One of our biggest challenges is learning to silence our inner doubts.  Widows are under a lot of pressure and can easily fall into the “I’m never going to be happy again” trap.  I know because I was there after Donnie died. We need to silence our inner doubts and fears.  A shift in thinking can change your thoughts from negative to positive.  I know – it’s not easy – but what do you want moving forward? Our confidence is low when we think that we don’t have enough to be all that we can be.  But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Abundance surrounds us when we are grateful for the positives we still have in our lives. Moving forward – take a small action, then immediately acknowledge that you took that action.  Such tiny steps help us to be more confident.  We often fear that if others really saw our pain, they would reject us.  But the opposite is true: vulnerability is how we connect to those we care about.  If that isn’t true than those relationships are shallow and may not be worth holding onto.  Living with authenticity takes a weight off our shoulders and brings us closer to those that matter. As we try to find our way without our loved ones, we soon discover that we will not begin to live more fully until we have the courage to do, see and experience from our own eyes only.  There will be times when in order to keep ourselves in the moment, we simply have to sit back for a while and do nothing. For a widow who has let herself become too busy to deal with her grief, nothing is more difficult than to sit still and rest, doing nothing at all.  We all grieve differently, but if you’re too busy, the very act of resting is the hardest and most courageous act you can do for yourself. Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: “Why should I do this and why shouldn’t I do this?”  When considering your “Yes” and “No” response, you must give yourself time to choose the response that feels like freedom and not duty. Don’t give into your inner doubts.  There’s no reason not to say “You know, that doesn’t work for me.”  I don’t know why that’s so difficult to say, but it is.  Just because you are a widow, doesn’t mean that you don’t have a life or an opinion. Always remember there is a path forward for you.  Every day comes with so many choices, so silence your inner doubts and make some great choices!