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While most widows can look at their lives and with hindsight, see the mistakes they have made. They also can learn to make better decisions as a widow.
Please don’t criticize yourself, we all have times of indecision. It’s hard to know what to do first. Tip: Stop what you are currently doing and think about what NOT TO DO. Stop moving forward with a poor decision and free yourself up to make better decisions.
Widows feel safe with what is familiar. Are you holding on to something similar without thinking about whether it’s serving you or dangerous to continue? What are you going to do about it? This is where you need to stop, step back and look at both sides of a decision.
Ask yourself these three questions:
- Will it meet my need not just my want?
- Am I looking at all my options?
- Do I have all the information I need?
Asking these questions and finding the answers helps us to make better decisions. Questions help us focus on what is around us and also what our “heart” is telling us.
Our decisions come from our personal thoughts, feelings and beliefs. We need to be aware of how are beliefs may be affecting how we make decisions. Does your decision show integrity and honesty? Are you interested in making better decisions or venting to others about your problems? It’s important to tell yourself the truth so you can learn from your mistakes.
Our ego doesn’t like to acknowledge our mistakes or where we need to make changes. It’s hard, but the more clearly we see the truth the more apt we are to make better decisions.
When you make a decision does it feel right to you? Are you calm or anxious? Does it drain you or energize you? If you are forcing things to happen, if it’s a lot of effort and not quite right, then it will probably turn out poorly.
To make better decisions you need to develop and trust your own intuition. Choose to listen to your inner feelings and delay quick decisions if you are not ready. Example: Selling your home. However, do take time to break down your choices so you can find several options. Options give you the freedom to make better decisions.
We get pretty good at faking it, which sounds depressing when I say it out loud. Others may think we aren’t afraid of anything, but in reality we are often afraid of change. It’s important not to act on our fears, but instead ask ourselves, “What would I do if I was not afraid?” If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t and you need to step back and view your decision – with honesty.
You deserve better, feel that truth as it will help you make better decisions.
