- Read material that encourages independence.
- Take long walks alone.
- Embrace your feelings and desires.
- Take control of your future.
- Make a list of everything you’re interested in.
- Join some outside interests/hobbies.
- Build relationships that are strong and meaningful.
- Try things that are out of your comfort zone.
- Make a list of everything you like about yourself.
- Notice two beautiful things each day.
- It’s important to allow yourself to grieve.
- Write in a journal about how much you have changed and grown.
All Blog Postings by Mary
You Are a Widow
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
Of course, as a widow we wish our lives had never changed but you are a widow, now what?
Life moves forward from our birth to our death, and it doesn’t always follow a smooth, straight line. Time does often make us wiser, and if we allow it, we will acquire a special kind of honesty and a willingness to go on.
Each of us widows arrives at the point where we need to let go of what we once knew. In time our past is no longer a wrenching memory and we learn to live with that. It doesn’t mean that we don’t still grieve, it just means that we accept the label “widow” knowing that the label doesn’t define who we are. By clinging to the label of “widow”, we not only cause ourselves pain but allow others to rule our thoughts and actions. Acknowledge that you are a “widow”, but don’t become a victim under its label.
Eventually you will begin to sense a very deep self that defies the “widow” label of a sad, depressed woman. The essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience life fully. The point is that you must learn to live your life as a woman who is no longer married. Our belief in labels is what gives them the power to influence our behavior.
Knowing how to let go of the label of a sad, depressed “widow” without losing your essential self will yield you a security in knowing who you are. Married, widowed, young or old, it doesn’t matter as long as you know and remember who you are as a person, not as a label.
In the end the question is not, “You are a widow, now what?” but instead, “Who are you, really?”
Here are a few tips to finding yourself: