I swear, “What a Mess” often came to my mind when I became a widow at the age of fifty.  You may waste your time, lose your focus and never seem to get a break, but it’s still a mess that you must keep moving through. Your grief will not hold you back if you are determined to heal.  The parts of your life that may be messy are being strengthened as you learn to be a person who never gives up. Cultivate a life style of faith (if not spiritually, then have faith in yourself), because that is one path you can take to build a new life for yourself.  Fight for your right to live a happy, free of fear or guilt life.  Yes, life is a mess, but that doesn’t mean you should settle for less.  Therefore, we can’t slack off, and we can’t let up or we will get struck in the mess.  If you want to clean up the mess you have to remain active.  Being passive and wishing things were different will never help your broken heart to heal.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.  The most certain way to succeed is always

to try just one more time.”  Thomas Edison

This is your life – say to yourself, “I will not give up, no matter what.”  If you really want to come out of the mess that widowhood brings, you will!  If you really want to develop a positive attitude, you will!  First you need to grieve, but then you need to heal. What do you want?  Become clear on what you need to do, what actions you need to take to work through the mess.  Paperwork is especially hard to get through, so don’t hesitate to ask for help and support. As a widow I’ve felt like giving up.  Years later I still have times where I think, "What a Mess", but I've made it and I encourage you to be strong so that you can also make it through your grief.  The primary reason why I was so determined to work through my own mess is that I knew I would be miserable for the rest of my life if I didn’t try.  This happens to many widows.  We have a desire, but our grief talks us out of acting on it. I am convinced that we miss many blessings in our lives because we get stuck.  Sometimes we grow weary – not just physically, but also mentally.  Widows need renewal; a time of rest and restoration as we grieve.  When weariness sets in, the mess around us grows.  Weary widows have to allow their grief, but in time we need to persevere and move forward. Instead of asking yourself what you should do, ask “What can I do?”  Start with what you can do, on your time line.  It’s about growth, so bring more balance to your life by making an effort.  It will start a ripple effect of encouragement that will lift your spirit and light a path through the mess of widowhood. Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows Messy widowhood, Thomas Edison, the sisterhood of widows, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief, life of a widow, #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows