, the truth is for us widows, Christmas is different with or without Covid-19. We don’t have our…
Holiday Questions for Widows
Holiday Questions for Widows What are your true feelings about the holidays as a widow? What is one of your favorite holiday memories from childhood? What was your favorite thing to do with…
Can a Widow Be Generous Without Going Broke?
Widows are not usually in the Christmas mood, and so sometimes they try to get in the spirit by over shopping for their loved ones. But be careful because when depressed, it’s easy to seek…
Widows Heal By Forgiving
The holidays were designed to remind us that love for each other is the most valuable of all gifts. However, I know many widows who have suffered at the hands of others and unfortunately…
Surviving the Holiday Season – 2020
Let’s start this right away by acknowledging just how awful the holidays are for those of us who have lost a loved one. Part of the problem is just how ignorant our friends, family and…
American Thanksgiving 2020
For new widows all holidays are difficult, but finding things to be thankful for, especially in 2020, is a stretch. You’re grieving, don’t try to be something you’re not. Let grief have…
Don't Let Loneliness Hold You Back
Do you feel like you could die from your broken heart? Studies have shown that loneliness and social isolation can trigger heart disease, stress on your body and mind. The researchers…
Friends for Life?
Widows need their friends now more than ever. Does your best friend know all your secrets? Can you not talk for months, and then talk as if not even one day has passed? Is she the one that…
Is Food A Widows Addiction Of Choice?
Some widows struggle with feelings of grief that are uncomfortable, and so turn to food to numb and block them out. Addiction of any kind is a sign that a widow is divided from her truth.…
What Is A Successful Widow?
As a widow, can you answer that question? Can you define what success means to you, personally? Each of us can have real success in our talents, time, resources and relationships by…
Do Widows Watch Too Much Television?
I think that in today’s society widows are so lonely, so separated from other people who are important to them, that they look to television to fill that loneliness void. To stay mentally…
Questions Widows Should Ask Their Doctor
With all that we widows have on our plates, we sometimes let our health go, especially if we had been care givers. But widows that are on their own and have no one to share their worries…
How Does A Widows Life Unfold?
I have a fondness for telling other widow’s stories, extracting nuggets of truth to inform, inspire or benefit another widow. After Donnie’s death I was uncertain about what to say or how…
The Beautiful Widow
Okay, maybe to some people I am not beautiful, but I’ve discovered I can choose not to be an invisible widow. How can I do this, you ask? I’ve got something no one can take away from me. It…
A Widow’s Tough Week
Being a widow is hard, but do you have those especially tough weeks where for some reason everything goes bad? Maybe your job has been overwhelming, with lots of work and no one to help…
Widows Ask - What Now?
The question before me, now that I am a widow, is now to live well. I’ve found to be fully alive I have to focus on what I have to offer the world. Nothing shows being alive more than a…
You Have Options
Are you stuck, unable to take the right steps to make your dreams a reality? If you feel blocked, it isn’t because you don’t have the options to chart an exciting, meaningful journey. The…
Life Comparisons By Widows
I know, life falls short after our husband’s death. We’ve all felt it, that pang of envy when you see couples out together. Feelings of sadness after “liking” all of our friend’s couple…
A Widow’s Life History
What were the circumstances that contributed to the person you are today? What do you believe about yourself based on what others have told you? How were you treated? Both the moments when…
Can A Widow Forgive Herself?
Widows can be hard on themselves. I mean we all make mistakes, life isn’t perfect and never will be. You may think that your late husband, family and friends would never forgive you if they…
Online Course for Widows
Rebalance ~ Restore ~ Rejuvenate: Workbook (PDF Download) This very affordable164 page workbook is designed to guide you into a future you’ve created instead of a future that just happens.…
A Widow's Reality Check In
Okay, so shock and denial have come and gone (for the most part), but now you realize that all the future dreams of retirement, travel and enjoying grandchildren together, have vanished…
Accept Yourself As A Widow
It's so easy to buy into negative self images. In fact the world today is quick to try selling us widows products to fix everything that is wrong in our lives. But there is no quick fix to…
Who’s on Your Gratitude List?
On the road of life, we encounter plenty of speed bumps, including the loss of our loved ones. That is why over the years we need to pay even more attention to who we should be thankful…
Sound Therapy for Grief Relief
There are a lot of things out there for pain relief – physically and mentally. Widows benefit from being open minded and exploring different therapies for grief relief. Do your own research…
Sleep On Your Problems
Widows have problems – big and little problems that have to be dealt with. Many of the solutions come to us out of nowhere, when we are thinking of something else and even when we are…
What’s a Widow’s Future Look Life?
It’s hard to see your future when you are a widow. In theory it should be full of possibilities, but the emptiness you feel won’t go away. Go with an open mind and try different things out.…
8 Questions Every Widow Should Ask
How well do you know the deepest parts of “you”? As a widow, getting to know yourself is one of life’s most thrilling and worthwhile endeavors and the only true path to a whole hearted…
The Anger Stage
Your feelings as a widow are very real, and it is important to be able to express them in a real way. This is not the time to tell yourself that because you are a lady, or a certain age, or…
Be Gentle With Yourself
If you dwell on all the good things you have to be grateful for, you open yourself to more positive energy. Find a quiet spot to sit and reflex, making sure to write down your thoughts.…
How Do I Mend My Broken Heart?
Widows often ask themselves, "How do I mend my broken heart?" I know, it seems impossible, but you can make it through your grief. Widows are not passive observers of their life – they are…
Widows and Regrets
Big decisions make me nervous. No problem when buying clothes or ordering lunch, but moving, buying a new car or making financial decisions are another matter, and some part of me always…
Grief Transformed My Health
When I was fifty, I joined a legion of widows, all of us declaring our grief and honoring our memories. With my grief came the understanding and appreciation of my most important asset, my…
Widows Grieve In Their Own Way
Sometimes we widows are sad right away, but sometimes it takes a while for it all to sink in. If there are children at home, you may feel like you have to be strong for the rest of the…
This Is Your Life As A Widow
If you don't already have a journal, it would be a good idea to get one. A life worth living is worth recording. It can be a simple notebook, a place to record your thoughts, observations,…
Widows Are Just Not Themselves
There were many times during my grief where I said things I didn’t mean, many instances where I did things I would never have done under normal circumstances. I believe that when your heart…
A Widow’s Survival Checklist
As a widow you need to find someone “safe” to talk to. You are vulnerable and need to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No one will care for your well-being as…
Radical Acceptance
When you are young and things don’t turn out, you can always tell yourself “maybe next year”. That’s the beauty of being young – there are lots of second chances. But as time passes, how do…
Murphy's Law
Murphy’s Law states “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong”. This negative way of thinking may cause us widows to expect the worst life has to offer. Unfortunately when we expect a bad…
Can Widows Find Happiness?
Being happy starts with believing that, as a widow, you deserve to be happy again. If you believe that you deserve happiness, you can start creating happiness for yourself. When you look at…
Widows Can Overcome Their Fears
As widows, to build our self-esteem we need to overcome our fears. Every time we overcome a new challenge it gives us even more confidence and if there is anything we need more of its…
Be Like A Child
Grief robs us of our joy, our interest in life and our future as we knew it. To get this back we need to be like a child. Be curious like a child. They ask a million questions. They want to…
The Principle of Optimism
For widows nothing may be as important then the “Principle of Optimism”, which teaches us to dwell on happiness rather than on despair. As always, I teach that first we widows need to…
For Widows - It Is What It Is
My Mom died a few years before my husband. How I wish she could have been there for me. Whenever life took a bad turn Mom would say “It is what it is”. In her way she was telling me that I…
Are You Carrying A Grudge?
We widows have enough on our plate without carrying a grudge. Carrying a grudge is exhausting, unhealthy, and totally bad for our health. I used to be great at holding grudges. But just as…
YouTube Video - From Workbook Week 6, Day 38
YouTube Video for Restore, Rebalance, Rejuvenate Workbook. We can't count on others to make us happy. It is up to us widows to seek out support and learn what is in our control and what…
What Stresses Widows?
Widows can get stressed out by the smallest of things. I’ve noticed, in my own life, that obsessing over what stresses me can cause even more stress. I know that sounds odd, but it’s true.…
Signs of Dangerous Grief Stress
No doubt about it, we widows are stressed and that is normal, but we may be under more stress than we can handle. Things to watch out for: 1. Being irritable with things you normally…
You're A Thief - Covid 19
I am writing this for everyone that has lost a loved one to the virus Covid-19. Some blame the workplace, or point their fingers at those that didn't follow the guidelines, others the…
Are You Simply "Getting By"?
As widows we have had the joy of living knocked out of us. Most of us settle for simply “getting by” as we grieve. We just let life happen to us instead of intentionally moving forward. The…
Self-Isolating Widows
We live in a stressful time, more than ever we are anxious about our world. In this environment, we may be tempted to believe that the only way to find true peace is to escape. One way of…
YouTube Video to Support Corona-Virus Widows
[kad_youtube url="https://youtu.be/G0cW_sb2MwM"]
How To Be Calm When Grieving
YouTube Video for Widows by Mary Francis Please understand that when grieving our emotions are super sensitive and things can bother us that would have never upset us before. [kad_youtube…
Forgiveness Is Hard
I admit it - widows are emotional. We are extra sensitive to comments made and to visits not made. Over time the weight of hurts done to us become too great to carry and starts to hold us…
What's Life All About?
The older we get the more we tend to rely on some version of spirituality. Over half of all seniors aged 75 and over say that their spiritual beliefs help them to understand life's…
A Widows Simple Faith
As a widow, I've often been lonely, sad, depressed and even angry at God. I read somewhere that God didn't prevent pain, but stood and supported you as you went through it. I've also read…
Widows Still Can Celebrate Life
A widow's world could be so much more than just the grief. I trust in a Higher Power greater than myself, because I could never have imagined my life as it is today. If left to myself my…
Home Maintenance
In one instant, years of married life became only memories. I could stand the loneliness, I thought. And I can. I can stand anything. I didn't know that before, but I do now. You can, too -…
Survivors Guilt
With a sudden death, relationships may be frozen in time with unanswered thoughts of "what if " and "if only". Survivors guilt often has no basis in logic but can be a powerful emotional…
How Do You See Yourself?
As a widow you may not be saying nice things to yourself. Try looking at yourself in a full length mirror. Slowly take in your appearance from top to bottom - now compliment yourself. Look…
Is Your Grief Out Of Control?
To be alive in this world, means that at some point you will be touched by grief. Death affects everyone and no one can anticipate the emotional and spiritual agony, even if you think…
Spring Cleaning
It may be time to revaluate everything in the house while spring cleaning. Find out what, if anything, your children want and give it to them or save it for them. For the rest, sell or give…
Do Widows Have Enough Fun?
This seems like an odd question for a widow to ask herself, but fun is necessary to heal her broken heart. Fun feeds our soul and you must have it. But by forcing it you may miss the whole…
Is Therapy Risky For Widows?
It's not surprising how little widows know about therapy. Some seem to assume that it's for widows that are totally unbalanced. Others have bravely gone for help, had a terrible experience,…
12 Questions Every Widow Should Ask
How much do you know and understand about you, "the widow"? I feel duty bound to mention that getting to know yourself is one of life's most thrilling and worthwhile endeavors. Spend some…
Widows Could Live A Long Time
We all hope to be healthy into old age, and then die peacefully in our sleep. But, I wouldn't count on such a quick and easy exit from this life. As widows we should be cultivating our…
The Empty Nest
Widows may have started out their journey with children still at home. Then the kids grow up and out, but we never stop being a mother. You may think that the best way to cope with an empty…
Widowed? Dating Tips For Widows
As a widow it's hard to watch married couples and know that they have what you don't. For those who have lost a spouse and are thinking of dating again, my "Dating Guide For Widows" is…
Widows and Busy Work
After Donnie died I struggled to find my way. There are periods in the life of a widow when you go through growing phases, and in order to do that, you need to be able to fail. You have to…
Companionship for Widows
It's a fact, women are outliving men and therefore the women of today are spending a good portion of their lives as widows. Stats show that fewer than one in ten widows marry again. Well…
Can Men and Women Be Friends Only?
I mean can they hang out together - without sex?? I think they can, but a "man" friendship is different because men think of friends in a different way then women do. Widows think of…
Widowed Means Being Single
Stop thinking, "What if?" You may feel a great sadness, anger or self-doubt as a single woman, but each day is still a gift and it's up to you to create your own joy. Learn the difference…
How To Make New Friends
As widows we often lose our couple friends and so we need to make some new friends. The secret to new friendships, lies in our ability to get their point of view and see things from that…
Giving Away Our Husband's Stuff
YouTube Video for Widows by Mary Francis - Getting Rid of Stuff It's time to clean up all the stuff we have around that is cluttering up our space. For widows it's even harder because we…
Shame
For widows, shame drives our fear that we are not good enough. Shame isolates us, separating us from others and from our shared humanity. Shame is a profoundly debilitating emotion. No one…
Learning To Speak Up For Yourself
Frequently, problems begin when a widow believes that others should just know what she wants. Often others don't know what you want because you have not told them. Widows often hope that…
Cognitive Therapy for Widows
Cognitive therapy for widows is just a fancy way of saying "change your thinking". Widows need to take their time and grieve. So don't even consider this until you are ready to start…
Identify Your Payoffs
No one continues to do something that will only give them negative, unwanted results. If you continue to behave in a certain way, or make a certain set of choices, you do so because at some…
What Is My Inner Voice?
I've come to understand that my inner, widow voice, is trustworthy. I just needed to quiet myself down so I could hear it. I've sometimes responded to that inner voice by ignoring it or…
Is It Time To Change?
It's hard for a widow to create even more change in her life when it's already been totally upset by her husband's death. But, when you heal, you can change by getting rid of some old…
A Widow's New Year
It's a mistake to think that a New Year is an automatic fresh start and that your grief will just lessen by magic. Grief has to have its time, it needs to be spoken of, seen and felt so…
A Widow's Christmas Day
I don't know if you're spending today with your family, close friends, neighbours or just having a quiet day by yourself. But what I do know is that without a doubt you are missing your…
Holiday Depression When Grieving
For widows the holidays are no longer a joyful time with family, bright lights, presents and they certainly are not in the mood to celebrate. It seems that the more festive the season, the…
YouTube Video about Christmas As a Widow
The holidays are hard and it doesn't matter how many years have gone by without our loved ones. As a widow the holidays highlight just how lonely we are and we need to acknowledge our…
The Power of Christmas Music
We have listened to Christmas music our whole life and nearly every culture has its own musical traditions to celebrate their holidays. Music brings us together in song and dance, rituals…
Widows Don't Have To Follow Traditions
Widows know more than anyone that things have changed. Yes, they have changed and some traditions are no longer possible or even wanted without our loved ones. Don't feel guilty if you want…
First Christmas As a Widow
After the death of your husband, no one holiday is more difficult to endure than your first Christmas. Part of the reason is that Christmas is not just one day, it's a "season" - from…
Holidays Making You a Broke Widow?
Unfortunately when you became a widow, your finances may have taken a big hit. Now Christmas is coming and after years of happy Christmas giving, you're stressed with worry about how to…
How Well Are You Taking Care of Yourself?
How well are you taking care of yourself now that you are a widow? It's easy to deceive ourselves in this area, so let's look a little closer at our lives. Make a list of where the…
The Dreaded Holiday Season
The holiday season is a time for family and social gatherings. But for many widow it's looked forward with sad anticipation, sometimes even dread. How can we celebrate Peace On Earth, when…
The Mel Robbins Show on "Cat Fished"
Widows are targeted online by scammers because we are often lonely and lost - it is called "cat fished". I follow Mel Robbins and her "5 second rule" and was watching her show, episode # 45…
Surviving Thanksgiving As a Widow
My role isn't to tell you how to grieve over the holidays or "get over" your loss faster, but to remind you that grief is normal and natural, and you're doing it just fine. That's right,…
Are You Meeting Your Needs As a Widow?
In everything we do, we are either meeting our needs or we are not. Learning to make the choices that will effectively meet our needs is a key to the pursuit of happiness and that is saying…
Are You a Bold Widow?
To me, as a widow, being bold means taking on a new future that speaks to who I am and the person who I want others to see. As we know, life is too short not to go after what we want. When…
New York Times Article About Grief and Cooking
July 8, 2019 Mary Francis, I'm a food reporter at the New York Times, and I'm working on a story about grief and cooking. I've spoken to many bereavement counselors who have told me about…
Should A Sick Widow Move?
This is one of the toughest decisions a sick widow may be forced to make. Your decision should be timely, other wise you may wait until you no longer have the capacity to choose for…
Widows Need To Be a Bit Selfish
As widows we need to take time for ourselves and not be lead by what other people think we should do. This is one of my videos introducing you to my YouTube channel. [kad_youtube…
The Sisterhood of Widows
It's very important to me that the blogs I write are filled with great content and support. I’m committed to making “The Sisterhood of Widows” resource website a success so that their…
Setbacks of Life
Widowhood has to be the biggest of all setbacks in life. Everything in life flows out and in, everything has its rise and fall, the measure of the swing to the right and then to the left,…
Even As a Widow - I Am Enough
It may sound unreal that a widow could have joyful energy, but we widows aren't meant to be grieving forever. In time our broken hearts heal and if we want we can find the joyful energy…
A Widow and Her Money
As a widow you need to be very careful about who is helping you with your finances. Not everyone is qualified to give advise about money. Also, no one will ever care about your money as…
Learn How to Die - Learn How to Live
It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it can also be the positive if you are mature enough to understand that you’re going to die, and that causes you to live a better life…
Death Ends a Life, Not a Relationship
I hope you can find the healing power in grieving. If you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you will never get to heal because you’re…
Widows Cherish Their Friends
One of the biggest challenges we widows face is loneliness. It's easy for me to tell you to join groups and learn new things, but what if you are naturally an introvert? The easiest thing…
Creative Coping
How do you calm down, gain perspective and get the best of each day? What helps widows is as different as the widows themselves. Staying open to every resource you find is good, because…
A Widow's Resolve To Heal
First a widow needs to promise herself that she will never give up. To say "I will do...." and "nothing will stop me." Be like a child that never stops trying to walk until they are able to…
Being A Widow Is Not For The Fainthearted
It may be hard to believe, but you will survive this journey. It's important in the healing process to believe that you will heal. Tell yourself often, "I am alive and I will survive".…
Widows Can Do Remarkable Things
Sometimes when our lives are turned upside down, we're led to search for answers. First let me state that we widows can do incredible things, unbelievable things, despite the most…
You Create Your Future
I've personally learned that a widow has to create a new future for herself. I know what it's like to have your future all planned out and for it to be ripped away from you. The major key…
How Do Widows Stay Calm
Life is very emotional for widows and we need to be calm when things are out of control, but how do we do that when everything we know is forever changed? First you need to question what…
Widows Can Still Celebrate Life
The most important part of your day is the morning, because your day flows with what you focus on at the start of your day. Take 30 minutes each morning to sit quietly and reflect on how…
Rediscover Joy
As widows, I think we often deprive ourselves of things that can bring us joy, either because we don’t have time, we are working hard or we just don’t feel like we deserve it. It’s easy to…
Brain Fog That Widows Get
Tired of forgetting things? Some call it "widow brain fog" because widows are truly in a fog when grieving. I remember driving pass my road on the way home and we had lived there for most…
Success -What Does It Mean To You?
Widows need something to focus on something beside their grief, to heal their broken hearts. Success doesn't have to be big, lots of money or fame. Success can just be doing something that…
Does Their Opinion Count?
It always surprises me how hard supposedly well-intended friends and family will work to insert themselves, uninvited into every detail of a widows life. They should find some other way to…
Can Widows Really Listen
We communicate with others on a daily basis, so why does it feel like we widows aren't connecting with them? As a widow, when you need to address something unsetting, do you find it best to…
Being A Widow Isn't Easy
Those early days of widowhood I'd just as soon forget, but all the pain and loss has shaped who I am today and is why I'm here to be part of your own journey. I provide valuable…
Feel The Pain Of Your Grief
As a widow you need to tell the truth about your emotions and you have to allow yourself to feel your grief. No matter how painful it may be, the first and best way to grieve is to allow…
If You Have No Peace
If you have no peace, nothing is right and life is unsettled. Watch the animals, when nothing works for them, they curl up or stretch out and just surrender to the moment. Most widows, on…
Let Your Dreams Lead You
Widows forget to dream, they lose their sense of joy when their loved one is gone. What you have to learn is that you deserve all the good things in life! Your dreams deserve another try.…
Unpleasant People In Your Life
Widows don't have the energy it takes to deal with unpleasant people and their thoughtless comments. Here are some strategies to help you lessen the impact that their behavior has on your…
What Do You Choose?
Widows can do less, have less, read and grow less. Be less disciplined and lead less of a life or widows can become all that they can be. Read everything, earn more, give and share as much…
A Widow's Emotional Energy
Widows need to protect themselves from people and things that drain their emotional energy. While grieving we have precious little energy and cannot afford to lose anymore. 1. The first…
Understanding Others
As a widow you may be thinking that you can persuade others to behave differently. But to have any hope at all, you have to see things through their eyes - putting yourself in their…
A Widow's Faith
Some widows find peace of mind from a belief in a higher power. When you believe in something more powerful then life and act in accordance with that belief, you tend to feel less helpless…
Perfect Widow is Not Possible
Widows like me run into trouble when they try to go all the way being perfectionists. You have to learn to reduce your anxiety about being perfect when grieving. Giving up that delusional…
Do Widows Need a Lift?
[responsivevoice_button voice="US English Female" buttontext="Listen to Post"] It’s hard when you are grieving to feel uplifted. All we want to do is hide our heads under the pillow and be…
Are People Rushing Your Grief?
Every widow needs time to grieve, and your broken heart will heal. I know that's easier said than done, but you are the one that controls this crazy journey. Don't curl up into a fetal…
Dating the First Year of Widowhood
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb8HkoGHWJ8"] What do you think about dating within the first year of being a widow? This is a complicated topic and even widows have…
Kicking The Worry Habit
It's not easy when your grieving to kick the worry habit, but it's worth it. First, let's define what "worry" is - it is fear, a lack of facts and a waste of mental energy. Next, what can…
For Widows - Is There a Right or Wrong Way To Grieve
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlUoPi1Y4ss"] There are always going to be people out there expressing their opinion about what a widow should or should not be doing. The…
Friendships That Don't Work
For widows to fix what isn't working, they must first acknowledge their part in the problem. It should come as no surprise to learn that you are responsible for the way you treat people,…
Grief Etiquette for Today's Widow
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JABGpusIlZQ&t=1s"] In another time widows had to wear black for a year and not be seen having fun. Thank goodness times have changed, but…
Are You a Widow Because of Suicide
Widowed by suicide - your heart and brain are in conflict and they are pulling you apart. Your heart wants to grieve for the loss of your husband, the loss of having someone to love and…
In Pursuit of Happiness
A Widow's basic needs are fairly simple: Love – belonging, friendships, involvement Power – being in control, recognition, skill Fun – Laughter, play, enjoyment, hobbies Freedom – having a…
What Not to Say to Widows
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HREVxA0M3Q&t=44s"] As a widow, I've had people say hurtful things after Donnie died. It took me years to realize that they just didn't…
Taking Inventory of Your Life
The decisions we widows make every single day are what builds the foundation of our future. Some are small decisions - should I walk today or set and watch T.V.? Some are life decisions…
Widows and Their Wedding Rings
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y35DyAEcDI&t=7s"] Many widows wear their wedding rings till the day they die and others take them off the first year. The key here is that…
You Have Choices
You are unique and being a widow just makes you even more unique, so that in everything you do, you are either meeting your needs or you are not. Whether you realize it or not, every moment…
Grief Journaling
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS9wIqJUYSg&t=29s"] I can't stress this enough - keeping a journal is a great tool to write out all your emotions. It's hard to find your…
Is It Your Home?
I mean really “home” not just a place that provides a beautiful roof over your head, and a comfortable bed to sleep in. It’s a big and important question. The answer sets the course for…
For Widows, Grief Has No Time Limit
Everyone keeps saying that you will feel better in time, but grief isn't measured by how much time has passed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17LYfYTI3Vw
What Are You Most Proud Of?
I know it’s hard to find your place in this world after you’ve lost a loved one. Grief makes us unbalanced and unsure of ourselves. You need to embrace “You”, with all the attitudes,…
5 Stages of Grief in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross book
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVV_4S37iRw&t=33s"] Mary talks about the 5 Stages of Grief in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross book "On Death and Dying" and how these stages were…
Are You Trying To Fix Yourself?
What if you stopped trying to fix yourself and just let your deepest self emerge? Decide what you want to change, than draw a time line to get it done. Break down the process into steps…
Do You Postpone Making Decisions
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqSHD0DSGko&t=1s"] Widows often feel overwhelmed and postpone making decisions.
Widows Often Get Stuck
Maybe you were an assertive woman, but widowhood has stopped you in your tracks. You now have to weigh the price of being stuck and decide whether it's worth it. Going through life…
Grieving Hard The First Year
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCbpY49E7GA"] Today I want to talk about some of the things you need to watch out for as a widow. You're grieving hard this first year and…
Do You Really Want to Make Resolutions?
Whose big idea was it to fix up all our widow problems, mend our hearts and start fresh in January? And who invented New Year's resolutions any how? It's no wonder that most New Year's…
New Year As a Widow
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf3HsMW5ssw"] New Year Eve is really hard when your grieving and a widow. Everything about the holidays is hard and then at the end you are…
Resolutions Can Be Small and Fun
New Year resolutions for widows don't have to be big, they can be small and simple so you can have fun going after them. A goal doesn't have to sound painful. Why can't it be the year of…
Merry Christmas 2018
For those of Christian faith, today please step back from all the unrealistic movies and marketing, and remember what Christmas is - it is a day to honor the birth of Jesus. I know it's a…
Surviving the Holidays While Grieving
Holidays can be particularly hard after the death of a loved one so I'm glad you're reading this article. I hope it provides grief insight and encouragement so you can be better prepared…
Can You Be a Social Widow?
Widows who have a high sense of well-being, have a vibrant social network. Their number one strategy to raising their mood and combat depression is to get out with family and friends.…
Widows Donating At Christmas
Everywhere you go this season someone is asking for your donation. As a widow you have to be careful with your money. Yes, its good to give, but you don't necessarily want to open your…
Being Social As a Widow During The Holidays
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmVyB3YW8RI&t=15s"] Widows have a hard time during the holidays being social, going to parties and they often wear a mask hiding their…
Family Traditions Make the Holidays For a Widow
Traditions are more important than ever, as they provide opportunities for widows to think about their family member and renew the love they have for each other. Holidays symbolize our…
Holidays As A Widow
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4cMCnbQINo&feature=youtu.be"] The holidays are hard and it doesn't matter how many years have gone by without our loved ones. As a widow…
Sudden Death of a Loved One
[kad_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlO2RTV1VPc"] Death of a loved one that is sudden and unexpected can really mess us up. Grief is hard enough but when its sudden we may…
My Fourth Christmas as a Widow
Here is an entry from my journal seven years ago when I was going into my fourth Christmas without Donnie. "The season isn’t filled with joy. Instead, I’m going against the whole season of…
Holidays for Children Who Are Grieving
Going it alone can be tough at this time of the year. It’s crazy to pretend that everything is the same when it’s not. Here are some tips to help your children and grandchildren survive the…
What Not To Say To Grievers
It can be nerve-wracking trying to say the “right thing” and many times the very things that people think will comfort us instead only end up hurting us. Let’s look at some hurtful things…
The Empty Chair
Last night I went to my nieces wedding. It's been eleven years since Donnie's death and you would think that I would be used to that empty chair across from me - but I'm not and I don't…
Widows - What Is Your Attitude
How are you progressing in your grief journey? Some widows think they will be happy when they sell the house, when they get more money or when the kids grow up etc. but happiness isn’t…
Planting a Memorial Tree
There are many different ways to remember our loved ones. Planting a tree is just one of many suggestions. This type of memorial can mean a lot to you and family members when dealing with a…
My Monument for The Gravesite
Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it, and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. In the back it has the Serenity…
A Widow and Her Dream Crushers
Often, without even realizing it, our friends and families make us feel powerless to change. We are met with comments like “you can’t do that” or “you can’t afford that” or “you’re too old,…
What Are Widows Afraid Of?
Death results in fears of all kinds. Some fears you didn’t know you would ever feel. Some are old fears you’ve had most of your life but had been successfully denying up to now. A little…
Love me now ...
People come to the funerals of those they haven’t seen or spoken to in years. Why is that when the person would have enjoyed friendship during their healthy days and appreciated their…
I talk about my grief all the time, but it doesn’t seem to help.
I know it’s hard once you lose your loved one. I relate it to being on a double highway with someone to share the journey with and then all of a sudden you are in the ditch and by yourself.…
Handbook for Grievers
Years ago my life changed dramatically when my husband died at the age of fifty-three. I needed to trust what my inner voice was telling me, but I just wasn’t listening. I began to learn…
Lying Low When Grieving
When grieving, your urge may be to do something-anything-to avoid your life. But what if you just want to hide under the covers? I often advise widows to get out, even it’s just to have…
Being a Responsible Widow
When your loved one dies, to say that your life will change is the greatest of all understatements. Your life will be torn apart; mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.…
Organize Your Precious Memories
Nothing means more to us widows than the memories of our loved ones: dating, marriage, children, travel and the list goes on. Therefore, nothing should be more important than organizing…
How do I make sense of my husband’s death?
Widows are knocked off balanced when they lose their loved ones, but we must get back into living our life and not just existing. It helps to make some goals for your new future as a single…
Is Fear Your Dominant Emotion?
After we lose our husbands we are unbalanced and being a “widow” is a strange new role. I was surprised to find that a dominant emotion for me was fear. Fear that I would never emerge from…
Talking To Yourself
You have to step outside your comfort zone and challenge your desire to be risk free and safe. You may have to have a heart-to-heart talk to yourself. It’s time for change and to get up out…
Is it Better or Worse if They Die Suddenly?
Is it better or worse how they died....suddenly or after months or years of suffering? We often wrestle with this question and I’ve learned to accept it’s all the same but different and no…
A Widows "Stages Of Grief" - Do They Exist?
There is nothing like video's for telling our stories and sharing information for widows. "Stages of Grief" has been under dispute these last few years. To hear more about this please go to…
Who Supports Widows?
The questions below will help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your present network: Name 3 people you call when your down and need encouragement:…
Letting Go of Your Hurts and Pains
We live in a society that loves to make excuses, and one of our favorite phrases is “It’s not my fault.” But the truth is, if we are bitter and resentful, it’s because we are allowing…
Advice Widows Have Found Helpful
You will be feeling a considerable amount of emotional pain and it’s normal not to want to be around others in the initial months following their death. While we are grieving we are not our…
Tell Others How to Help You
Let your friends and family know that their comforting presence (a hug or a touch) is important. They can help with shopping, cooking, errands or drives to appointments. It also helps us to…
Lack of Understanding from Family and Friends
We often express bewilderment at the lack of understanding from friends and families. Time and time again I hear this refrain: … but they don’t understand. Perhaps as time goes by your…
Sudden Death of a Loved One by Accident or Suicide
When we lose a loved one suddenly it's very hard to adjust to our loss. We didn't get a chance to say goodbye, and there may be other things that will be forever left unsaid or unfinished.…
The Original You
Are you ready to feel good about yourself again, to be the best you can be? You can dare to be happy with who you are right now and accept yourself, faults and all. You may not realize it,…
Good Friendships Go Both Ways
How do you relate to the most important people in your life? Ask yourself “Do I get what I need from my relationships?” and “Am I investing enough time and effort in my relationships?” In…
Recurring Thoughts or Dream of a Loved On
Now and then, a newly bereaved person will tell me about a recurring thought or dream of a loved one. The person feels possessed by these thoughts or dreams and powerless to stop them. No…
Single in a Couple’s World
After the death of a loved one, life is forever changed. The Saturday movie night that you enjoyed with special friends is gone. You are now a single in a couple’s world. In the worst-case…
Loving Kindness
I understand your pain, but I also know that despite unimaginable suffering, others have found their way back to happiness and we can too. Buddhist monks developed a quality known as…
Grieve, Cry, Be Sad – I Dare You
Yes, I dare you to grieve, cry and be sad, because that may be your journey when you lose someone you love. Don’t rush your grief, and don’t let others rush it either. I’ve had women write…
Assessing our own self-image
Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling good about yourself, other people become very nice? Isn’t it funny how they changed? The world is a reflection of ourselves and our…
Living in the present moment
If you hang with critical people, you will learn to criticize. If you hang with happy people, you will learn about happiness. Choose your company and you choose what you want from life. If…
Solitude
Do you find yourself doing things you don't want to do? Spending time with people you would whether not be with? The funny thing about being a widow is all the time you have on your own,…
Peace, Balance and Enjoyment
This last month I've been so busy finishing my "Dating Guide for Widows" and starting my YouTube channel for "The Sisterhood of Widows" that I got out of balance. Even though I love the…
Dating Guide for Widows
I have a new Guide called "Dating Guide for Widows" that is now for sale as a download file. You can find it under "Products" page on my website…
The Sisterhood of Widows YouTube Channel
I'm always looking for ways to encourage and support widows, and so, starting a YouTube channel was a natural part of my journey. It's going to have videos on all the topics that we discuss…
How Does Life Go On?
Life goes on they say, but how can it, how dare it without our loved one? To fully heal our hearts, we must give ourselves permission to be happy. Eventually, as our heart heals, we will…
Working Through Your Grief
In the 60’s and 70’s psychologists outlined "stages" of grief describing the typical emotions one can expect to experience based on the best-known list of stages developed by Dr. Elisabeth…
Fixing A Broken Relationship
There is an art to knowing when a relationship can be saved and when it's beyond repair. If your not careful you will waste too much time and put too much effort into something that is…
Easter Long Weekend
As a widow nothing highlights being alone as much as holidays and long weekends. If your lucky you have family close by and will be able to share part of the long weekend with them. But for…
Free Support Guides when Grieving
I've been blessed and I want to pass that on to all the widows that are struggling like I was. To that end I am no longer selling my Guides as downloads - they are now available for free…
Doctors Who Snapped
On the Dr. Oz show they talked about Doctors that were so stressed that they snapped and took their own lives. They made a lot of good points about how their loved ones didn’t see the signs…
Ask For Help
I know its hard being a widow and having to do everything, especially when your used to having a husband help you. But please, if you do not know something, ask for help and advice. Often…
A Widow’s Friend – Yes or No
When our loved one died our lives and the people in them were forever changed. When we are grieving, our friendships may experience some difficulties, but there is an art to knowing when a…
Jealous Widow
I don’t know about you but I find it hard to watch couples together. The young lovers, holding hands and so openly showing their love, make my heart break from memories of my earlier years…
Don't Let "Death" Control Your Life
At first you just get by minute by minute - then hour by hour - day by day - week by week, until you can do a month without breaking down. If you can have an "ok" moment of 60 seconds at…
The Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association (CHPCA)
The Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association (CHPCA) is your one stop shop for hospice palliative care resources and information materials for health care providers, volunteers and…
How Are You Doing As A Widow
Take time on your grief journey to stand still and shake off the heavy burden you have been carrying. Ask yourself some questions: Do you still think of your husband every day? Do you…
When Sleep Won't Come
If there is one problem shared by most widows, it’s that sleep won’t come and the nights are way too lonely and long. When my husband died I just couldn’t seem to locate the switch that…
The Life Of A Caregiver
Caring for a loved one whose life has been shortened is challenging work that most of us are untrained or prepared for. The emotions, the worry, the uncertainty about treatments, caring for…
Forgive - Yes, You Can!
No one is perfect and we are certainly not ourselves when we lose someone we love. When you do make a mistake acknowledge it, but don’t hold onto it for the rest of your life. If you hurt…
Valentine's Day As A Widow
As I approach valentine’s day without my husband I think about being single in a world I once knew as a couple. I think that searching and believing in a soul mate can be dysfunctional and…
Kids Who Don’t Want Mom Dating
What about a widow who starts dating a great guy and is having fun, feeling like a teenager again – but her two teenagers aren’t pleased? They become angry and start treating her in a mean…
Toxic Friendships
Friendships often change when we become a widow, some friends drift away because they were part of your couple friendships and some drift because they just can't handle your grief. In both…
Do You Want To Date?
You’re a smart and warmhearted woman with lots to give and you are missing the love you used to have with your husband. You know what it’s like to have a life with someone to love and you…
It's Hard To Say Goodby
It’s hard to say good-bye to our husbands, but putting off meaningful conversations is perhaps the number one source of regret. Spend time telling them what they mean to you. Dying people…
You're Changing - Can Others Handle It?
We live in social systems that call for continuous and complex interconnections. A widow who undergoes a dramatic shift creates a ripple effect, requiring change from those around her, and…
Treat Yourself With Dignity
It’s time to make some changes and a good start is acknowledging the good and bad in your life. Write down a declaration that in this New Year you will make a conscious effort to treat…
Recovering From Trauma
Widows need to talk, to share their stories and memories. Fortunately, most of us know that talking to a compassionate person can help heal our emotional pain, but if along with grief we…
Widows - Do You Have A Secret?
When we keep a secret there is almost always shame involved, either for others or for ourselves. As widows we know that coming clean can be risky. It can expose real vulnerabilities and…
Financial Advice for Widows
As widows we have learned quite painfully, that life is full of unexpected potholes. That’s why we need to plan for the unforeseen – even more so, now that we are on our own. So your first…
Widows Joining Forces
Widows are like everyone else when it comes to wanting their New Year to be better. And the best way to succeed is to join forces with people that may have different opinions than you.…
A Widow's High Anxiety
You are smart, successful, popular – and a new widow. Your anxiety may begin in a bad dream, where you wake up to a messy bed and waves of worry that won’t let you go back to sleep. You get…
Anywhere but Here
This is a simple story: I became a widow at fifty, and my life changed in ways that are not easy to explain, even to myself. We all invent ourselves, more or less consciously, out of what…
A Widow's New Year 2018
If you choose to bring in the New Year by yourself than do it in style. Try a glass of champagne or wine with double buttered popcorn and a favorite movie. I suggest a motivational movie…
Soon Christmas Will Be Over
The whole holiday season is hard when you're a widow. But as you struggled through it, did you do something kind for someone or been on the receiving end of a thoughtful gesture? When you…
A Widow's Gift to The World
Forget about what’s possible and what’s impossible. Let your mind drift as you think about all the possibilities. Here are a few worldly gifts to get you thinking: • The gift of…
Christmas Music to Help Widows
I get it, Christmas is stressful for Widows – I know because I’m a widow just like you. One stress buster I use is listening to Christmas jazz or other mellow music for 30 minutes as it can…
Widows and Christmas Spending
Marketing is setup to make us feel like scrooge if we don’t shower our loved ones with gifts. As widows we sometimes buy into the idea that our love is shown in the value of our gifts.…
Family Get Togethers
With the holiday season, comes the family get-togethers with different generations and values. Depending on which generation hosts the family get-togethers, it can be stressful dealing with…
Grief Doesn't Go Away Because of The Holidays
I know life is hard when we are grieving and the holidays just intensive those feelings. But you can get through it with a little helping hand and I’ve got a list for you, a collection of…
Honoring Our Loved Ones
Holidays can be used to honor our loved ones. Light a candle, tell favorite stories or share meaningful pictures. You may want to make a decoration, plant a tree or pick your own unique way…
Sharing A Meal With Family or Friends
Sometimes, when times are tough, a home cooked meal (giving or receiving) can be just the thing you need to lift your spirits. The last thing people think about in times of grief is…
Meaning of Holiday Season
Stop, take a deep breath and make a list of all those things on your calendar. Now, cross off the ones that mean the least to you. Take your updated list and focus on the one or two holiday…
Bad Case of Holiday Anxiety
Holiday anxiety is as predictable as overspending on gifts, duty visits, sugar treats and decorations. And we shouldn’t take it lightly, especially when we are grieving. Holiday stress can…
Holidays Tips for Widows
During the holiday season grieving is even more difficult so here are a few tips to help you: • A lot of traditions are no longer possible when a loved one dies. Keep what traditions you…
Music to Heal
Just about everyone I know is going through some kind of loss - we're at an age where we're losing friends, parents and older family members. We can channel our emotional journey with songs…
After a Few Years - What Then?
We have only a limited time on this earth and we need to face the reality that our life goes on after the death of our loved one. When we do, that constant awareness of the limit of our…
Grieving Time
If your a recent widow, you are just getting by minute by minute - then hour by hour - day by day - week by week until you finally can do month by month without breaking down. If you can…
Thankfulness
Today is the funeral for one of the widows in our “Chick’s Night Out” local group. She wasn’t 60 yet and had been fighting cancer long before the sudden death of her partner. She lost not…
The Unknown World of a Widow
As widows we start our healing by allowing the unknown, being open to a world of possibilities. As scary as that can be, it's the only way to find out what you really want. Staying tied up…
Loneliness
When our spouses were alive, we were more content to sit around on a Saturday night to watch TV and eat leftovers. But now they are gone and loneliness is our new companion. So our desire…
Widow Survivors
We widows need the support of those around us but we sometimes find it hard to express our need. Below is advice for you to share with those who care about you: • Listen to me. • Allow me…
Widows - Having Anxiety Attacks
As widows we become anxious when our brain responds to our fears by telling our body to prepare to “fight or flight”. Symptoms are: sweating, heart palpitations, tremors, crying, feeling…
A Widows Inner Circle of Friends
We are widows but we are also spiritual and energetic beings that have been knocked down by grief. Our health is directly related to the environment we are in and it often suffers when we…
Relating To Others
When we reach the end of our life, it won't matter what possessions we have. When it's all said and done, our relationship with others is all that really matters. How we related to the…
Widows - Supporting Each Other
As widows we are all unique and we are also at different stages in our grief journey. I try to post positive advice so that we don't just focus on what we don't have. Some widows reply back…
A Widow’s World – Victim or Survivor
The longer I’m a widow, the less interested I am in “the cold hard truth”, and the more interested I become in the way we see that “cold hard truth”. The truth is not so much what happened,…
Widows and Estate Planning
When you die, all your important documents need to be found – the will, birth certificate, life insurance policies, pension information, bank details and more. Have ownership papers for…
Widows Embracing Life
Ten years ago I became a widow going through a dark season of grief. I read that reconnecting with my inner child is a terrific way to heal my wounds. But instead I have become absolutely…
We Need Positive People
I enjoy encouraging widows to seek out the positive in life by listening to others with the intent to find good about what they are saying or doing. If you tune into the positive, you will…
Widows That Vent
You’re lonely without your spouse and yes, there is no going back. And, just for now, complaining can make you feel better – if done within limits. The very word “vent” tells us that…
Widows Starting Work Again
Many women make the decision to stay home once the children start coming. Their husband is the main income and they cut back on expenses so that they can have that life style. That is…
Happiness is Being Connected
No matter what life deals you, there is always going to be a little “hole” if you don’t include spirituality. We need connections– with people, animals, nature and life. Research shows that…
A Widow's Attitude
Why is it so much easier to be negative than positive? I know that the choice is mine and that the consequences of being negative, is frustration and unhappiness. So the question is “How do…
Honour Your Memories
There are many ways to honour those that we have loved and lost: Give your grief its voice by expressing your loss. Display photographs. Restore old or tattered pictures. Donate to a worthy…
Talking About Dying
Talking about dying is very difficult. I remember when Donnie and I found out that he had cancer. We didn’t talk about his possible death; it was as if we could delay or even elude it if we…
Being a Care Giver
If you cared for your loved one before their death, than all you energy and focus went into that one mission. Your life may have become very isolated from the rest of the world. When the…
Victim Mentality
Some widows develop lifelong victim mentality following the death of their loved one. They feel that they have been wronged or robbed of something precious. It places a burden on family and…
A Widows Forgiveness
The inability or unwillingness to forgive is one of the most common emotional blocks to healing. What are you holding onto – doctor or hospital error, unfeeling or insensitive remarks, God…
Love Yourself First
If the center of your love is in your spouse and he dies, the center is suddenly removed and that is what makes our grieving so painful. We may end up feeling unloved and spend time looking…
Re-entry into the Single Life
You have travelled the grief journey and have come to the point where you are ready to start your life as a single person. It will be a different life from when you were young and single.…
Allow Grieving
Staying tied up in our past helps us to avoid our grief and also delays our healing. Changing from wife to widow can mean a loss of identity. You may still want to be known as a married…
Tired of being Tired
Widows – if you feel that your life is small and you have no future, you need to dream more. Nothing will help you break out of your rut faster than a worthwhile dream that you are…
Absent Friends
Sadly just when you need your friends the most, they may present problems to your already stressed emotional well-being. You’re a widow, suffering the loss of your loved one and need…
Are Your Friendships Healthy?
As a widow my friends became even more important in my life. But I didn’t always appreciate them or the support they tried to give me. I ran hot and cold – some days I didn’t want to be…
A Widow's Loneliness - Part Three
The last two parts talked about loneliness, being busy and finally getting comfortable with yourself. Now the question is - are you still grieving and in the early stages of loneliness or…
A Widow's Loneliness - Part Two
Of course as widows we are lonely. It’s hard to go from being a couple to being single, plus we need to grieve before we can heal. But in time you will arrive at the point of being…
A Widow's Loneliness - Part One
Your quiet home is a constant reminder that your loved one is gone – really gone. The silence can be crushing and you may find it hard to concentrate. TV is boring and nothing excites you!…
Widows Need Positive Words
I know that life is beyond hard and that deep grief can get a hold of us to the point that no joy or light can come into our lives. But positive words contain hidden power that, when…
What to Expect as a Widow
When you suddenly become a widow, you don’t know what to expect. Your world’s been turned upside down and nothing is as it should be. Even though you may think you’re going crazy, you’re…
How Do Widows Handle Celebrations?
In May 2007 I turned fifty years old and I was married. Donnie and I were looking forward to being empty nesters and we had such great plans for our future. But life has its own plans and…
Stressful Widows
Stress is Serious - The death of a loved one can cause acute stress, weakening your immunity and triggering flare-ups of migraines, irritable bowel syndrome and arthritis. When you are…
Reinvention and Widowhood
I know you are thinking that “reinvention” sounds like work and that it will take energy you just don’t have. But the sad truth is that you have no choice, as a widow your life has already…
When Will The Grieving Get Easier?
Recently I was asked - "I lost my spouse last year and I still feel unbalanced. When will it start to get easier"? Everyone is different but there are some factors that might contribute to…
Are You Frustrated?
When a loved one dies, we are left not only with our memories but also with a host of mixed emotions. It is way too easy to dwell on what one could have done better, why friends don’t…
Widows Have Empathy For Others
I have talked a lot about this feeling of “empathy” that I share with some of my widowed friends. We have had many long talks about the necessity of understanding the reactions of others,…
How are you progressing in your grief journey?
Some widows think they will be happy when they sell the house, when they get more money or when the kids grow up etc. but happiness isn’t somewhere in your future. Your happiness is in the…
Emotional Pain Caused by Grief
You may be feeling a considerable amount of emotional pain and it’s normal not to want to be around others in the initial months following his/her death. While we are grieving we are not…
Why is the Death of a Parent so Difficult?
If an elderly parent dies, their death may be dismissed by: "Oh well, they had a good life, didn't they?" It may make you feel that you don't have a reason to grieve. This is not true. •…
Don't Make Major Decisions When Grieving
When I got certified as a Grief Recovery Specialist they were quite stern that under no circumstances was a grieving person to make any major changes in their life for at least a year. I…
How Does a Widow Fit In?
We widows are yearning to discover how we fit in now that we are on our own. Many of us join online-dating sites, looking for deep connections with others. Widows are nesters, looking for a…
A Widow's Grief Moods
Rapid mood changes are typical when widows are grieving. Widow's are often doing good and then without any apparent reason, they take an emotionally down turn and are unable to stop crying.…
Money Troubles
I wish I could say that every widow is left financially set but in truth the death of a spouse can leave a lot of widows financially broke. Reality is harsh and I know you didn't ask for…
Are You Thinking of Dating Again?
Looking for a new relationship while still grieving will just add to your emotional problems. Jumping into a new relationship when we are still raw with grief makes no sense and almost…
Widows and Taking Financial Control
I may be making an impact on widows lives, but they have also made an unforgettable imprint on my soul. It is fulfilling to be giving value to other widows and your finances are the most…
Are Widows and Their Money Soon Parted?
Most of us know by now that money doesn’t bring happiness but the truth is that the lack of money can bring plenty of pain. I’m not talking about money to buy a fancy car or a vacation home…
Help From Your Children
My feeling is that being widowed late in life has a much greater impact on everyone than most people realize. The truth is that being widowed at any age is a major life event and it can be…
Health and Grief
How we wrestle with grief — and ultimately push ahead to a new life — varies among widows. But many of us who need help to bounce back are not getting it, health experts warn, and that…
People in Your Life
As widows we get knocked off balance but we must get back into living our lives and not just existing. There are three parts in our life journey – yesterday, today and tomorrow and the…
Making the Home Yours
What does one do with all the stuff we had accumulated over the years? I found out, much to my amazement, that the children really didn’t want it either. Having a lot of things stuffed in…
Do You Postpone Making Decisions?
Some people keep putting off what needs to be done, thus causing stress and anxiety to build up. It’s easier for them to postpone making a decision than to make a decision. Excuses range…
Assuming Control Over Your Life
When your loved one died you had no choice because you were not in a position of control. Tears flow and again you are not in control. Others around you take over and although they are…
Trusting Your Instincts
For lasting joy you have to learn to trust your instincts for a sense of what’s best for you. Your instinct is like a small voice, a sensation beneath the surface that tells us to pay…
Social Life of a Widow
There is nothing worse than having to leave a gathering of friends to go home alone to an empty house. After the death of a loved one, life is forever changed. You are now a single in a…
Getting Married Again
When is it right to get married again? I think you should get married again when you feel that you don’t want to live without this person in your life. I have witnessed some new…
Grief and Valentine’s Day
There is no special occasion as hurtful as Valentine’s Day for highlighting that you no longer have your loved one and that you are now a widow. They say grief brings people closer…
Being Single or Dating Again
You may find that being a widow and single is hard but you’re happier single then dating. It doesn’t matter what you choose – being single or looking for another relationship – what matters…
Are You Ready to Date?
You are a smart and warm hearted person with lots to give and you are missing the love you used to have. As a widow you know what it’s like to have a life with someone to love and you…
Widows With the Courage to Love Again
The act of love requires work and courage. When alone there is a certain amount of fear when reaching out to others and loving again. We have been hurt by the death of our loved ones and…
7 Key People We Need in Our Lives
We all have people in our lives that come and go, but they don't always bring any value or commitment. Then there are others that are here for the long haul. They care about us and are…
Widows - Are We Resentful?
When you lose someone you love, you may feel bitter about them “going before their time”. It’s easy to resent others that are describing their difficulties with their spouse, child or…
Is it Depression or Grief?
It’s not always easy to tell the difference especially after the death of a loved one. But depression is very different in terms of duration and severity. Sometimes, the bereaved get stuck…
Is it Normal to Think About Suicide?
Probably the most undocumented response to grief is how some wish that they could end their own life. They don’t really want to kill themselves; they just wish for death to put an end to…
How Can We Help a Child Grieve?
Sometimes we get so lost in our own grief that we forget the young and how different they may be processing the death of our loved one. • Begin to talk to them before the death occurs. This…
Why is the Dealth of a Parent so Difficult?
If an elderly parent dies, their death may be dismissed by: "Oh well, they had a good life, didn't they?" It may make you feel that you don't have a reason to grieve. This is not true. .…
What are the Goals of a Widow?
What Are Your Goals? What gives you the best value for your time? That indicates what you should do. Remember time spent is forever gone - it’s not like money that can be earned. Don’t let…
New Year's Eve as a Widow
Ring in the year with some of your best friends. New Year’s Eve is the holiday where you spend time with the friends you care about the most and it’s also the holiday that’s most painful…
The Power of Relationships
Christmas may be over but our social life still has to be addressed. Relationship are not just knowing how to manage one on one but also knowing how to be part of a group. Do you find it…
For Us Widows - Merry Christmas 2016
Merry Christmas - My gift to you is this list that came from the book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie. It’s a hard time of the year without our loved ones, but…
Widows Facing the Pain of Grief
Human emotions are a package deal – the good, the bad and the ugly. Holding in our pain renders us numb to the joy of living as well as blocking our healing. The only way out of grief is to…
Life Events Change Us
No one goes from birth till death without some major changes – getting married, having kids, death of loved ones and retirement are just a few of the major changes that we have to handle.…
Widows Need Unconditional Support
At Christmas we honor family and all its extensions. Everybody needs someone they can count on, trust and get that unconditional support that we all yearn for. That bond is more important…
Do Widows Become Invisible?
Being a widow changes how we think about ourselves and how the world looks at us. It’s been years for me but sometimes I still feel like I’m half here and that if I’m not careful I will in…
Compassion Connects Widows
Remember how you felt when someone complimented you or did something nice for you? It probably made you believe that goodness is still possible. When there is compassion, feelings akin to…
Acknowledge Our Loss
Holidays can arouse grief as well as joy. The season will be much more fulfilling if you can find a place for both your grief and the joy of the season. Life goes on they say, but how can…
I Feel Like Scrooge
Well, it’s that time of year again, the season for being thankful and grateful. It starts with Thanksgiving Day and goes through till New Year’s Day. Being thankful is a positive way to…
Widows Have Strong Emotions
You may have strong emotions (like hostility, anger, hopelessness) after the loss of your loved one. Researchers have begun to discover that when widows feel hopeless, their entire physical…
How Do I Survive The Holidays?
As widows we often wish that we could avoid the whole holiday season (Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year Eve’s) by going away or sleeping through it! You may even feel under a great deal…
Loneliness is Curable
At times in my life, as a widow, I have been utterly lonely. Try admitting this in our culture and you’ll find that the listeners will cringe with a mixture of pity, revulsion and alarm. In…
Why do Friends Drift Away?
Unfortunately, about two months after you’ve lost your husband your friends kind of forget about it. They dropped over a lasagna or sent flowers. They may even have taken time off work to…
Widows dating again - when is the right time?
You know what it’s like to have a life with someone to love and its normal to wonder about dating again. But the act of love requires work and courage. When alone there is a certain amount…
Self-Pity is an Energy Robber
Grief is normal and natural but as widows we have to fight the demon of self-pity as it’s a waste of our energy. Never accept defeat – grief may knock us down, giving us bruises, heartaches…
What Is Your Attitude?
A widow with a negative attitude thinks “I can’t”. They dwell on problems, find fault with everything and everyone while focusing on what’s missing in their lives. They can only see…
Shopping Therapy for Loneliness
I decided that I would put all my receipts in a basket to see where I spent my money. It just seems that the money goes and I don’t know where. After all I never go to fancy stories to buy…
My Memories As A Widow
Two months after Donnie’s death I did our monument. I put our wedding date and picture on it, and had it inscribed with “Charlie Brown and Snoopy Forever”. In the back it has the Serenity…
Summer Time Friendships
In the summer time we Widows get tired of being by ourselves. It seems like everyone is busy with family and friends except us. When we do connect with others it's a quick Facebook message…
Widows and Optimism
As you grieve you may be suffering from a general lack of energy. You may feel tired and drained. You may be highly stressed and on your way to a complete burn-out. Take action now to bring…
Grief is Different for Everyone
It’s highly individualized and is influenced by numerous factors, including the severity and duration of the relationship and/or illness. However, there are some principles that encompass…
Grief is Powerful
When I was a child I thought that if I was good and did what I was supposed to that life would be easy and I wouldn’t have any troubles. When I grew up I learned that troubles come…
Widows Doing Something They Love
I have listened as widows tell me that the "fun" side of them has virtually disappeared. It seems that along their way, while grieving and facing the responsibilities of being single, they…
Do Widows Become Invisible?
Being a widow changes how we think about ourselves and how the world looks at us. It’s been years for me but sometimes I still feel like I’m half here and that if I’m not careful I will in…
Confronting Our Fears
When widows finally develop the courage to meet a problem head on, the problem disappears and with it our fears. Take the courage to make that difficult phone call, confront a person or…
Chick's Night Out - New Brunswick
I have created a new Facebook page for the women in New Brunswick, Canada that have lost a loved one. "Chick's Night Out - New Brunswick" is a closed site where widows can share their…
Fire Fighters at Fort McMurray Fire
I'm studying to become an "Early Intervention Field Traumatology" and in my study material is the below article that I wanted to share in honor of the Fire Fighters at the Fort McMurray…
Widows and the People in Their Lives
How do you relate to the most important people in your life? Ask yourself “Do I get what I need from my relationships?” and “Am I investing enough time and effort in my relationships?” In…
Acute Grief and Suicide
Most grief is anticipated with family and friends knowing in advance that death is coming. But acute grief is sudden, unannounced and leaves you shaken to the core. When your loved one…
Caregivers Health
It is common for the health of caregivers to become compromised. Sometimes help for caregivers can be difficult to find but Hospice Volunteers go willingly into homes to relieve the…
Widows – Stress and Lack of Sleep
Sleep is hard to come by when we lose our loved ones. It’s very important that we understand how lack of sleep affects our lives and what we can do about it. A list of what happens when we…
Forgiveness and Grace
In my life I’ve made many mistakes but the ones I regret the most are my parenting mistakes. Donnie and I got along so well that children were just a natural part of our journey together.…
Face to Face Friendships
Are you keeping track of your friendships through Facebook? Truth is that it’s sometimes just tidier and more efficient to send out a quick electronically message, eliminating the need for…
It's Okay to Be Wrong
If we are more sensitive to the views of others in the first place, we are less likely to put ourselves in situations where we have to make apologies. We need to say “I’m wrong” from our…
7 People Every Widow Needs in Her Life
We all have people in our lives that come and go - they don't bring any value or commitment. Then there are others that are here for the long haul. They care about us and are willing to…
Brenan's Funeral Home - Workshop and 8 Week Grief Recovery Method
Upcoming events: Saturday March 5th, 2016 - Grief Recovery/ Positive Change ( 3 hour workshop) Starting Tuesday March 15th, 2016 - 8 Week Grief Recovery Method ( 2 hours a week) These…
Changing Someone Else’s Behavior
When things are going bad, it’s usually made worse by someone else’s behavior. Sadly it’s hard enough to control our own behavior let alone control someone else’s. But there are some things…
Embracing Your Life
A lot happens after our husband’s death but in the midst of it all we need to hold on to the fact that others don’t control our destiny. Never, ever let other people determine your future.…
For Widows: Grief is Individual
Our grief is directly related to the uniqueness of our marriage and no two marriages are the same. There is a lot of confusion about grief and how a person should handle it. But grief does…
Valentine's Day As a Widow
It’s difficult to see happy couples all around you when your spouse has died and your on your own. Valentine’s Day used to be a day of cards, flowers and a special date night, but now it’s…
Rachel Stephenson - Against Grieving in Silence
I received this email yesterday from Rachel Stephenson with her youtube link. Her message is powerful and I just had to pass it on. Rachel talks about how complicated grief is and I love…
Longevity as Widows
Widows understand how precious life is and the good news is that with the advancements in health care our lifespans may normally start reaching to 90 and more. But how are you going to…
Widows and Travelling
It’s been years since my husband’s death and I’ve travelled a lot. As a widow I’ve found that the success of my travels is almost always directly linked to the people that I’m travelling…
Preplanning - When is the right time?
I was only fifty when my husband of twenty seven years died. Donnie was fifty three years old and we had our wills done when the children were small but we hadn't done any other…
The Four Promises Of Forgiveness
I got these "Four Promises of Forgiveness" from the book "Lists to Live by" by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest. I'm passing this list on because one of the major blocks to…
Making Good Decisions as a Widow
As a widow we are left to make our decisions without our husbands input; every day we make hundreds of them. Most are minor, but we will be forced to make some important and even life…
Christmas Magic
When I was a child I dreamed of a perfect Christmas: lots of sweets, every toy on my wish list and time off from school. In reality, money was hard to come by and although there was lots of…
Dysfunctional Families and Holidays
I have a surprise for you – we are all dysfunctional in one way or another and if we accept this with a sense of humor we may just survive the holidays with our sanity intact. For many…
Canadian Hospice Palliative Care (CHPCA)
The Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association (CHPCA) is your one stop shop for hospice palliative care resources and information materials for health care providers, volunteers and…
Do You Want to Skip Christmas?
If they ever invent time travel, many of us widows will be the first to line up to skip pass November and December for a first class ticket to January. We will bypass all of the "holiday…
Crazy Season of Expectations
It's part of our culture to want what we don't have and not to be grateful for what we do have. This "season of wants" puts pressure on everyone to give and spend until you wish you hadn't.…
Are You Lonely At Christmas?
I've been out every night this week: Monday - Dinner and movie with 14 ladies from "Chicks Night Out" Tuesday - Dinner with 7 people from work. Wednesday - Evening with sister and family.…
Grief Poem
Last week when facilitating my Grief Recovery workshop I was given this poem by a widowed man that was in the workshop. He didn't write the poem but found it helpful and wanted to pass it…
Crime Stoppers' Checklist for Widows
Widows need to be safe in their own homes. The list below was selected from a pamphlet published by MetLife's Consumer Education Center. Do you have a dog? Barking dogs attract attention…
Courage to Love Again - Widowed
The act of love requires work and courage. Once widowed there is a certain amount of fear when reaching out to others and loving again. We have been hurt by the death of our loved ones and…
Law of Attraction Workshop
What Is Your Life – Positive or Negative? “Law of Attraction” is all about having a positive life even when things aren’t going your way. I don’t just teach about the Law of Attraction – I…
Widows Beware Of Scammers
Widows beware - there are scammer out there preying on your grief. I got the below email today from a widow warning about a "friend request" that she got that turned out to be a scammer.…
My Vitamin "F"
Why do I have a variety of friends who are all different in character? Some of them can be considered marginal even? While other surpass me! How do I get along with them all? I think that…
Do Widows Postpone Making Decisions?
Sometimes we widows keep putting off what needs to be done, thus causing stress and anxiety to build up. Life is hard when we are grieving and it can be easier to postpone making a decision…
Can Widows Live Deliberately?
When we are grieving it’s hard to just get out of bed let alone experience life passionately and purposefully. I know that we were created to live deliberately, not postponing joy for some…
Chicks Night Out and Hospice
After Donnie died I was lost and didn't know how to be happy or laugh again. A few years later I started the group "Chicks Night Out" and it's become a great social get together for all the…
Special People
Special people come into our lives sometimes for a moment and sometimes for a life time. We don't always take note of everything they do or recognize how they help us on our journey. They…
Memories Can Never Be Stolen
Life isn’t about “things” – “things” don’t come to your funeral. This past weekend I cleaned out the cottage so I could close it up for the winter. You would think that it would get easier…
Caregiving is emotionally stressful
Caregiving is physically demanding, there’s no doubt about that, but the emotional stress can be even more draining. Whether you’re caring for a loved one or you’re a full time caregiver in…
How To Have Victory Over The Negatives
It's hard to be positive when your grieving, but how you respond to your loss is totally up to you. When negative thoughts about life and people start to take control, interrupt them and…
Don't Get Discouraged
Everyone has been misjudged at one time or another in their lives. After the death of your loved one there will always be people waiting to see your response, to judge your every action. Do…
Eighth Anniversary of Donnie's Death
They say you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left. I now know that I was in a state of shock and bewilderment so deep that it would take months,…
Newsletter for Widows - September 2015
As widows we are always looking for resources to help us grieve in a healthy way. This September it's been eight years since my husband died. I don't normally blog my newsletters, but for…
Can You Learn To Love Change?
Years have passed since I became a widow, a change I did not see coming. In truth I never liked change and never went looking for it. I've worked for the same organization for thirty six…
When Can You Be Yourself?
When we become a "widow" we are no longer a "wife" - its hard to know who we are. How well do we really know, like and trust ourselves? This is a critical question that we all face as we…
People You Allow In Your Life
There are three parts in life - yesterday, today and tomorrow, and the people we allow in our lives are often here for just one part of our journey. Those that were here yesterday may not…
One Step At A Time
Grief is overwhelming and can bring you to your knees - usually when you are least expecting it. You need to be consistently reminding yourself that you can get through this. The first…
Do You Fear Taking Leaps of Faith?
We often expect a clear and perfect moment for a leap of faith, when the sun and moon are in perfect balance. I wish.... The reality is so much more ordinary. All you have to do is set a…
Recognize Your Feelings Of Grief
Do you need some "emotional coping" skills for protection against the pain of grief? When you lose a loved one you are especially sensitive to everything and everyone around you. If someone…
Talking Made Me Feel Better
After Donnie's death I felt helpless. I'll never forget those first few months of grief because it was harder than it should have been. I didn't know at that time just how much I needed to…
Widows and Perfection
As a widow do you find yourself trying to do everything perfectly? I always liked doing things a certain way and I didn’t trust anyone else to help me. After Donnie’s death I felt like a…
When Is It Time To Move?
As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health may make that impossible. Moving from the home you shared with your…
Are There Different Types of Grief?
Intense sorrow is caused by the death of a loved one and it’s an emotion that varies in duration and intensity from person to person. In short, there is no easy way to "cure" grief.…
Things to Keep in Mind When Grieving
No matter how slow your grief progress, you are still way ahead of anyone who isn't even trying to heal. If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do…
Why is Sleep so Important?
When we are grieving we need to get our sleep. Lack of sleep adds even more stress to our minds and bodies. Below is a list of what happens when we don’t get enough sleep or when our sleep…
To Love and Be Loved
Let’s face it the chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are. Most of us can’t see it because we are grieving the loss of our loved one. Love is – it exists in all forms and…
Dealing with Adversity
No one likes adverse circumstances and we certainly don’t seek them out, but if we are living and breathing we will not be able to avoid difficult situations. It’s hard to acknowledge but…
Are You Going In Slow Motion?
After we lose a loved one our judgment is off so postpone major decisions, if possible. Ask friends and family to help you make minor decisions but keep major changes to a minimum.…
A Widow’s Courage
A few years into widowhood and we’re far more able to make decisions, take risks and try new things without being crippled by the fear of failure or the equally intimidating possibility of…
Financial Do’s and Don’ts
Here is some advice for widows that are thinking about getting into a new relationship. Couples need to address money issues early if they have any hope of sustaining a happy relationship.…
Take a Leap of Faith
What if you had no fear of failing, of being alone or being disapproved by others? All this is the worst case scenario that we all fear when we take a leap of faith. It’s not unusual for…
Do You Lack Boundaries?
Many widows today struggle with setting boundaries: Do you take care of everyone in your family except yourself? Are you influenced by all kinds of fads? Do you go from one bad relationship…
Freedom to Grieve
At first glance, the freedom to grieve may not seem to be a struggle for you. You may feel that you grieve freely – after all you live in a free country that does not limit you. Or, like…
Gentle Ways to Break Out of Depression
We all have times when we are high with life and everything is going our way. Unfortunately we also have times of the lowest of the low - what some call depression. Here are a few ideas to…
How Do You Respond To Tragedies?
The first thing to know is that there is no right way to respond to a tragedy. The truth is we don’t get to practice our responses ahead of the tragedy and so we shouldn’t expect everyone…
Keeping the Memories Alive
We remember the way they walked, the sound of their voice and we hold onto those intimate objects that link us to them, whether it's a picture, old love letter or engraved locket. Even…
Do You Love Life?
How long do you have to live? Do you really know? I think it's a blessing that most of us don't know. It would be hard having that hanging over our heads, every moment of every day. But…
Grief Symptoms
You may be thinking to yourself, am I experiencing a normal grief? The truth is, losing someone close to you can affect all aspects of your being. You need to heal socially, emotionally,…
Grieving and Healing booklet
It's taken me a while but my 40 page "Grieving and Healing Guide" has been published and is now available for only $ 3.00 on my Website: sisterhoodofwidows.com -products page This 40 page…
Does stress and grief steal your sleep?
Everyone has had those times of watching the clock, noting with misery how slowly the night is passing. Insomnia is repeated difficulty in falling asleep, staying asleep or feeling tired…
What Do You Really Want?
What do you want - really want out of your life? Don't look back to the past or even to your present because "what is - is" and can't be changed. Look to your future and think about what…
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it
I do not know who wrote this poem or where I got it, but I'm it's my Easter gift to you. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it Happy moments, praise God Difficult moments,…
Are You Disconnected From God?
It’s not unusual for everything in your life to be unbalanced, even your faith, when you lose a loved one. Spiritual Symptoms When Grieving: Anger at God A crisis of faith in your religious…
The "Time Factor" When Grieving
By far the most popular thought is that "time heals all wounds." While this may be partially true, it's important to understand that not everyone heals at the same pace. There could be ten…
As You Grieve - Are You Overthinking?
Our survival instinct's primary purpose is to protect us, so it's always on the lookout for trouble, but that can make us overthink on even the most simple of decisions. It keeps us focused…
Facing Your Loss - The First Step To Healing
After the loss of a loved one, we want to do something - anything - to dull our pain. Falling into the harmful habits of alcohol and drug abuse, oversleeping, T.V. overuse and not…
Pyschic/ Scam Warning from "WidowNet"
“WidowNet does not support, advocate, encourage or recommend the use of psychics by the bereaved.” Keep an open mind that it has been proved that belief and faith can achieve a great deal…
Saying Goodbye to the Dying
Saying good-bye to a dying loved one — what to talk about, when, and how — doesn’t come naturally to most of us. All they ask of us is what people appreciate hearing at any time of life:…
Overcoming Shyness
As a couple we always had someone with us when we went out or tried something new. With the death of our loved one we are on our own and that may bring out our shyness. Being shy is just…
Do "You" need a change?
Yes - sadly change was forced on you when your loved one died and you need to accept it. To be at peace with ourselves and with others, we must learn to accept change. There is no other way…
Learning to be a Widow
Learning to be a Widow is the hardest thing I have ever done Article by Joy Tyndall - Contributed to The Globe and Mail I lost my husband on Nov. 29, 2011, a statement that implies I merely…
Complicated Grief Reaction
There are various forms of grief, and one is called “complicated grief reaction.” Complicated grief reaction consists of unresolved grief in which the grief is prolonged and intense. There…
Forgive - Not for them but for yourself
Grief can cause us to spun out of control and with that goes all reason. This is a time when foolish comments and actions by others can cause us a lot of extra pain. You don't need to…
Short Term Energy Releasing Behaviors
The death of a loved one produces a lot of negative energy. Our natural reaction is find something to release this energy and make us feel better. S.T.E.R.B.S. - Short term energy releasing…
The end of 2014
After I became a widow I found "time" a strange friend - sometimes it seems like Donnie just died and yet at other times it seems like a distant past with strong memories. As I look back at…
Dealing with Holiday Grief
The holiday season can be especially rough for those of us who’ve lost someone close recently or who lost someone close at this time of the year. With all the messages of family…
The Best and Worst in People
I've found that the holidays bring out the best and worst in people. We spend time with family that we don't always want to be with. We attend functions out of obligation or good old…
Grieving Children and the Holidays
Helping Grieving Children Deal with the Holidays Children are often referred to as the "forgotten mourners." They have learned not to upset their parents and so they withdraw and don't ask…
Chicks Night Out - Grief Support Group
Christmas Holidays are hard when you don't have your loved one. Death and grief are not part of the holidays and we often feel out of place at get togethers. This week I was with the…
Watch Your Words
Words spoken without thought can hurt grieving widows and cause unnecessary pain. Words have impact and rude, mean, harsh and nasty remarks have harmful effects. These thoughtless words…
You Gotta Have Friends!
You have likely already heard how important friendships are when you are grieving. Recent studies show that lonely grievers are more likely to develop high blood pressure, sleep poorly and…
Make Your Home Happier
When we are grieving nothing appeals to us and our empty home just highlights our loneliness. Sprucing up our home by making little changes can lighten our outlook on life. A soothing space…
Learning to Accept Help
The death of a loved one feels so unreal and yet we still think we can handle it on our own. We think, “I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me”, so we don’t accept the support or help…
Family in Grief
They have not denied their pain or hidden from it. But, at the same time, they have chosen to live. And through that choice they have affirmed their belief in their family and they have…
Love and Appreciation
Every once in a while I get hit over the head by a blessing that can not be missed. Today, out of the blue, my beautiful daughter inlaw gave me flowers and wrote a thank you note with my 4…
Learn To Honor Each Day
Learning to honor each day with a humble spirit can be a challenge. Where does it come from, this human urge for “more” and “more”. As we seek things we lose the little perfections of our…
Be Free To Forgive
Sometimes things happen between people during the illness and death of a loved one that causes a lot of hurt feelings. These negative feelings have an impact on our lives, both mentally and…
7 Ways To Build Your Confidence
It's hard to start your life moving forward after the loss of a loved one. How we respond to grief and it's stress often comes down to how we feel about ourselves. It is so much easier if…
Quote by Mary Anne Radmacher
“speak quietly to yourself & promise there will be better days. whisper gently to yourself and provide assurance that you really are extending your best effort. console your bruised and…
Why do Grievers Become Workaholics?
When we are grieving feelings of inadequacy can propel us into a self-destructive behavior. Even though we may have accomplished some great things, many are still driven to do more and…
Hall's Funeral Home - Mary Francis on Grief and Healthy Healing
Hall Funeral Home and Tribute Centers, through its “Partners in Care” programming, invites you to a special program, led by Mary Francis, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Certified…
Be Kind To Yourself
Life is not about perfection. Grief can easily turn into depression and so if today all you did was get out of the house than you are doing great. Love, appreciate and accept yourself just…
Are You Happy With Yourself?
It's hard to be happy, truly happy after you have lost a loved one. Most grievers stop with being "content" because they can't even imagine being happy. Don't settle for "contentment" when…
Unresolved Grief - Article by Russell Friedman
TV shows like Hoarders, Bar Rescue, and The Biggest Loser, often show a connection between major grief events and the subsequent misfortunes the folks featured on these shows suffer from.…
Grief is grief and while our stories are different the outcome is the same
I believe that grief is grief, loss is loss, and while all of our stories are different the outcome is the same. We have lost our parents, child, spouse, our loves, our friends and often…
Have You Done Your Estate Planning?
When you die, all your important documents need to be found - the will, birth certificate, life insurance policies, pension information, bank details and more. Have ownership papers for…
Tisha Morris Blog
Below is part of a Blog article from Tisha Morris. Being Happy In The Incomplete "I could keep writing tips on time and space management, but what I really want to say is this: It is not…
Are We Obsessed With Our Grief
While expressing our grief openly is beneficial and necessary, there can be an excess of grief that can be damaging both psychologically and spiritually. It is possible for us to become so…
Types of Hospice Care
There are many types of Hospice care depending on where you live. Some programs may incorporate smaller existing programs or the community may choose based on its needs and financial…
Are You Too Busy?
Our lives have become so hectic and over scheduled that stopping to make a phone call to someone we really want to talk to, often feels like just one more additional thing to do. I know…
Do Men Grieve Different Than Women?
Although we all experience grief when we lose a loved one, women seem more likely than men to express their feelings of loss. But just because women are more expressive it doesn't mean that…
What To Do?
What can you do to help a loved one who is depressed? You love and care for them but you can't take their pain on. You are powerless to make choices for them, even if you think your advice…
Determination to Move Forward As A Widow
You've lost your loved one and life has lost it's joy but you need to be determined to move forward. Persistence is what it takes to get you through your grief so you can heal. It's been…
Smiling For Your Health
Have you heard that it takes more energy to frown than to smile? I know it's hard to find something to smile about when you have lost a loved one but it’s true and smiling will you also…
Della Reese From "Touched by an Angel"
Have you ever watched the TV show "Touched By An Angel"? It was one of the rare shows that I would watch every week because it made me feel good about life and gave me hope for the future.…
Weddings and Memories
Yesterday I went to a wedding for my daughter’s dearest best friend. It was a lovely service and wedding but I’ve found that weddings are always a little sad as they bring back memories and…
Purpose of Life as per Deepak Chopra
I'm reading an article from Oprah's magazine where Oprah and Deepak are having a conversation. I can't say that I understand or follow everything in the article but there were some key…
Shift in lifestyle and longevity
There has been a major shift for people between fifty and seventy-five as this generation is expected to be the healthiest and longest lived in history. The National Center for Health…
Financial Decisions
Financial decisions have to be made every time you turn around. Everyone has an opinion but not everyone is an expert. This is your future security so be very cautious. • Ask your bank…
Do You Postpone Decisions?
It is often easier to postpone making a decision than to make a decision that you are not sure of. You can feel overwhelmed after your spouse dies and fear making a decision you will…
Have You Been Hiding Behind A Mask?
A mask is an image that you project so that others believe that is who you are. But it stops others from really knowing how your feeling and may even keep you from knowing yourself. You may…
Albert Einstein Quote
Here is a quote from Albert Einstein that I really try to follow: "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe…
Self-Sufficient As A Widow
Being self-sufficient is defined in the dictionary as independent, supporting oneself without the help of others. Well, that couldn't explain better what we have to become when our loved…
Is Your Life – Positive or Negative?
“Law of Attraction” is all about having a positive life even when things aren’t going your way. I don’t just teach about the Law of Attraction – I teach “how to do” The Law of Attraction.…
Giving Away Personal Possessions
Some people mark personal items in their home with masking tape to indicate the name of the person who is to receive it when they die. Masking tape can be removed or lost so to ensure that…
Grieving on Mother's Day
It’s been eleven years since I lost my Mom and I still miss her wisdom and unconditional love. Of all the holidays I find Mother’s Day to be the most nostalgic without having my Mom to…
Rules For Christian Living
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever.... ... you can!…
Praise and Acknowledgement
Were you recognized recently for doing a good deed? Maybe you helped a neighbor, sent a thank-you note, prepared a meal for someone or did some volunteer work. It's invigorating to be…
Law of Attraction Workshop
What Is Your Life – Positive or Negative? “Law of Attraction” is all about having a positive life even when things aren’t going your way. I don’t just teach about the Law of Attraction – I…
Hillcrest Baptist Church
I want to thank Lorraine Lord for inviting me to talk at Hillcrest Baptist Church senior's meeting this month. I love to do these complimentary talks and meet new people especially the…
What Makes You Happy?
It's easy to think about about makes us unhappy but I want you to think about what genuinely makes you happy. I've categorized some responses I've received: Social interaction with family,…
Important Stuff I Wish I Had Been Told About Grief
I found this great article while researching and thought it was worth passing on to my readers: RePosted article from Written by Larry M. Barber, LPC-S, CT author of the grief survival…
Laughter and It's Healing Power
When we get uptight and on edge, our bodies get unhealthy and lack of energy and sleep become a problem. One of the greatest natural stress relievers is quite simply laughter. It’s the best…
Happiness is Being Connected
No matter what life deals you, there is always going to be a little “hole” if you don’t include spirituality. We need connections– with people, animals, nature and life. Research shows that…
Law of Attraction is Obedient
The Law of Attraction is Not Very Smart. But it is Obedient. Words are the building blocks of our thoughts. Thoughts are our internal dialog which causes us to have an emotional…
Defeating Depression
It's important to deal with your stress because it can easily turn into depression. Grief shouldn't stay for forever; like much of life it has to have it's time. I read that depression is…
Real Conversation
Good conversation is about listening, responding and relating with the other person. It's about opening the lines of communication by talking about subjects that will be interesting to the…
The Power Of Habit
It's been said that we are "creatures of habits" and there is a lot of truth in that expression. Some psychologists believe that up to ninety-five percent of our behavior is formed through…
What Are We Doing To Ourselves?
I've been working in the field of healthcare for over thirty years and it's crazy how fear and insecurity have taken over our lives. The stats show that the United States spend over nine…
How To Get Some Sleep
It’s hard to get some sleep when you have lost a loved one. Does this sound like you: You lay in bed watching the clock wondering if the night is ever going to end? You’re so tired you…
Doing What You Want
When we are growing up we are advised to get an education and career - to follow the safe path. But whenever you follow an existing path that has been planned out for you, you may be…
Minding Our Own Business
After my husband died I found that there were people in my life that stepped back and watched me make some pretty foolish mistakes without letting me know the path I was on. And yet there…
Dreaming Your Dream
Remember when you were involved in an activity and the time passed so fast that you never even noticed it? Remember when you wanted to change the world? Remember taking risks for love or…
Tell People How You Feel
Sometimes our biggest regret at a funeral is that we didn't fully communicate to our loved one just how much we loved them. Other times we let conflicts with friends and family members…
Will You Have Enough Money?
The Telegraph Journal had an article called “Almost 1 in 3 retired Canucks return to work.” The article stated that 30 per cent of retired Canadians return to work because they misjudged…
Don't Procrastinate
You need to stop and think about the fact that your time is limited. Of course nothing brings this as close to us as the loss of our spouse but sometimes in our grief we forget about our…
Know Your Demons
Most of us want to run from our demons. When our life gets crazy we want to be anyone but who we are and where we are. But our trials help us gain greater maturity so that we can recognize…
Save Their Voice Mail
Voice messages can allow bereaved friends and relatives to feel, if only temporarily, closer to the departed but they can easily get lost. Messages disappear in system upgrades. They are…
Don't Wait For The Perfect Moment
"Don't wait. The time will never be just right." Napoleon Hill We are starting a new year and with it comes the chance to do things differently. It is very simple to do and will produce…
From One Widow to Another
The danger in books and articles about balance is that they can make you feel bad about yourself. You pick up yet another self-help article and you think, "If she can do, why can't I?" If…
Sharing Christmas Day
Christmas is a great reason to get out of the house and spend time with friends and family. But sometimes there is an unspoken hassle about who to spend the day with, without hurting…
You Need To Be Social
Social connections are more powerful than you realize. They support your health and longevity so much that they are needed even more then exercise and nutrition. I have known people who…
Small Moments of Joy
The holidays are supposed to be one big Currier & Ives moment, but that just creates a holiday pressure cooker. Done right, the holidays are a time to connect with family and friends and…
Plan For Your Holidays
It's hard to go through the holidays when you are grieving, but it's better to prepare for them than to pretend that they don't exist. Our culture says that the holidays are a time to…
Stop Disowning Your Anxiety
How we think about something does affect the way we feel about it. No matter how hard we try to get rid of our anxiety, thinking about it only makes it worse. The more you focus on your…
What We Want Versus What We Need
One way to take care of yourself is by looking at what you want versus what you need . You may ask - What is the difference between the two? Simply put a want is something we hope will make…
Random Act Of Kindness
Today I witnessed a random act of kindness and it touched me. As usual I was rushing from one thing to another and only had time for a quick coffee before my next meeting. When I walked…
Resources for Widows
Inside "The Sisterhood of Widows" you will find sixteen widows to assist you in healing. These widows will really open your eyes to where you stand and may even help you get unstuck if you…
What Is Your Vision?
I know you can hardly think ahead from day to day but to heal you must have a vision for a new future. We spend years planning and creating a vision of our future shared with our loved ones…
Are You Searching For Meaning?
I've been writing for years about the fact that what we put out is what we get back, no exception. It doesn't matter what comes into your life as much as how you react to it. You need to…
Five Myths About Grief
Some myths limit our ability to deal with our feelings of grief. Those myths contain incorrect information that most of us use when we grieve. We need to take a closer look at these myths…
Death Is Not The End
One of the reasons why it's hard to get back into socializing and meeting new people is the fear of being asked that dreaded question - "How long have you been married?" Of course I could…
The Loneliness Factor
When our spouses were alive, we were more content to sit around on a Saturday night to watch TV and eat leftovers. But now they are gone and loneliness is our new companion. So our desire…
What's Your Primary Aim In Life?
How would you like the story of your life to go? That's your Primary Aim. What would you like to be able to say about your life after it's too late to do anything about it? If you were to…
Do It For Yourself
We widows are caregivers, it's in our nature and thank goodness it is!! But there comes a time when we have to start thinking about our own needs, because we do have needs and it's up to us…
Be Hopeful
There is just as much chance that the best will come to you in any situation, as it is that the worst will happen. So why not be hopeful! Sometimes hope in itself will change an outcome for…
God Understands Our Grief
The morning after Donnie’s death I laid in my bed entangled in the traumatic events of the day before. I couldn’t move or even draw up a desire to crawl out of bed. My body was numb and my…
End of Life Issues
When Donnie and I found out he was sick, we didn't relate that to being terminal and so we never talked about end of life issues. Donnie never raised the subject and I didn't want to upset…
Another Summer Is Over
Well another summer as a widow has passed. This summer was the first summer in six years that I could say I enjoyed. My two granddaughters (age 1 1/2 and 3) were old enough to stay with me…
Is Fear Causing You Stress?
David Ropeik, director of risk communication at the Harvard Center for Risk Analysis says "Just the stress of fear is dangerous." Ropeik's rule for taming high anxiety: Be practical, Face…
Are You Wrestling With Grief?
How we wrestle with grief — and ultimately push ahead to a new life — varies among widows. But many of us who need help to bounce back are not getting it, health experts warn, and that…
Ways To Honor Our Loved Ones
There are many ways to honor those that we have loved and lost. Give your grief its voice by expressing your loss. Display photographs. Restore old or tattered pictures. Donate to a worthy…
Cherish the Memories
Here is an great article from Dora Carpenter, CPC - Founder The ANIYA Group Life Coaching Center www.doracarpenter.com Cherish the Memories and Embrace the Future What do you do when you…
Hospice Foundation Resources
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/grief This site from the Hospice Foundation of America provides extensive information about the grieving process, including dozens of articles and useful…
What Is Your "Truth"?
It seems that we are constantly told untruths and need to filter everything we hear. But let’s focus on ourselves instead of others – that’s where it really matters. What do you really…
Average Funeral Costs
The NFDA released its 2013 GPL study and the average bill for a funeral is $7045. This number does not include an outer burial container, cemetery costs, and ancillary cash advances. So if…
Tips For Helping Children
Remember that each of your children is unique and each has a unique relationship to the loss of their loved one. Listen with your heart, not your head Allow all emotions to be expressed,…
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
I finished my course and I'm now a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist Five years ago if you had asked me if I would ever have gone into teaching a Grief Recovery Method I would have said…
Personal Memories
Over the last few years I have reached out to help others and in doing so I have found my own healing. Many people are getting to know me through my blogs and newsletter. I am blessed to…
How to Find Help to Heal
Finding help can be one of the most unsettling aspects of your grief journey. When should I get help? Whom should I call: a psychologist, social worker, counselor or clergy? Where should I…
What Will Your Legacy Be?
When I come across some snippet of information that interests me I copy or cut it out and stick it in a folder where it resides – a reminder of something that I might want to remember in…
International Widows Day
To give special recognition to the situation of widows of all ages and across regions and cultures, the United Nations General Assembly declared 23 June 2011 as the first-ever International…
Grief Poem
One step at a time, One breath at a time, One day at a time, Be gentle with yourself, Give yourself time. Poem by Stuart & Linda MacFarlane
Father's Day For The Grieving
What do you do on the first Father's Day without Dad? As Father’s Day approaches, not everyone is wondering about whether to get Dad a goofy tie or a fishing lure. Many are wondering how…
Recognize Your Value
When Donnie died I was at the lowest point of my life and I didn't value my future. I certainly couldn't see any value I had to give as the children were grown and no longer needed me. Many…
Unresolved Grief
Unresolved grief can leave us feeling angry and guilt-ridden which in turn can jeopardize our mental, physical and spiritual health. Grief is behind much of the nation's obesity,…
Before You Say Yes ...
After your loved one dies there is a mountain of paper work to be filled out. There are decisions about insurance, vehicles, etc. to be made but you are just not sure what to do. Here is a…
What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer Is Limited - It cannot cripple love It cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith It cannot destroy peace It cannot kill friendship It cannot suppress memories It cannot silence…
Listen With Your Heart
Do you often wish that others would really listen to what you have to say? Do you find that when they do listen it is only because they knew that their turn to talk was coming? There isn’t…
Being In The Moment
Most widows don’t want to be in the moment because the current moment holds the pain of grief. They are looking for the future – a future that has softened their grief. But what they don’t…
Children may not show it, but still need time to grieve
Article by: Catherine Johnston And Rebecca Nappi “Children grieve through short spurts and then may return to a normal activity,” said Deborah Hutton, a supervisor for chaplains with…
Love and Loss
The best way to deal with stress is to "feel" it. Many of us think that if we let ourselves experience our feelings, we will shatter. But in my own life and in my time with other widows I…
"A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis
In "A Grief Observed," written by C.S. Lewis after the death of his wife in 1960, he wrote that grief is like fear, and that there existed "a sort of invisible blanket between the world and…
The Buck Stops Here
There are no gender divisions in the life of a widow. You are not completely a wife and/ or one of the bread winners. As a widow “You” are absolutely everything. You can't say 'you do the…
Widows - Negative Stereotypes
Society has some ideas about widows and unfortunately they sometimes see us widows as negative stereotypes. Widows are always mourning. It is disrespectful to the dead for widows to have…
A Widow's First Year
A new widow is immediately plunged into a scary new life. The challenge of being thrown from being part of a couple to being single is daunting. Widows typically look to those around them –…
Grief lumped in with depression
I sometimes wonder if doctors are not a little too quick to medicate for natural grief and I found this article by Gordon Parker, Professor of Psychiaty at University of NSW about the…
Grief is Complicated
I'm reading a book written my a male doctor about widows and their grief. This doctor did a study and stated some facts as follows (in his words) Four out of ten of the widows I studied had…
Sleep Is Important
If you have chronic insomnia that is happening more than a couple of times a week and is negatively impacting your health you may have to get some help. One of the first steps is to keep a…
Acceptance
Acceptance is easier said than done but it is a necessary part of our grief journey. Part of the journey is making wise decisions about how you’re going to live and what you are going to…
Article - writer unknown
Apples... This is as good as it gets!!! A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago .. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty…
We Need Positive People
I enjoy encouraging people to seek out the positive in life by listening to others with the intent to find good about what they are saying or doing. If you tune into the positive, you will…
What to Do With Despair?
"Despair" means loss of hope and it's normal to want to rush in to help. But promising things that cannot be delivered will make you appear less reliable and trusting and when they need you…
Do You Feel Your Confidence Slipping Away?
This is where fear and doubt join forces and you start painting vivid negative pictures in your mind. Most of the things you fear will never happen but it still has the power to rob you of…
You Can Be Happy....No Matter What
I love to pass on great articles from other writers and below is just such an article by Linda Thurwanger -Certified Personal Coach and Workshop Facilitator If you are waiting on someone…
The Personal Price of Caring
Widows pay a heavy price for being their husband’s care giver. The emotional exhaustion of burnout is often accompanied by a deterioration in physical and mental well-being. Widows report…
Poem - "Change"
I would like to share this poem written for the book “The Sisterhood of Widows” CHANGE The winds of change came blowing across your life one day. Little did you know the change about to…
Do You Have a Spirit of Integrity?
If you are living a life of integrity there will be harmony at every level: body, mind and spirit. Spirituality is about the longing of every human for a deeper sense of meaning and purpose…
It's OK To Be Wrong
We need to say “I’m wrong” from our hearts and not just from our lips. That requires a genuine change within ourselves and even when it hurts, we need to realize it’s simply human nature…
Poem - The Oak Tree
This poem was given to me from one of the widows in our group. It's called "The Oak Tree" by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr. The Oak Tree A mighty wind blew night and day. It stole the Oak Tree's…
Do Their Opinions Really Matter?
Often we don't even realize who we are meant to be because we let the opinions of others affect us. We need to hold fast to the thought that other people and their opinions hold only the…
True Friends
After the death of your husband, true friends will be easy to spot. They will stand by you no matter how uncomfortable things are. They don’t have to say a word because they understand your…
Beautiful Lengths
Wigs For Cancer Patients One of the widows in our Chick’s Night Out group was telling us about how you can donate your healthy ponytail for a special woman who is battling cancer. Her…
How To Use Humor
Many people think that there cannot possibly be anything to laugh about when you are grieving. However, they are missing the extremely important function in how humor allows us to vent and…
Older & Wiser
Over the last several years I have read many books on health and one of my favorites is “Older & Wiser” by Richard M. Restak, M.D. Here are a few factors for healthy aging from Richard…
Positive Thinking
A lot of positive people have shared with me over the years and they have been part of my own grief journey. Without positive thinking and positive people in our lives we will find it hard…
How To Use "Law of Attraction"
Did you know that what you give your attention, energy and focus to (whether negative or positive) is what you are attracting into your life? I know that bad things happen like the death of…
How Does Unhappiness Turn Into Depression
For some widows, depression starts as a reaction to the loss of their spouse and the feeling of being trapped by grief. Loss is an unavoidable part of this life and it's an enormous…
Are You Settling for Less?
Think about this - Are You Settling for less than what you really want in life? It's a common saying that "You get what you tolerate in life". If you tolerate less than you want from your…
Do You Want To Live Alone?
At 65 years old, women are three times as likely as their same-age male counterparts to be widowed. And, in contrast to men, older women were twice as likely to live alone. Older widows are…
Widows Need Financial Advisors
Widows want someone they can lean on, like they leaned on their husbands, someone they can trust and someone who will ask them how they're doing. Do they have enough monthly cash to cover…
I Used To Worry
I don't worry like I use to and I think it's because once I was touched by grief I realized nothing is worth worrying about. After all death is the worst and it's come and gone out of my…
A Widow's Valentine's Day
For millions of widows, this year will be their first Valentine’s Day since their Valentine died. For them there is no celebration. There is just grief. We don’t always think about those…
Grief Doesn't Have A Timeline
Here is a good article written by Joan Wickerham. Grief is a lot weirder than we think. It doesn’t follow a logical course or conform to any predictable timetable. Yet we persist in making…
Schedule Some "ME" Time
Schedule some ME time today! What are you doing for “YOU” today? Do something that you love and rarely have time for, something that will rejuvenate your soul. I hope you will be able to…
Joel Osteen Quote
God puts people in our lives on purpose so we can help them succeed and become all He created them to be. Most people will not reach their full potential without somebody else believing in…
Make The Most of Your Time
Questions have the power to instantly change your focus. These simple questions will immediately direct your attention and your thinking toward your top priorities. Just ask yourself these…
Chick’s Night Out – The Journey from Grief to Healing
This month of February 2013 we are having a dress up night. The lady who has the most sparkle and glitter will be crowned winner for the night. These women were strangers with one thing in…
How Are You Doing?
Take time on your grief journey to stand still and shake off the heavy burden you have been carrying. Ask yourself some questions: Do you still think of your husband every day? Do you…
Growing Through Loss
Article by: Dr. Cara Barker There's nothing like loss to cancel your to-do list and plans. There's nothing like grief to erase what you thought was top priority. In the wake of what was, we…
Do You Want To Date Again?
You are a smart and warmhearted woman with lots to give and you are missing the love you used to have before your husband died. You know what it's like to have a life with someone to love…
Real Love
Love isn’t the only thing in your life. Being true to your self is as important as just being a loving person. Why should you have to choose between the best in yourself and the best in…
Grandparenting As a Widow
Grandparenting can change once you become a widow . Baby-Sitting - Your grown children may think that you don’t have a life of your own and so take it for granted that your available to…
Anticipatory Grief Article by Lynne Eldridge MD
Anticipatory grief is a common grief reaction when facing the eventual death of a loved one. Yet, while most people are familiar with the grief that occurs after a death (conventional…
Some Life Truths
The only thing you can control is how you react to things that are out of your control. – The more you adapt to the situations in life, the more you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows…
Happiness With or Without Money
I've met people with every expensive toy that money can buy that are living proof that "money can't buy happiness". On the other hand people in some countries have a lightness of spirit and…
My Sister's Journey
I just read an amazing book "My Sister's Journey" by Barb Parker. It is a great testimonial to love, faith and family. Barb's sister, Debbie, was only forty-nine when she had a brain…
Retail Therapy
When Donnie died I was anything but normal. I was unable to think clearly at work, found socializing painful and used “retail therapy” to ease my pain. If I bought a new outfit or other…
Love Lives On
As a widow the world is new to you and you may be living alone for the first time in years and maybe for the first time in your life. You may be finding out that you can do many things on…
Are You Hard On Yourself?
Often we handle our negative feelings by eating all the time. Then we berate ourselves, saying that we have no will power and no one will love us again. Almost all of our programming, both…
Widows and Love
Widows are standing up for themselves. They care about love but nothing less than the best will do. Widows want a love that is rich and meaningful. For the first time in history we don’t…
How To Manage Debt
Debt Repayment At the end of the day you need to realize that there is no quick fix once you have maxed out your credit cards. Debt consolidation isn’t always as good as it sounds. The fee…
How To Be A Healthy Widow
Widows are no different than anyone else when it comes to the New Year and wanting to get healthy. In fact they probably want it more then most. We have traveled a hard journey and are now…
Contentment
Have you ever known someone who beams with contentment? They are hard to find and very rare. To have deep contentment is like having a buffer of peace always surrounding you. It's not that…
Homeopathic Remedies For Grief
To help get you through your grief, I wanted to share some homeopathic remedies for coping with your daily stress. Information from: Blog 4 Soul by Sima Ash Ignatia Amara - It is helpful…
End Of The Year 2012
My biggest regret is that my husband and I deferred enjoyment until the kids grew up and before that happened he died. We should have reached out for opportunities to have fun and had more…
How Long To Keep Paperwork?
Start the year by cleaning out all your old paper work and starting a new filing system. Now not only will you be able to find things but so will your children if something should happen to…
Notice - Chick's Night Out
Chick's Night Out - First Wednesday of Every Month WELCOME: All widows and ladies who have lost a loved one are welcome. DATE: First Wednesday night of every month TIME: 5:00 pm till 8:00…
How To Make and Keep Goals!
Widows are knocked off balanced when they lose their loved ones, but we must get back into living our life and not just existing. There is no better time to set and achieve goals than at…
Count Our Blessings
Christmas at home It's Christmas Day 2012 and we can settle down to enjoy the day. Let's stop a moment and remember what it's all about. It's about Jesus and the gift of life. Today I'm…
Christmas Without Our Husbands
Christmas without your loved one may tire you out – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Just below the surface of your calm is a tired and angry person that threatens what…
The Lonely Season
There have been times in my life that I have been utterly lonely. This is not a disease or a way to get pity but just a fact. On the other hand, life with friends and family has been a…
Crisis Response
Crisis Response From - Brad Lindell, Ph.D. Chairman of the National Center for Crisis Management and the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress Below are links for useful…
Why do Friends Drift Away?
Unfortunately, about two months after you’ve lost your husband your friends kind of forget about it. They dropped over a lasagna or sent flowers. They may even have taken time off work to…
How To Skip Christmas
Is it “okay to skip Christmas?” Absolutely - There is nothing wrong with taking a break from the holidays, especially when your grief is fresh. A break can mean turning down invitations to…
Grief is Stealing My Sleep
Is your heart overflowing with emptiness and you can’t find peace? Do you ever wake up in the morning and for a split second life feels normal again? Do you huddle on top of the bedspread,…
Get Help From Your Friends
Holidays, for the most part, are times of laughter and celebration. But if you are a widow the holidays can be an especially challenging time. Let friends and family know when you need…
"Widows" Holiday
Going through the first holiday season as a newly widowed lady can be excruciating. Not only do you feel out of sorts because your rituals have been disrupted, but it can be awkward for…
Grieving Through the Holidays
I wish I had a magic wand to make it better but the holiday season won’t go away and we can’t avoid it (even though we would like to). We need to grieve and work through the pain but…
Taking Care Of Your Body
Taking care of your body means different things at different stages of your life. For one thing, accidents are a major cause of death and disability so think twice before any reckless…
Is It Time To Move?
As a widow ages, she may want to remain in her own home because of her memories. But for many, their declining health may make that impossible. Moving from the home you shared with your…
Health Insurance for Widows
Health insurance may be the last thing on your mind but you need to understand your coverage. Many widow find themselves in difficult situations after their husband's death because they…
Diagnostic Screening For Widows
Widows often let their own health slid because they were busy being caregivers to their husbands. Afterwards their grief puts them into a state of non caring but there will come a time when…
Self-Criticizing
Let’s stop wasting time and energy putting ourselves down for something we can’t change. No matter how we approach it, we are dealing with our mental thoughts and thoughts can be changed.…
Moving Forward Through Grief
As I widow I crave a break from the sadness, the draining tears, the comforting words and the hugs. The journey through grief is exhausting and I often needed a rest mentally, emotionally,…
Do Mothers Grieve More Than Fathers?
Men and women respond differently to the loss of a child, says the editor of an acclaimed collection of essays by bereaved parents. Here is a link to an interesting articles about the…
How Can I Help My Friend Grieve?
Widows who grieve often remember that special friend who helped them go from grief to a renewed sense of life. Here are a few tips on how to help your friend grieve: Don't be afraid to…
Growing Through Loss
There is nothing like losing your spouse to erase your to-do list and what you thought was top priority. Their deaths made us set aside the demands of the world. Everyone experiencing grief…
Soldier On - Over Coming Grief
This is a great article that was in my September 2011 newsletter. I had great feedback on it so I’m posting it here for my blog readers to enjoy. Article By Enid Stronach Life can take us…
Estate Planning Without Conflict
The most common problem in estate planning for a widow is the lack of communication between family members. A classic example of conflict is when a parent gives a “less well off” child more…
Stages of Healing - Anger
This is a great article called " A Necessary Stage of Healing" by Jaletta Albright Desmond who is a columnist who lives in North Carolina. "I was mad at her. Mad at God. Mad at the…
Do You Miss Your Husband's Feedback?
There was a grinding noise coming from my back wheels every time I used the brakes. This is when I really miss having Donnie to talk over whether I should let it work itself out or go get…
Are You Afraid To Talk About Death?
Talking about dying is very difficult. I remember when Donnie and I found out that he had cancer. We didn’t talk about his possible death; it was as if we could delay or even elude it if we…
Are You Having Fun?
I know it sounds impossible after the death of your spouse that you will ever have fun again. To even think about laughing or playing without him is just not possible because your grief is…
Climbing Out Of Grief
When we face the death of a loved one we often wonder if we will ever feel "normal" again. Time passes and we often create a bucket list of things we want to do and yet we never seem to get…
A Widow's Lack of Financial Experience
Widows face multiple challenges when it comes to money: In general, they live longer, earn less, and take more breaks from the workforce to care for children, which contributes to lower…
Automatic Review After Death
When someone you love dies an almost automatic review process begins. The widow will remember many events that occurred over the length of her marriage. Some of the events are happy and…
Chick's Night Out For Widows
It all started over a year ago when new widows would call me or they were being referred to me by the Funeral Homes. I was trying to get them all together once a month at a restaurant but…
My Journey of Grief and Healing
We were married for twenty-seven years when Donnie died of cancer at the age of fifty-three. I was fifty and very angry with life. We did everything right, worked hard, saved, brought up…
Widow Advocate
As a widow advocate I work to help widows understand their emotional and personal pain. I come into their life to guide them out of the tangled emotional journey of grief. But I can't do it…
A Widow's Identity
You may think that you know who you are but your identity will change and evolve when you go from being a wife to being a widow. It’s up to you to be aware of these changes so you can use…
Thanksgiving in Canada
Fall in Canada is a beautiful time of the year and the colors are perfect for Thanksgiving Day. I'm often too busy and that is just the way that I handle my life, but recently I had a wake…
Our Grief Causes Sickness
Our emotions are heightened when we are grieving and that creates alot of stress on the body. There have been several studies that show that grievers have a higher rate of visits to doctors…
A Widow needs to focus on the positive
As a widow it’s not where I am but where I’m going that counts. When I went from being a wife to being a widow I had to define myself and get rebalanced. I didn’t know where I fit in. My…
Widows do you need to change your thinking?
Some tips to help widows handle their grief and the people in their lives. Listen to everyone with an open mind and let their comments flow like water off your back. Don't get caught up in…
Widows - Dating with Kids
Here is a great article about dating and remarrying. A widow from New Hampshire had written to Dear Abby about getting married again and how her children don’t want her to. In this article…
Getting Up When You're Feeling Down
Well, it's that time of year again, when holidays are starting and everyone is talking about being thankful and grateful. The holiday season starts with Thanksgiving Day and goes through…
What is your experience with "grief"?
I found that it shakes you to the core. It shocks you literally out of your body and it creates such turmoil of emotions that that you feel like you are in the eye of a hurricane. I had…
Are you a Widow that can Change?
When it is necessary, the widow changes, accepting change is part of her grief process, not ignoring or battling it. She can focus on balance and improvement without sacrificing her…
Widows - Are We Kidding Ourselves?
A healing widow does not kid herself. She knows that she runs the risk of depression and she forces herself to face reality on a daily basis. She takes time to evaluate her life in the…
What to Avoid Saying to a Grieving Widow
It's important to know what to avoid saying to a grieving widow. It can be nerve-wracking trying to say the “right thing” but many times the very things they think will comfort us will only…
Widows and Their Comfort Zones
The infamous "comfort zone." Ever notice that in life, the greatest breakthroughs and defining moments almost always came right after we did something very uncomfortable, out of the…
Grieving can be a lonely process.
Grieving can be a lonely process. Dealing with deep personal loss can leave people feeling alone, afraid, and not knowing where to turn. The Sisterhood of Widows offers grief support and…
Why are we so quick to criticize?
It seems that people at funerals are always on high stress and are super sensitive. If you go to a funeral and something is not quite right you need to cut the widow some slack. The funeral…
Get Support From Your Doctor
I love this article because it shows not only the pain, but also the healing the family gets from sharing their memories with their family doctor.…
Are you a Healing Widow or not?
The widows of the twenty-first century make goals and are motivated to create new lives for themselves. They dare to seek balance and travel a journey from grief to healing. They want to…
Five Years as a Widow
As I begin to take stock of my life and make new and different choices I feel some peace of mind. I perceive this stage of my journey as a period of reflection and I discovered the wisdom…
Volunteer Work Helps Widows To Heal
Widows that give of themselves for community or those in heed triple their chances of having a life of joy rather than despair. What is important is the things you do outside of what you…
Action Aid Report on Widows being Accused of Witchcraft
Widows have it hard all over the world and we sometimes forget just how fortunate we are to live in North America. Here widows have lawful rights and society as a whole treats them with…
Watch for the Wolves: Financial Advice For Widows
Widows need to educate themselves as to their financial situation and not be afraid to ask questions. Watch for the wolves: Financial advice for widows All widows (widowers, too) should…
Widows Giving Up
Sometimes when we lose our loved ones our grief is so intense and we are so lonely we just want to give up. Below is a message from one widow: “I knew things were bad when I realized that I…
A Widow's Finance Situation
Some questions about finances: 1. If you don't fully understand what your financial adviser is saying to you, make them slow down and explain it to you in another form until you do…
How Optimistic Are You...Really? By Jayne Warrilow
There are times when I find a great article that I think will help widows to get re-balanced and this is one of those articles. Read it and score yourself - just how optimistic are you?…
From "Wife" to "Widow"
As important as the role of “wife” is, you matter as a person and are defined by being more than a “wife”. I know that redefining ourselves is harder than it sounds. I was a “wife” for…
A Child's Grief After Suicide
It is essential that widows talk to their children when their loved ones die from suicide. Without a doubt talking to them will be one of the most difficult tasks you face but it is…
Resource - Stunned By Grief Blog
I found this great blog on positive energy for moving through our grief as widows. I don't know Judy Brizendine and I'm not affiliated with me but her works is good. I believe that we…
Goal Steps for Widows
Goals help us to move forward because they give us something to work towards. Having goals means that we are not struck in the past. Goals are us claiming our future and taking control of…
Jennifer - A Widow's Story
Mary I read the advice on your website and it was helpful. I came across your website because I was browsing at the widow and widowers meet dot com dating website. I lost my husband Mark De…
Widows - Be Yourself
We mustn't allow anyone to minimize our feelings. When this happens, stop and say "let me tell you how it's affecting me" and educate them to your feelings. Name and claim the value of your…
Widows and Pet Therapy
Pets can make a difference in the lives of widows by offering them unconditional love and something to think about besides their grief. Psychiatrist, Dr. Ramsay says that therapy animals…
Widows and their Attitude
I've been thinking about the lives of widows I have encountered in my life. I have met so many widows these past few years and I really wanted to know what allowed some widows to achieve a…
Smart Widows - Ask Questions
You don’t have to accept whatever life hands you without asking questions and planning for your future. Ask yourself the following questions: What changes do I have to make for my life to…
Widows -10 Financial Mistakes
Becoming an investor before you know your net worth. Buying an investment you don’t understand. Trying to time the market. Putting off saving for retirement. Playing with money you can’t…
Widows and Ways To Change Your Focus
Make a list of ways that can change your focus and your thinking into a more positive frame of mind. I love playing music and reading is another way to make myself feel good. It changes my…
Widows and Helplessness
Nothing can be more crippling to a widow's ability to heal than learned helplessness. It prevents us from changing our lives in a positive way. Widows can control how they think, feel and…
Widows - Words are Powerful
Widows have to work to get re-balanced after the death of their loved ones and one of the best things is to talk more positively to ourselves. Words are powerful and they can make us feel…
Travelling as a Widow - Nackawic
[caption id="attachment_4116" align="aligncenter" width="150" caption="Home of the World's Largest Axe"] [/caption] I'm travelling on the road alot these days and sometimes I drive by a…
Questions That Empower You
As widows we need all the positive energy we can get to help us on our grief journey. I just finished reading the book "Awaken The Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins and he talks about…
Widows and their Funeral Stories
Widow stories about funerals from the book "The Sisterhood of Widows". There is no "sacred cow" when it comes to funerals and more people are adding their own special and personal touches…
Widowed - A Financial To-Do List
Losing your spouse is the # 1 life changing event in a widows life. You're not thinking clearly (even if you think you are) and yet you're expected to make financial decisions that will…
Widows - The "Living Dead"
As our world spins further out of control, we reach for anything solid to hold onto. At this stage of our grief we may feel betrayed by our parent, sibling or friend because we look to them…
A Widow and her Journal
Are you writing out your thoughts, feelings and fears? If not, I urge you to get a journal or spiral notebook and begin. Put in the date and write whatever enters your mind. You may be…
Widows in Denial
Ruth in chapter five of the book “The Sisterhood of Widows” couldn’t really believe her husband was dead as per this paragraph: “When we were leaving the funeral parlor I asked, “Where’s…
Encouraging Widows to Dream
What I’ve discovered is that a lot of widows have misconceptions about what they want. I want to help prepare you for a new future so that you can have something to look forward to. Do you…
A Widow's Capacity to Keep Going
As widows we need to learn to take satisfaction in the small steps we take towards healing. The most content widows I know take joy where they can find it. Having something to look forward…
Widow Get Togethers
This month at "Chicks Night Out" we had a scavenger hunt after our potluck supper. We had a huge list of things within a ten mile range that we had to either bring back or take a picture…
Annual WCESS Conference
The 2nd Annual WCESS Conference, 'Tools for the "New Normal" Journey', October 26-28, 2012, held in Tempe, Arizona, for anyone whose spouse or partner has died. It is designed for any widow…
The Creative Caregiver
The Creative Caregiver... ideas for creating a successful journey By Joyce Marie Sheldon BE A COMMUNICATOR Learn to listen. Learn to speak clearly, with honesty and kindness. Put yourself…
Share Your Loss With Your Children
When you have young children at home, your grief is twice as hard. Your children will express their feelings in different ways, depending on age and maturity. They may act out their grief…
Widow Audio Book - Chapter One
Please listen and enjoy Chapter One of the book "The Sisterhood of Widows"– read by a Professional Reader https://sisterhoodofwidows.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Ch001AudioBook.mp3
There Are Miracles Everywhere
The below article was from Tam Veilleux and has been trimmed to fit my blog. I walked into the gift shop of the garden center I work at and found two older ladies and a group of three young…
Widows and Signs from Their Husbands
As widows we seem to be more in touch with our senses and therefore more open to seeing the signs that a late husband may send to comfort us. I believe that our husbands are out there…
Denial Can Compound a Widow's Problems
Widows may slip into denial when their lives take a different path and they are on their own again. One major denial is that we are on our own and that we will sometimes need help. We…
Are You a Shopaholic?
Widows shop for a lot of reasons but mainly they do it to relieve stress and because they are lost. Shopping can bring you temporary comfort but it can also be a dangerous habit. Lots of…
Widows - Life Is Never the Same Again
As I think back in time my earliest recollection of death was that of my grandfather. Children have a strange understanding of life and death that often leaves them with a bewildered…
Widows Need To Get Out
A widow can find it hard to get out on her own after years of being part of a couple. They don't know what they would enjoy doing in their community and so often just stay home. Below is…
Widows Have Many Hidden Talents
When Donnie died I was what I would call a “normal” married woman with a husband, grown children and a job. I had never thought of writing a book, speaking in front of groups or in any way…
To Date or Not To Date
A few months ago I took off my wedding rings and set forth to dangle my toes in the dating pool. I had dinner out with one man and an evening out with another. One man was younger than me…
Widows have clarity with the passing of time
Too many widows think that after some time has passed everything will settle back down to a normal life. That’s a myth because you are not the same woman you were and you can’t turn back…
Most Widows have a Gut Instinct
Follow your gut instinct for what you want and for what’s best for you. There is a lot of stuff going on after the death of your spouse, but you know what feels right. You know that…
Death of Spouse is rated as the Highest Stress Event in Life
This doesn’t come as a surprise to those that have lost their spouse. The rating is based on the fact that nothing causes more of a "life change" than the death of your spouse. The "life…
Living a Creative Life as a Widow
I listen to widows of all ages and walks of life and so often I hear them criticize themselves and belittle their efforts to do anything new and creative. This bad habit stops them from…
Widows Need To Be Creative
You don’t need some special talent to be an artist. The truth is we don’t need anything but ourselves. You may think that you don’t have a creative bone in your body or that you can’t even…
Mother's Day As A Widow
Mother’s Day is a perfect time for our children to stop and acknowledge us as mothers. My son and daughter both stopped in for a visit bearing gifts and cards. They love me and appreciate…
Widows and Their Wedding Rings
Widows and their wedding rings - A year ago I thought about taking my rings off but I just was not ready. It was almost four years but it didn’t feel right to me. More time has passed and…
A Widow's Resource Site
Our new updated website www.sisterhoodofwidows.com is online today and it makes us one of the very best resource sites for widows. The home page has over three hundred blogs grouped in…
A Widow’s Destiny
I just got back from watching a movie with some friends. The movie is called “The Lucky One” and it’s about this soldier who has done three tours of duty. Many of his friends did not make…
Widow's "Chicks Night Out" Group
I’ve been working out of Fredericton which means driving over an hour each way plus it’s a different work environment. On the long drive home I was tired and discouraged but I didn’t want…
As Widows We Need To Learn To Laugh Again
How long has it been since you did something really silly? On purpose, I mean :-) One way to have more laughs is to do something that’s just plain outrageous, to have some goofy fun. One…
NBAEAP and Widows as Employees
I spoke at the New Brunswick Association of Employee Assistance Program Spring Conference today. I really enjoy talking to companies about the stress their employees have both before and…
Widows and Their Women Friends
Females have always needed other females to socialize with and it starts before we even begin school. There is something powerful about the connection women have with each other that is…
Smet Monuments and Widows
I want to thank Steve Spires of Smet Monuments for having me as a speaker at his annual sales convention. I drove down to St. Stephen on Saturday and as usual I’m all keyed up and nervous…
Widows – Do you ever consider giving up?
You will experience setbacks– everyone does. The best way to look at setbacks is to see them as challenges and a natural part of your journey. Challenges do not have to stop you in your…
Widow – A Vision for the Future
Do you wonder how long you are going to live? I was very surprised about how often I thought of that after Donnie died. I was only fifty and yet I realized that I was more than half way…
CBS Dating Show
I’m passing this message on, so if you are interested in being on a CBS dating show they are looking for a widow. You can go online and register as per the information below. Good Luck…
Get a Grip on the Paper Work
Often in the earliest stages of grief we have to deal with a lot of paper work. Contact the professionals and ask for clarification for everything that you are not sure of. In fact, I…
Grief Will Emotionally Drain You
When widows are emotionally drained not sleeping is a frequent problem. They have trouble going to sleep without using some kind of drug or alcohol. Then they wake up early and can’t get…
Do You Feel Empty Inside?
A grieving widow has an empty feeling in her gut; and she may expect friends to help fill it. You need to express your feelings of grief, but it’s a fine line because if you are continually…
The Many Faces of Grief
When we lose a loved one there is the obvious loss of that person and we grieve for them. There are, however, other losses: Your future as part of a couple The role of a wife and lover The…
Where Does All The Widow's Time Go?
Do you sometimes feel like you have no choice about how you use your time? We all have choices but some may be difficult and so we make no choice at all. But don’t confuse tough choices…
How Do You Give Bad News To A Widow?
Often it’s not the bad news that makes someone angry but the unsympathetic attitude with which it is delivered. Everyone has at one time or another given bad news and received bad news. Do…
Funeral Home Support
Sherwood's Funeral Home, Norton, New Brunswick, Canada, is a family owned and operated independent funeral business that has been serving families for over 90 years. They strive to provide…
The Law of Attraction
I just came from the Law of Attraction Seminar by Michael Losier. I would recommend that you get his books if you are in any way interested in attracting more positive things into your…
Are You Writing Notes Of Gratitude?
Every week we receive e-mails, text messages and lots of junk mail but rarely do we get a handwritten note. Feeling appreciated is one of the strongest of human desires and it’s so easy to…
Are Widows and Their Money Soon Parted?
Most of us know by now that money doesn’t bring happiness but the truth is that the lack of money can bring plenty of pain. I’m not talking about money to buy a fancy car or a vacation home…
Scramble Therapy by Leil Lowndes
Leil Lowndes is the author of several books and she talks about “scramble therapy”. It is quite simply scrambling up your life and trying different activities that you would never think of…
Do You Feel Guilty and It's Holding You Back?
It’s normal to feel some guilt because a sense of guilt is helpful in making decisions and deterring you from doing harm to either yourself or others. The perfect balance of just enough…
A Widows Checklist - How Are You Doing?
Please answer these questions honestly and consider how far you have come in your grief journey: • I have given myself permission to grieve when I need to. • I am expressing my grief and…
A Widows Grief Process
Take a close look at the emotions listed and understand that you may feel some or all of them. These are all normal and healthy symptoms of the grief process and should be acknowledged.…
Part Twelve - Widows and Self-Care
This is the last part so I’m going to just highlight a couple of important points. There are many different ways to use your journal. Write your past, present and future vision. Write about…
Part Eleven - Widows and Self-Care
Our culture values thinking with our heads based on our experiences, knowledge and education. But to honor our self-care we have to get in touch with our feelings. Maybe the most sensible…
Part Ten - Widows and Self-Care
It is a lot easier to share with others when you have lots but as a widow you may be low on finances and energy. Instead of holding back this is the time to reach out to others who are less…
Part Nine - Widows and Self-Care
For some a spiritual life is a religious role within a church community and for others it is a sense of peace that comes from spending time in nature, meditation or different spiritual…
Part Eight - Widows and Self-Care
Most widows struggle to experience even a little fun and adventure in their lives. Fun is a necessary part of self-care and has a positive impact on your health and well-being. Building fun…
Part Seven - Widows and Self-Care
You need to share your life with people who care about you because relationships are an important part of your self-care. They shape who you are and add meaning to your life. We all need to…
Part Six - Widows and Self-Care
It’s easy not to pay attention to our emotional and physical health when we are grieving, until there is a problem - but then it may be too late to fix it. We need to take care of ourselves…
Part Five - Widows and Self-Care
You have written your life story up to this point in time. Now, you need to take a closer look at how you are living your life at this present moment. Life is made up of many parts and no…
Part Four - Widows and Self-Care
Ok – Now it gets a little bit harder. I want you to take your journal out and write your life story. This is a very powerful exercise of learning who you are as a person and where you came…
Part Three - Widows and Self-Care
The very first thing I want you to do is get yourself a journal or notebook. Make sure that you love its size, color and design so that you will feel comfortable putting your most precious…
Part Two - Widows and Self-Care
This may sound completely opposite to what you have always heard but I think self-care begins with learning to be selfish. The word “selfish” has a negative feel to it but when you put…
Part One - Widows and Self-Care
For the next two weeks I’m going to do a series of articles on self-care just for Widows. My focus is to help you put your self-care above anything else – to say no when necessary , to…
How Do You Know When You Need Help?
The stress of losing your husband can lead to a lot of emotional problems that can interfere with your daily living. Before I go any further, I’m not talking about grief which is a healthy…
Widows have freedom of choice
You are free to choose happiness and to lead a productive life. You may choose to stay single or to enter into another relationship. But more importantly: the freedom to be ourselves must…
Widows and Dating
How many times have you thought to yourself: I don’t want to “work” at a new relationship, I want it to be the fun part of my life. And how many times has a nagging voice in your head…
Self Acceptance as a Widow
Being a widow is a name for this stage of your life but it does not define who you are as a person. Part of your grief journey is also a journey in finding out who you are when you are no…
A Widows Clutter
Having a lot of things stuffed in boxes in the garage and closets will create negative energy in our lives. Eliminating the clutter will free us of always thinking about it and just doing…
Mental Health For Widows
Our health is affected in every way when we lose our loved ones. At first the grief affects us mentally as it drains our joy and changes our relationships. It isn't long before our physical…
Finding Support After a Death
Grief is so much easier when it’s shared with others, so don’t grieve alone. Being able to express your feelings will help lighten the burden of grief. Turn to friends and family members.…
Regrets When Dying
People change when they are faced with their own mortality. They experience a variety of emotions as they seek peace with their life and their death. There seems to be a common theme to the…
Valentine's Day as a Widow
Often we respond to the pain in our lives by instinctively shutting it out of our mind. Denial is a form of disengagement but although it numbs the pain, it also delays our healing. Facing…
A Widows Friends
I often talk about negative emotions and the need to get out with our friends. Today is a perfect example of way this is so important. It was a beautiful winter day but all I wanted to do…
Negative Emotions
Negative emotions are costly and inefficient. There was a study done of 678 aging Nuns in the School Sisters of Notre Dame Congregation. Nuns whose writing expressed a preponderance of…
Friends Help Widow Friends
I can not begin to tell you how important it is to get out of the house. After your husband dies life is just bleak and there is no joy. It is too easy to hide within yourself and not…
Stages Of Grief - Sexuality
O.K. – here it is, I’m going to talk about sex, that forbidden topic that no one wants to bring up. What do you think of when the word sex is mentioned? Most of us tend to be interested,…
Stages Of Grief - Healthy Relationships
Often after our spouse has died, we go looking for another relationship – one that appears to have everything that the previous one had. Because this new relationship appears to solve all…
Lack of Sleep
Sleeping is one of the most important sources of recovery in our lives. Even small amounts of lost sleep can have an impact on strength, moods, energy level and concentration. We need about…
What do you miss the most?
I miss having him home when I came home. The house seems so empty without his presence. I miss having him tease me out of my bad mood. Things never seemed so bad when I had him to balance…
Plan Ahead
The first time I went out to a movie without Donnie it was with a group of friends. It didn’t feel right and I couldn’t wait to get back home. I had thought, “ It will do me good to get…
Homeless Doesn't Mean Heartless
I want to start this blog with some interesting stats: 2.3 to 3.5 million people will be homeless at some point this year. 750,000 people will end up sleeping on the streets. 30% of the…
Show Your Smile
Do you know that a smiling person is judged to be more pleasant, attractive, sincere, sociable and competent. Wow! You get all that and it doesn’t cost you a single penny. On top of how…
Make the Home Yours
Your home was a home that was shared with your spouse and how you may not feel at home in your own house. Do you dread facing the empty house when you come home? Slowly and carefully you…
Principles To Live By
People are not born successful. They work hard and are focused and persistent. Mistakes must be made, new solutions discovered and difficult situations endured. Be active and involved in…
Moving Through Grief
Be kind to yourself. Sleep in if you need to and listen to your inner voice because you are the one who knows best how to take care of yourself. Curl up in your fuzzy robe and just relax.…
We All Need To Be Valued
One of things I miss is having a husband that loved and valued me. Love in a marriage is often expected but being valued as a person comes with the maturity of the relationship. I'm still…
Assume Control
When your loved one died you had no choice because you were not in a position of control. Tears flow and again you are not in control. Others around you take over and although they are…
Trust - It doesn't come easy!
You may have a painful love wound resulting from the ending of the love relationship with your spouse and this love wound may prevent you from loving again. It's hard to trust and get into…
Could Somebody Really Love Me?
The typical widow wonders, “Can I find love again?” When you lose your spouse you often re-examine what love really is. You may feel unlovable and even be afraid that you will never be in…
Do You Postpone Decisions?
It is often easier to postpone making a decision than to make a decision that you are not sure of. You can feel overwhelmed after your spouse dies and fear making a decision you will…
The Sisterhood of Widows Reorganization
The Sisterhood of Widows is going through an reorganization because it has outgrown its “one book” website. I am so thankful that The Sisterhood of Widows filled the needs of so many…
Have You Been Hiding Behind A Mask?
A mask is an image that you project so that others believe that is who you are. But it stops others from really knowing how your feeling and may even keep you from knowing yourself. You may…
Chick's Night Out
It was another great night out with the ladies. We had some sharing time about how we all survived the holidays - had a great lunch with some recipes exchanging and our usual good times.…
Essential Oils
Come visit my website and learn about how Essential Oils can help you feel better both mentally and physically.
Surviving Widowhood
To "survive" as per the dictionary means "to live after the death of another person; to continue, endure; to come through alive". I think that surviving widowhood is more than just "coming…
Another Christmas As A Widow
It's just a few days from Christmas and I'm enjoying my Christmas tree. I wasn't planning on putting up a tree - after all its just me and it seemed like alot of work. But my daughter…
Lighting Of The Memorial Christmas Tree
I went to the Christmas Memorial Service at Brenan's Funeral Home tonight. It was the first time I went and I just felt that I needed to be there. The joyous holiday season can be somewhat…
Our Shared Journey - December 2011 Newsletter
Please check out Our Shared Journey Newsletter for December 2011. http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Holiday-Season-2011.html?soid=1104263796779&aid=_fSoLR0icz4
Prayer In The Air Interview
Prayer In The Air Interview Interview with Paul Beran, Executive Producer of - Prayer In The Air http://www.prayerintheair.net/
CAA magazine article
Click here to check out the CAA magazine for my article on page 11.
CAA Magazine November 2011
Check out your November 2011 CAA magazine. I have a great article in it about the value of booking your trips through CAA instead of online. When Donnie and I booked our cruise in the…
Transition - Stages Of Grief
I wanted to understand why my husband died so young, at the age of only fifty-three. I wanted to figure out why it happened, so I could move on. Transition is the beginning of realizing…
Self Worth As A Widow
Your feelings of self-worth and self-esteem will greatly affect how well you will find your path. Low self-esteem and loss of identity are common after the loss of a spouse. You have…
Letting Go – Stages of Grief
It’s tough to let go of the strong emotional ties which remain after the death of a loved one. Nevertheless, it is important to stop investing emotionally into what you cannot change.…
Peace, Balance and Enjoyment
No matter what responsibilities you may have, you can find peace, balance and enjoyment in every area of your life, but it all starts with you. You have more power inside of you than you…
Instant Gratification
Nowadays, we all want instant gratification and don't have patience. We want everything to happen this instant and we don't always understand the value of patience, of being ready when the…
Nov 2011 - Chicks Night Out
I love the monthly get together of ladies. I don't think I will ever grow tired of meeting new friends and sharing time with everyone. Tonight I meet three ladies that are grieving the loss…
Anger - Stages Of Grief
Grieving is an important part of your recovery journey. But we might also go through a lot of anger as we grieve our loss. Most widowed people are not aware that they are capable of such…
Old Friends - Stages Of Grief
As you've discovered grief is quite painful and you need your friends more then ever. Unfortunately, many couple friends are lost when you are no longer part of a couple. Your old couple…
Loneliness - Stages of Grief
When you lose your loved one, the feelings of loneliness are the strongest that you will probably ever know. Many of your daily living habits will be altered now that your loved one is…
Fear - Stages Of Grief
Have you ever been lost? That feeling of not knowing how to find your way feels life threatening and can make you fearful. It can be so overwhelming that you want to hide from your fear by…
In Tribute To A Young Friend by Harriet Cabelly
Today was the fifth anniversary of the death of an 18 year old girl. Aviva was my daughter’s college roommate overseas. She was memorialized today with a brunch service that included moving…
7 Steps To Inner Peace by Joyce Sheldon
It was my husband’s dream to retire to Florida, live on the water and have a boat. After raising seven children (3 of mine, 4 of his), this was a dream worth following. Two months after our…
Widowed.ca
I have a great article posted in the website for widowed.ca that offers lots of tips and advice for those who have lost a loved one. How To Get Rebalanced - Article: How To Get Rebalanced I…
Denial - Stages Of Grief
Denial as in "I can't believe this is happening" can be a safety mechanism for when our pain is overwhelming us. By putting our pain into "denial" we give ourselves some time to digest what…
Grief Journey
One of the most important skills we will ever learn is how to adjust to a crisis in our lives. There will be more crises in our future and learning how to handle the pain will help shorten…
What Is Healing?
How does a person define "Healing"? It can mean different things at different times in our lives. I think it is an ongoing process, a journey that has no real end. Healing has a crooked…
Are You Hurting?
Go ahead, acknowledge that you're hurting. It's natural, expected and even healthy to feel the pain so you can eventually heal. Can I help you? Well, I can at least share with you some of…
Relationships When Grieving
One of the things you should always ask yourself in any relationship is "What is it costing me?" Is the relationship one of sharing or is it more one sided? Do you walk away feeling…
San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge
On my bucket list was a visit to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and I was able to cross it off my bucket list this month. Take the time to make your own bucket list so you can have…
How To Help Someone Who Is Depressed
If you think someone has a case of depression, it's helpful to know what to look for: Lack of interest in personal appearance. One of the most obvious signs of depression in older adults is…
Depression - Know The Signs
Is it really grief depression or just a bad day? It's not always easy to tell the difference, especially when there seems like a good reason to be depressed, such as a chronic illness or…
Myth #3: If you don’t cry now, it’ll be worse later
Some people never cry. Tears or outward expressions of anguish simply aren’t everyone’s grieving style, says psychologist Neimeyer. This doesn’t mean they’re grieving less then someone who…
Myth #2: Grief disappears slowly but steadily.
Most people never stop grieving a death; they learn to live with it. Grief is a response, not a straight line with an endpoint Ignore oft-quoted rules and opinions that predict how long…
Myth #1: It’s possible to cry too much.
Everyone grieves differently. There’s no single correct way to express the pain, sorrow, emptiness, and other parts of the transition need to learn to live on your own again. Intense…
Hugging, the perfect cure for what ails you.
No movable parts, no batteries required, no periodic checkups Low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation proof No monthly payments, no insurance requirements Theft proof, non…
I Was Widowed at Age 44
By Lynn Kelly I was widowed at the age of 44 on October 10, 2002. My husband, David was also 44 at the time of his death. I stumbled upon your name while surfing the internet one evening…
Having A Bad Day?
Bad days - we all have them. One day everything is fine and the next everything looks grey and sad. The good news is that pain, while soul-crushing, is manageable. The pain can steal my…
Death, Support and Bereavement
Admitting what we feel is the beginning of moving forward and being able to make changes to our new life. My support came from other widows who had traveled the grief journey before me.…
Depression
I've been working hard so all I could think about was having a lazy Saturday all to myself. I was going to sleep in, do a little housework, read and relax. No plans to go anywhere or do…
Learning A New Skill
One of the fastest ways to learn new skills permanently is to share them with other people as soon as you learn them. Each time you come across a good idea in a book, take a few moments to…
As A Widow, Are You A Follower?
When you have lost a loved one it's easy to fall into a pattern of allowing yourself to drift along by taking a submissive role in life. But what happens is that you end up being a follower…
Giving Advice
When a friend or family member is having a difficult time should you listen or should you give advice? I think that our role is to be supportive and to listen to them as they talk out their…
A Widows Inner Strength
To the outside world, strength is power - to influence others or beat your opposition. But then there's inner strength, resilience, moral fiber - all of which help us to stand up for what…
Start Every Day Positive
You just have to hang in no matter what is happening around you. First, get up every morning a little earlier to sit quietly and think about your plans for the day. You become what you…
A Widows Emotional Fatigue
Don't be surprised if you are emotionally drained after the death of your loved one. Your body is taking enormous amounts of energy just to fight your stress. Lack of sleep - fatigue and…
Bitterness and Resentment
When you lose someone you love, you may feel bitter about them "going before their time". It's easy to resent others that are describing their difficulties with their spouse, child or…
Don't Wait Till The Last Minute
Putting off meaningful conversations may be your number one regret after your loved one has died. It is impossible to predict the final hour so don't wait until the right moment. They need…
Eulogy
Giving a eulogy isn't easy, but it's something you will never regret doing because it's your chance to celebrate the person - and to say goodbye. Of course you'll be nervous but people are…
29,200 Days of Living
If you live to be 80 years old you will have lived 29,200 days. Every one of us who lives till 80, even the most successful people you know, have exactly the same amount of time. Many of us…
The Karuna Project
September newsletter has a great article from The Karuna Project written by Claudia Coenen. The second article is from a widow who tells her story in "Soldier on - Overcoming Grief" by Enid…
After A Few Years ---- What Then?
When dealing with a death of a loved one you focus exclusively on the loss. You can not even imagine that other events may occur in the wake of or even because of that loss. When you think…
Grief Insights
I want to share some insights I have learned concerning bereavement: Grieving people are best helped by those that have also lost a loved one. The process of grieving begins the day that…
Honor Our Seniors
I had a lovely walk with my Aunt today. She had been in the hospital and it was great having her home. As we walked she told me that church has not been her mainstay lately. She has gotten…
Don't Waste The Pain
In a curious way that phrase can result in calming your mind and spirit. Don't waste the pain - is a profound insight that pain was not given to be merely miserable with but to learn from…
Old Patterns
When someone you love dies the old patterns, dreams and rules that your life was built around are no longer the same. You are faced with a new beginning. I want to encourage you to move on…
Simple Acts Of Kindness
By doing simple acts of kindness for others, we can't help but lift ourselves up. The challenge is that our own lives can be so overwhelming that it is easy to forget that others also have…
Four Things Happy People Do
1. They analyze their life even though it isn’t easy and may require questioning some of their long held assumptions. Small changes can be enough to see significant improvement in…
Your Grief Journey
When you lose someone you love you go on a journey of grief. At first your unbalanced and stumble along. You may even fall as the path is uneven, dark and unknown to you. As time passes you…
Does Flaxseed help prevent cancer?
Lately I've been thinking about my health and how cancer can sneak up on anyone, even me. Flaxseed delivers a concentrated dose of fiber, has generous amounts of potassium, magnesium,…
Hundreds of Comments
Thank you, everyone for your comments on my blog. There are hundreds to be replied to and many ask the same question - Can I use part of your article in my own blog / newsletter / article?…
New Products Coming This Fall
In the Fall I will have more then 12 new products available: Downloadable mp3/ CD's of interviews with individual widows. Downloadable mp3/CD called "The First Year" Downloadable mp3/CD…
Life Is Forever Changed
After the death of a loved one, life is forever changed. You are now a single in a couple’s world. There is nothing worse than having to leave a gathering of friends to go home alone to an…
Learning To Honor Each Day
Learning to honor each day with a humble spirit can be a challenge. Where does it come from, this human urge for “more” and “more”. As we seek things we lose the little perfections of our…
Have you planned your life or are you just letting it happen?
Write out 3 goals for the next 6 months. Break each goal into small steps. At night plan your steps for the next day. Never let a day go by without doing something positive to move you…
Helen Keller - 1880 to 1968
Helen was both blind and deaf. She was an inspiration to everyone and believed in the following: 1. Don't let obstacles stop you. 2. Don't let others tell you what you can't do. 3. Have a…
Harriet Beecher Stowe - 1811 to 1896
Harriet wrote the famous book "Uncle Tom's Cabin". She believed in the following: 1. Develop faith in God. 2. Realize that out of tragedy can come triumphs. 3. Choose a partner who brings…
Amelia Earhart - 1897 to 1937
Amelia was a famous woman aviator who was lost at sea. She was a woman following her passion and believed in the following: 1. Don't allow others to define you. 2. Set clear-cut goals 3. Do…
Self Confidence
If you don’t truly believe you’re capable of achieving what you want, your chances for success are limited. On the other hand, if you truly believe you CAN do it, nothing will stop you.…
August 2011 Newsletter
I wrote an article about FuneralResources.com and the 3 Guides they give away for free. Thanks to Judy Herzog-Chmiefarz for her article "Insist On Your Dreams" and Gala Reitz for her…
iPhone4 Update
It's been 4 days and I've made great progress on my new iPhone4. I did get a teenager to match it to my car radio so I can talk without the phone. Plus I got some help with setting up my…
iPhone 4
I purchased the iPhone 4 today. It looked so easy when the kids use it but I'm already lost. I can't get the wireless to work, can't do emails and the serial # is so small I'm not sure I'm…
Well-Meaning Friends
Sometimes well-meaning friends stand by and attempt to comfort by saying things like: " At least he didn't suffer" or "Trust in God". These comments are meant to comfort you, but they are…
Do You Get Discouraged?
Discouraging feelings keep you thinking about what you can't do instead of what you can do. They stop you from doing anything except feeling sorry for yourself. Stop and think - You don't…
Latin Line Dancing
Dancing keeps you physical fit and also offers protection against dementia, plus it's lots of fun. What else will help you make split-second decisions, has stress reduction benefits and…
When should I take off my wedding ring?
How long does a person wear their wedding ring after their spouse has died? Some take it off in the second year and some never take it off. Perhaps one of the decision makers is if you want…
A Great Book
There is one sure way to know if a book is a good read and that is if you pass it on to your friends when your done with it. Thank you, Paula, at McKenzie Funeral Chapel in Portage La…
Loving Again
The fear of loving and losing another partner may prevent some from loving again. It can take time to risk being hurt and emotionally tied to another person again. Take your time with a new…
Faith
As you go through your grief process you may notice that churches can be very family oriented. It's hard to watch other women with their husbands and so you may stop going. But this can…
Alone Time
Tips to get you to the point in your journey where you enjoy some healthy alone time: 1. Take some time for yourself before the day to day demands of life get you down. 2. Spend time with…
Are you a "Busyholic"?
Your emotions swing like a pendulum, from one extreme to another. Looking for ways to avoid this loneliness, you may become a "busyholic", never stopping. That way your grief can't catch up…
RBC,Royal Bank and Louise Thank You
There are times in your life when someone goes out of their way to help you. I want to thank Louise Romikat at RBC-Royal Bank at Lansdowne, Saint John 506-632-0780. Louise has supported my…
Another Step Forward
This past weekend I cleaned out the storage shed at the cottage. For almost four years Donnie's golf clubs and chain saw have been stored in that shed. It isn't like I'm ever going to use…
Friendships
Friendship is about reciprocal cherishing. To be a good friend you need to be able to receive loving care as well as give it. The essence of friendship is having a friend to work through…
Have Faith
It doesn’t have to be a religious thing, but when you’re all alone you need something to hold onto. Because you don’t see God, you have to believe by faith. Sometimes when life kicks you to…
A Well-Lived Life
Some of the great ladies in my life are stressing themselves sick that they aren't doing enough with their lives. Isn't it crazy that the women who worry about this the most are usually the…
Katherine Mansfield
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy: you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." Quote from Katherine…
With God's Helping Hand
God did bring me through it better than I ever thought possible. If I didn't have faith and God it would have been so much harder to bear. Our husbands are no longer in pain and they are…
Quiet Time - Simple Things
Can you enjoy your own quiet time without being lonely or do you consistently need noise or entertainment? Are you able to enjoy simple things like the sound of rain or a child's laughter?…
Do Widows Feel Deeply?
The truth is that when other people are hurting, I hurt too. When they cry, I mist up with them. When they laugh, I join in and when they are lonely I understand. Don't we all feel…
I Can Be Me
Lately I've stopped several times a day to say "Life is good" and its true. Life is good and the more I appreciate it the more it seems to be so. It brings me to the question "Is it me?"…
International Widows Day on June 23rd
There are an estimated 245 million widows worldwide, 115 million of whom live in poverty and suffer from social stigmatization and economic deprivation purely because they have lost their…
What are your core values?
List 3 things that you will NEVER change belief in. True values are expressed in your actions. What gives you the best value for your time? That indicates what you should do. Remember time…
Quilt of Holes
Quilt of Holes As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles;…
Relationships
How many times have you thought to yourself. I don’t want to “work” at a new relationship, I want it to be the fun part of my life. And how many times has a nagging voice in your head…
Stress Busters
Meditative state that you can easily slip into by repeating a word, phrase or muscular activity, and then focusing on the repetition, disregarding thoughts that inevitably come to mind.…
Guilty Feelings As A Widow
Wow, widows will feel guilty over just about anything. Why do we do it to ourselves? Widows will, after much soul-searching, feel guilty about …….. and ……. It’s to our credit that we care…
Ways to Beat Loneliness
Here are seven ways to beat the loneliness we feel as widows: Make it a point to contact others regularly. Get involved – people need your help. Develop new dreams. Dreams give hope and a…
The Sisterhood of Widows Testimonials
Hello Everyone - I have two new testimonials on YouTube about the book. Please check them out and if you like them please click on "like". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjkxHBTELYQ…
Loneliness
I use to be like a dog chasing it’s tail – grief, sadness, anger, loneliness, happy, confused and back to grief. I was unbalanced, like a stool without all it’s legs. The greatest thing in…
Heavy Burden
We carry heavy burdens on our souls, burdens that unless unloaded will weigh us down forever. There is nothing you and I can do about the past. It’s gone but you can do a great deal about…
Emotional Chaos
Feelings of distraction, distress, or emotional chaos are natural and appropriate responses to be going through. Having these feeling doesn’t make us a basket case. We needn’t downplay…
Emotions are Important
We mustn’t allow anyone to minimize the importance of our emotions. When this happens, it’s important to stop and educate. To say “Let me tell you how it’s affecting me.” We shouldn’t…
Reflection and Discovery
As I began to take stock of my life and make new and different choices, I perceived this stage as a period of reflection and discovery that comes of being able to look both backwards and…
Joel Osteen
God puts people in our lives on purpose so we can help them succeed and become all He created them to be. Most people will not reach their full potential without somebody else believing in…
Tips and Advise Article
[caption id="attachment_1415" align="alignleft" width="150"] Telegraph Journal Article May 2011[/caption] This article was written for the "Thinking Ahead" insert of the Telegraph Journal .
Confused Widows
Some widows seem to be constantly lost in a fog of confusion. They go one way, than another. They try one thing and then shift to something else. Their problem is simple: They don't know…
Why Me?
Have you ever asked yourself that question - Why me? Instead of looking at it as all negative, I can try to find some positive to hold on to. We are all surrounded by negative thoughts…
I laughed till I cried
What a wonderful time I had at the "Chicks Night Out". The tears were rolling down my cheeks and I hadn't laughed that hard in years. What a gift to have friends to share a meal with and…
Music by Johnny Reid
I love to listen to my favorite music, sing, dance and enjoy the moment. Music is fun, energizing, relaxing and as calming as we need it to be. We celebrate our faith, remember events from…
Forgiveness
It's true we can't control what others think, but we can control what we think. Sometimes we just have to forgive ourselves and move on.
Quiet Day?
I was planning on staying home all Sunday in my PJ's to just relax. By 3:00 I was restless and when my Aunt and Uncle called to ask me out to supper I jumped at the opportunity to get out.…
Memory Newsletter
In June’s free newsletter (A Shared Journey) the focus is on memories. A professional landscaper does an article about keeping your memories alive in the garden with a memory tree or…
Admit It When You Are Wrong
I lost an old and treasured friend because I expressed my opinion without thinking of how she would feel. My words hurt her deeply and our lifetime friendship came to an end. It was a hard…
What Is Your Future?
What kind of person do you want to be in the future? What additional knowledge and skills do you want to acquire? In what areas would you like to become absolutely excellent? What subjects…
Website upgrade
I want to thank my University student, Jason Brown, for all the work he put into my website. Jason also did my second site www.themaryfrancis.com . Thanks also to Cindy Kohler for…
Telegraph-Journal
I want to thank Telegraph-Journal for asking me to write an article for their special "Thinking Ahead" insert on Saturday, May 21,2011. With the help of friends and family we can all grieve…
John Deere Lawn Tractor
Donnie's tractor is only 3 years old but all last year I had to boost it every time to get it going. This weekend it didn't start and I had enough. I went and bought a new battery. It…
Saint John Marina
Friendship Games for people 50+ from June 5th to 10th for only $25.00. Registration deadline is Friday May 27th, 2011. Lots to do and see plus a great opportunity to meet some new friends.…
Widows and Mental Health Questions
Are you mentally healthy? Do you recognize that some things can't be changed or do you dwell on past experiences and daydream about different outcomes? After an emotional upheaval do you…
Web-based Dream Board
The new O Dream Board is a free web-based application available off Oprah's website. So dream it. See it. Share it. Achieve it. Start living you best life now! Create your own Dream Board…
Birthdays
Another year older and I'm learning that with each passing year I value my time more. My time passes faster as I get older and I treasure where I spend it. I still waste it more than I…
Needy Widow In Training
I opened up the cottage last weekend and there was a leak in the pipes. This is one of those times that I really miss having Donnie around. I like to be independent but there are times when…
Moments, Fleeting Moments
I was paying my respect at the Funeral Home tonight for a much loved man. The place was packed with people who came to share their memories and love for this man. In the end we will all…
Time
Most people make the mistake of thinking that "time" will heal your pain. They are wrong because it's not the passing of time that counts, but what you do with that time. Time Magazine says…
Internet Safety
Protect yourself from intenet fraud: 1. Password should have both upper and lower case numbers, letters and symbols. 2. Never use an automatic log-in that saves your username and password.…
Message from one Widow
Email about the book - "Even though the stories are different, we all share some of the common thread of feelings. A couple of the ladies, and I believe, you referred to it yourself - "the…
NBAEAP Conference
Thank you Eldon for the following reference - "Mary did a breakout session at our NBAEAP conf. on Monday. She did an excellent job. She captured the audience like a pro, which has a lot to…
Memory Quilt
One of the ladies brought a quilt to our monthly meeting that she had made out of her late husbands T-Shirts. It was beautiful and each square was a T-Shirt that he had worn. It gave her…
Time Does Help Heal
Thank you everyone for your comments and encouragement about my journal entries. I've come a long way since Donnie's death thanks to my family and friends. I truly believe that healing…
Back From Europe
I had the trip of a lifetime visiting Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey and Malta. I enjoyed the history of Europe and they have beautiful monuments and churches. They have alot to be proud of…
November 8, 2008 – Entries from my journals
I had a wave of home sickness yesterday where I really missed Donnie and our old house. It still doesn’t seem real. Bob and Jimmy closed up the cottage and I was glad because it just wasn’t…
October 3, 2008 – Entries from my journals
I’m moving forward and writing my book. My hope is that every widow will be able to see herself in the stories and know that she is not alone. I have to keep encouraging myself that I can…
September 11, 2008 – Entries from my Journals
It’s been one year and I’ve gotten pass that first Christmas and all the other holidays but I feel just as sad and lonely. I went up to the grave site by myself. I just didn’t want to talk…
June 7, 2008– Entries from my journals
Being busy doesn’t stop me from thinking of Donnie. At the oddest time a feeling of deep sadness suddenly comes across me and I just want to cry. I wish I had him back so I could tell him…
January 6, 2008 – Entries from my journals
Today I was being lazy and was drifting in and out of sleep. At 9:20 I heard an odd sound like a phone ringing. I picked up the phone and heard Donnie as clear as anything. He said “It’s…
December 28th, 2007 – Entries from my journals
Well, Angela and I made it through our first Christmas without Donnie. Angela did me a stocking and bought me gifts from Santa. She worked Christmas Eve till 11:00 and when she got home we…
December 18, 2007 continued – Entries from my journals
On Tuesday September 4th, Donnie was in the hospital and they told him about the cancer. On Tuesday September 11th, Donnie and I got up early to get ready for Donnie’s doctor appointment at…
December 18, 2007 – Entries from my journals
It’s time I wrote down what has happened in the last few months. Friday, August 31st we were at the cottage and the doctor called about Donnie’s tests. I took the call because Donnie was…
June 20, 2007 – Entries from my journals
Donnie and I went to Angela’s graduation for her Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN). We are so proud of her and you should have seen Donnie. He stood up and whistled and clapped like crazy when…
June 2, 2007 – Entries from my Journals
I got a tattoo on my shoulder. It represents “love, faith and laughter” and Angela got a flower on the top of her foot. I always wanted a tattoo so I promised Angela I would get one with…
May 14, 2007 – Entries From My Journals
This is the year of my 50th birthday and the book “The Secret” was just released. I’m going to listen to my thoughts and take better care of myself. It was my birthday today and I spent a…
Europe Vacation
I’m away for the next 2 weeks and so I’m doing advance postings from my 2007 and 2008 private journals. It will cover that first year after Donnie’s death and they will be dated. I hope…
Chick's Night Out
I just had an amazing night out with a group of ladies and we shared parts of our journey with each other. That's what is healing - having other women who have losed a loved one be there…
SMET Monuments
On Saturday I spoke to the sales team of SMET Monuments in St. Stephen, N.B. They understand that its a very emotional time for their clients and help them design their monuments to reflect…
Grand Canyon Skywalk
As a widow I used to think that my travelling days were over. But I've found that I can and do travel every chance I get. It's a matter of being open to travelling in groups or with other…
Las Vegas
I just got back from vacation in Las Vegas and it truly is another world. I have to say that it was fun and I got to see some great shows but I couldn't help thinking about how much Donnie…
Charity
Select a charity, cause or purpose that you are willing to support in either time or money. Provide your friends and family members with the information about your charity so that they can…
Turn Off Your TV
There is plenty of time to watch TV when your too old to get off the coach. Have some designated TV time but don't set blindly in front of the TV every night and let life pass you by. Make…
What Matters Most To You?
Time is a non-renewable resource and once spent it is forever gone. Stop and think about what matters to you. Write out a list of how you are currently spending your time each week. Now go…
Impacting Others
I may be making an impact on women's lives, but they have made an unforgettable imprint on my soul. It is fulfilling to be giving value to others. I'm finding that lifting others up has…
Are You A Hugger?
My family are huggers - they hug to say hello and they hug to say good-bye. These last few years I've come to appreciate a hug. It relieves pain, suffering, depression and loneliness. It…
When do you know its right?
Today I was at the local Indio bookstore talking to the staff, when a lady came up to me and asked me if I was the writer of the book "The Sisterhood of Widows". I said "Yes" and she said,…
Website updated
My website www.sisterhoodofwidows.com has a "Resource Page" with some great links to other websites for tips and advice when you have lost a loved one. I also have a second website…
Keeping Papers
Just how long should you keep all your papers? Keep for one year - utility bills, pay stubs, bank and credit card statements. Keep for six years - investments statements, tax returns and…
Let's Get Organized
Time to clean out all my old documents, stray files, old bills and pieces of paper. First I have to empty that overflowing kitchen junk drawer that I throw everything into. I'm going to…
Week 10 Weigh In
The bad news is that I didn't reach my revised goal of 10 pounds in 10 weeks. I didn't get to exercise and I know that I need to start if I want to lose alot more weight. The good news is…
Public Speaking
This week I spoke to Family Plus Life Solutions and to KV Networks about my own journey. Everyone has a story to share that has value to others. Take time to listen and you will be…
How can you help others?
I'm always being asked about how I published my book and I love to pass on everything I know. The best way to help others is to share your stories - the good, the bad and the ugly. Quote…
Trivial Arguments
Why do some arguments slowly become huge fights and for what? To prove a point, to hold your ground because your right? Don't lose your focus on what's important. Spend your life's precious…
Birthdays
My youngest turned 27 today and it made me think about time. It goes by so fast and can never be recovered. It can slip through your fingers and be wasted without notice. I realized that I…
Week 9 Weigh In
I got slack this week and gained half a pound so now I'm 160.5. This is not what I wanted but I have only myself to blame. One more week to go so I'm going after a big 2.5 loss so I can end…
Do You Network?
What I really mean is do you put yourself out to meet, learn and share with others? Japan is a nation in shock and yet the world watches and is amazed at the strength of the people. They…
Do you have a dream?
Do you have a dream? I have a new friend who is writing her first book. She is working very hard at promoting it and has a dream. Unfortunately she also has people in her life that are…
Consumer Measures Committee
This is a great resource for everyone trying to avoid money mistakes. Visit www.cmcweb.ca for some great advice. This site allows you to create your own Consumer Handbook. It has…
Is Money Good or Bad?
We can all have hang ups about money from when we were kids. Example - people with money can be greedy or poor people just don't know how to handle the money they do get. The truth is money…
Do You Volunteer?
I just spent three hours doing paper work for a non-profit organization I'm involved with. As I worked I thought I don't have time for this but once done it gave me a feeling of…
Week 8 - I'm happy to be down
Week 8 - I'm happy to report that I'm down from 162 lbs to 160 lbs. I have 2 more weeks to go in my 10 week plan to lose a total of 20 lbs. I'm only down 8 pounds so it looks like I may…
Dr. Mike Moren's 17 Day Diet
They say that its "Proven to take weight off and keep it off for good". If I had a dollar for every diet that promises the same thing, I would be rich. I don't like diets because they can't…
I just got back from "Women in Business"
I just got back from an evening in St. Andrews with the "Women in Business". There were about 80 ladies there and we networked, ate an amazing meal and listened to a great motivational…
Fog City Rollers
They presented a celebration of music and art for international women's day and it was a fun evening for all the ladies there. All the entertainment was great but I think my favorite was…
Are You Prepared For An Emergency?
Everyone should have someone they can call incase of an emergency and the phone number should be posted where it can be seen. Create an emergency supply kit with food, first aid,…
What would Donnie think?
Elaine Shannon posted a video with me talking about the journey I'm on and an old friend of Donnie's commented that he would be proud of me. That got me thinking - What would he think? He…
Focusing On A Specific Goal
I need to take responsibility for my goal and keep moving towards it. As long as I'm taking steps towards my book promotion I will eventually succeed. It is important to be positive and to…
I have another website
I have another website www.themaryfrancis.com to promote myself as an author and public speaker. Please visit and thank you for the support.
Week 7 - Down 1 pound
Week 7 - Down 1 pound this week so I'm moving in the right direction at 162 lbs. I've come to realize weight loss has to be controlled first by my mind before I can ever hope to control it…
Women of N.O.W.
Women of N.O.W. - K.V. Entrepreneurial Initiative Awards was tonight. I was surrounded by women that were making their own paths and I could feel the energy throughout the room. There is…
Supper out with others
Supper out with other women who understand the grief journey is healing to my soul. It was a lovely time tonight as we freely shared our thoughts and feelings over a great meal. What could…
March 2011 newsletter
March 2011 newsletter is coming out on Wednesday. It is filled with great tips and articles. See sign up at www.sisterhoodofwidows.com.
God Has Been With Me Today
I was working with the student on my description for the website that would have all my key words and be search engine friendly. I've redone it several times but today as I got ready to…
Week 6 - Weight Watchers
Week 6 - Weight Watchers is my next step towards my weight goal. I'm a life time member but I have not been there for years. That could be one of the reasons the weight came back!!! I don't…
Today I'm working on improvements.
I'm working on improving my website and everything to do with my book. It is so nice to be able to spend the time on something I really enjoy. I'm taking a course on marketing called "Live…
De-cluttering My Life
I love my stuff but I'm happy to be free from the stuff that doesn't enhance my life and really enjoy the stuff that does. I'm all moved into my apartment and the house is gone. I've come…
Week 5 Weigh in
I'm still at 164.2. At least I didn't gain but that 2 lb loss seems to be harder every week. Cindy told me about this site online where you can track all your meals and exercise. I just…
A Perfect Match
As I pack to move I think about being single in a world I once knew as a couple. I think that searching and believing in a soul mate can be dysfunctional and can compound loneliness. First…
Memories
I finally took that storage tote out from under the bed. I'm moving and downsizing and after three years it's still hard to look at all the special items I kept from Donnie. It felt like he…
Week 4 of Weigh in
I went from 164.4 to 164.2. How disappointing is that? I could say that I've been sick and that I've been away for a week, and though that is true, I'm only making excuses. The truth is I…
Week 3 of Weigh in
I can see that this is going to be a journey of ups and downs. This week I'm down 2 pounds from 166.4 to 164.4. At least I'm going in the right direction. I'm still focused on just 2 lbs a…
My first newsletter
My first newsletter has a 100% positive feedback and I couldn't be more blessed. The articles with tips and advice were amazing. Thank you!
The newsletter is done.
The newsletter is amazing. I want to thank Dianne Savoy at http://e-virtualassistant.com/ for all the work she did. Go sign up, you will love it.
Monthly newsletter
Monthly newsletter "A Shared Journey" is coming Feb 2nd. Please go to www.sisterhoodofwidows.com - Newsletter Sign Up- and Opt In to receive it. It is filled with tips and advise to help…
Week two weigh in
Didn't do as well this week as I gained one pound. Been out sick and just not up to par so here's hoping that next week will be better. Boy is it ever easy to gain, but hard to lose!! Still…
Are you frightened of making mistakes?
It's so much easier to lay low and not risk failure but it seems to me that making mistakes is part of growing. If I avoid doing something because of fear, I'm also depriving myself of all…
Worry Is A Killer
Worry wears down our resistance to disease and make no mistake, worry is a killer. I'm trying to make this one day a worry free day, things are either going to happen or not. Worry is a bad…
Unrealistic Goals
Setting unrealistic goals for ourselves actually sets us up for failure as we chase the impossible. • Accept that some things are just out of your control and there isn't anything you can…
Creativity is not reserved for artists and musicians.
We are all born with creative ability and we create our lives with the thoughts we think. If you change your thoughts and become open to exploring the full expanse of your talents and…
The house sold and I'm moving on
I'm moving in 30 days. I'm happy to be free to rent and have no responsiblities for awhile. I have to clean out all my extra stuff that I just seem to grow piles of. That is a project I'm…
Week one of my weight loss journey
The plan was to lose 2 lbs a week for 10 weeks, going from168 to 148 lbs. Week one and I lost 2.6 lbs of weight - 165.4 lbs. I can't do 20 lbs but I think this 2 lbs per week is great. What…
Mark Twain Quote
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade…
Develop A Support Team
A support team will help you through this differcult time. Friends, family, a counselor or therapist, and trusted financial professionals can all help you gather information, review, make…
Focus on what you want.
So many people want to change how they feel, but they don't know how. The fastest way to change how you feel about anything is to change what you're focusing on. Even if things are tough,…
Life passes by faster every year.
The reality is that only you are in control of where you want to be in ten years. Open your eyes to opportunity...open your mind to possibilities....and open your heart to the freedom…
Couple friends change when your a widow.
One thing that I noticed when I became a widow is that couple friends slowly moved away from me. They didn't plan to be mean but after all I was no longer "a couple" and so I didn't fit…
Weight Loss Goal
It"s time for me to step up and state one of my own personal goals. I've gained 20 lbs and my goal is to lose 2 lbs a week over the next 10 weeks. Every Friday I'm going to come clean and…
How To Keep A Positive Mindset.
For the full article signup for my newsletter on this website. Meanwhile here are my five top tips: 1. Stay around positive people. 2. Acknowledge your fear and write out three action steps…
80% of all goals will fail.
80% of all goals will fail but yours don't have to. Here are some tips for keeping your goals: Write them down. Share them with others. Track your progress. Reward yourself for a small…
The Northern Light Newspaper
The Northern Light newspaper did an article for when I spoke at the Bathurst Heritage Museum on November 21, 2010. The women were amazing and we had quite an active conversation about how…
Get a Free Newsletter
Get a Free Newsletter called "A Shared Journey" with articles from professionals dealing with finances, estate planning, family, friends, dating and much more. It will have positive quotes,…
House deal fell apart
I think that selling a house has to rank in the top 10 for stressful things we have to deal with in our lives. Oh, well - it wasn't meant to be. It will be interesting to see what happens…
Sell or Keep My House
I have it on the market and now it has an offer and I'm getting nervous. I guess change is like that, it makes you nervous and yet excited at the same time. I certainly don't need both a…
January Is The Start Over Month
Everyone has a clean slate with new goals for health, finance and personal relationships. With the loss of a loved one we have already been forced into a new start. It wasn't planned or…
Looking back at 2010
I sat down and thought about the struggles I had and what did I learn from them? What did I learn about myself? What difference did I make in 2010? All of what I've gone through has made me…
News 88.9 Saint John
I was on a live talk show with Tom Young this afternoon. The radio talk show was heard on News 95.7 Halifax, News 88.9 Saint John and News 91.9 Moncton. Tom asked some very insightful…
New Years Eve. as a Widow
I thought the holidays were hard but nothing highlights loneliness more then New Years Eve without your husband. This is one night that I still have not figured out a way to avoid.…
Another Christmas is over
It seems that it builds up for weeks and its over in a day. It's all quite exhausting, both emotionally and physically. I can see why more and more people choose to go away on vacation. But…
Christmas 2010 YouTube Message
I posted a message on YouTube about getting through the holidays when your grieving the loss of a loved one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYh1V6u9f24
Widow Potluck
It's one week to Christmas and I can't think of anything I would rather do then spend the afternoon with other widows. Eating and sharing our memories: the good, the bad and the ugly. They…
Google Blog Search for Widows
I did a Google Blog Search for "widows" on December 18th. The Sisterhood of Widows blog came in # 1 and #6 on the first page out of 801,000 results. Amazing!!
It is the Season
It is the season for giving, so give attention to someone who needs it. Ask them about their holiday plans, New Year's resolutions, best holiday purchase - it doesn't matter what as long as…
If You Can't Climb The Wall Build A Door
This is a great book by Dr. Charles Lever. The premise of the book is that no matter how great the challenges in your life, you can find a way to move beyond them and grow from them. See if…
Who is holding you back?
As a widow do you ever find yourself saying, "Oh no, I'll never be able to do that" - without even giving it a try? Look at your excuses and see them for the falsehoods they are. You can…
Grieving in Silence
It's the holidays and everyone is in the festive mood, but your not. It's hard to grieve because you feel like you are dragging down the mood wherever you go. Does that sound familar to…
A Book of Healing True Stories
A lady I met this weekend sent the below message to her network of friends. I thought it was a great idea to promote the book by a grassroots movement. I'm forwarding her message on to my…
Christmas Shopping
Remember how you bought a car and then noticed how many cars of that make and color were on the road. Christmas shopping is like that. When Donnie was alive I never noticed how many couples…
Christmas parties
Christmas parties give me mixed feelings. On one hand I enjoy getting out and seeing everyone, but on the other hand it makes me feel lonely for Donnie. The whole Christmas season is an up…
Lots of invites to Home Parties
It's that time of the year and everyone seems to be having a home party, selling just about everything. But where do you draw the line? It's a great way to socialize with some friends if…
I just got back from Live Out Loud Workshop
I just got back from a Live Out Loud workshop in San Jose, CA. They really encourage you to think about what your passion is and how to earn cash from it. How great is that, to have…
Live Out Loud By Loral Langemeier
I'm off to San Jose for a three day workshop on living my life to the fullest and achieving all my goals. I will be back next week and I will post what I learned so everyone can have it to…
My life is a journey
My life is a journey of me discovering my own self-worth, my own magnificence and of me learning who I am. That's my mission - to start having inner peace and to think about what…
As Widows we are out of our comfort zone.
We all live our lives trying to avoid risky situtations and avoid the potential to be hurt, but life doesn't always work out as planned. As widows we have been taken out of our comfort zone…
Widows - When we Justify
When we justify, we are trying to convince ourselves that it's OK to settle for second best...that it's OK to play it safe...that it's OK to sell ourselves short. Happy, fulfilled people…
Widows Pot Luck Supper
Tomorrow I'm the guest speaker at the "Widows First Pot Luck Supper" in Bathurst, New Brunswick. I want to thank Jessica Ryan for all her hard work. Jessica came up with this idea and…
Depression And Widows
Widows have to be careful that they don't slip into depression. It is so easy to let everything go, because our whole life has changed. The symptoms to watch out for are lack of sleep,…
Patience and Understanding
I spoke to alot of widows this weekend that are all at different stages of their "grieving and healing" journey. It made me think of how we progress in our thinking and how our frame of…
Harbour Station Christmas Craft Show
Harbour Station Christmas Crafts and Misc. I have a table at Harbour Station this weekend to promote and sell the book. When your there stop by station area M4 and say Hi. I love talking to…
A Widow Sharing Her Story
Below is a message I received with permission to print and share: " Hi Mary, My cousin thought of me the other day while reading your book "The Sisterhood of Widows". She has lent me the…
Article On Challenges
I contributed to the article "76 Challenges That Women Have to Overcome in Entrepreneurship" article and ranked # 2. It's a great overview of the challenges we need to overcome to be…
Abraham Lincoln - Good Advice for Widows
Abraham Lincoln said "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be". How we choose to react to being a widow is our choice. Each of us shapes our own destiny by the…
Statistics on Widows
Statistics on Widows age 65 and over show that five years after they were widowed 9.4% were living below the low-income threshold. Senior widows outnumbered senior men by four to one. This…
To Take A Risk As A Widow
When Donnie first died I was always busy because I didn't want to deal with it. I was scared of sitting home all the time and getting into a rut. I had this strong sense that I couldn't…
To be independent
It's my sincere hope that my book "The Sisterhood of Widows" will encourage you to choose independence over dependence ... to free yourself from grief... and to choose, above all, to live…
Time to Grieve
I was out last night and I ended up setting beside a widow (it's amazing how many of us are out there). She has been a widow for eleven years and felt that it takes about four years to get…
Oprah's Community
I just discovered that I can do my "Dream Board" on Oprah's Community site. I can put images on it that represent my dreams, words that inspire me and set my goals. I just joined the…
Passion Tree For Life
Passion Tree - I often think that there is a Passion Tree out there and I can pick anything I want off of it. The question is why do I hold back? We women don't seem to be the risk takers…
Positivity for Widows
While in Las Vegas I spent some time with a very special person, Kelly Eckert. She is the author of the book "Make Someone's Moment" Positivity Girl's Guide to Finding Joy in Making Others…
Money and Widows
When there was two incomes coming into the house I didn't really plan for my once a year expenses. How there is only my income and I have to accept that financial change. If I continue to…
Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy and I in Las Vegas Oct 30,2010. I have a picture of us that will always be a point of motivation for me. When I hit that brick wall I will get back up and remember that "Mary,…
Brian Tracy
When I became a widow I had no passion and life was flat. I purchased some motivational DVD's with Brian Tracy and I watched them every night. He talked about goal setting and living a life…
Don't Judge Others
I recently had a conversation with a good friend who was having a hard time because a her brother didn't like the way she acted or dressed. He thought she was too loud and opinionated. This…
Gratitude
Today I was working at the hospital doing programming and I was in the Radition/Chemo area. As I walked by the waiting room I saw a lady about my age just sitting there. She had shoulder…
Regrets As A Widow
I had never seen a man shave until I got married. I think I had this picture in my mind of a perfect marriage and I didn’t realize that couples do argue and that marriage can be difficult.…
Advise for Family Members
I've spent alot of time talking to widows and their families these last two days. I'm writing today for the families because they want to help but are struggling on how to approach their…
My official launch
I officially launched the book today at Indigo. It is availiable locally until January 1, 2011 and then all bookstores will carry it. Meanwhile it can be order direct from my website.…
Book Launch at Indigo of The Sisterhood of Widows
Today I official launched the book and I realized that although I am the older generation I don't have to be old at heart. In fact in many ways the passion I get from helping others has…
Thanksgiving
Today I was copying pictures from my camera to my computer when I realized that I've crossed a path in my life. I've become the older generation. I used to do the Thanksgiving turkey and…
The books impact on one widow
Below is an email I received with permission to pass it on. Widows helping widows - that is what it's all about. To: Mary Francis Subject: Your Chapter Well done Mary! I was impressed. Our…
Author and Speaker - Robin Sharma
Back in 1997 I purchased the book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" by Robin Sharma. I highlighted it and marked the pages and it had a big impact on me. However, I didn't realize how much of…
Networking Women
I just spent two days at a networking conference for women about diversity in the workplace. There is so much energy surrounding a networking conference for women and we should go to every…
Living a Life of Passion
I've thought of this alot the last three years since I've become a widow. What is a life of passion? I think it's a joyful life but that's hard to find after the death of a loved one.…
Celebration
Today we celebrated Natalie's baptism and there were lots of picturers taken. There is nothing I enjoy more then when the families get together for celebrations and lots of good food. I…
Telegraph Journal Newspaper Article
Below is link to the article about "The Sisterhood of Widows" It is amazing how much free press the book is getting. It is filling a need for those looking for encouragement as they grieve…
FacilicorpNB Article in The Source
The Sisterhood of Widows was articled in FacilicorpNB newsletter "The Source". It is really quite nice when your place of work supports your efforts outside of the work place. In fact I…
Goals for Widows
Don’t waste your time thinking it’s too late to go after your dreams. You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. When it comes to dreams – nobody…
Support For Widows
You’ll know that you’re detached and out of touch with how you feel when others seem more emotional then you. You may feel disconnected and emotionally unavailable. Try to open up to close…
Financial Checkup
Financial decisions have to be made every time you turn around. Everyone has an opinion but not everyone is an expert. This is your future security so be very cautious. • Ask your bank…