If your a recent widow, you are just getting by minute by minute - then hour by hour - day by day - week by week until you finally can do month by month without breaking down. If you can have an "ok" moment - just 60 seconds of being "ok" at least once a day - it's a start and to be expected those first few months. Be easy on yourself and understand that grief will take its time. It's normal to grieve for months and even years before you find your balance. Understanding this will help stop you from drifting into depression, thinking that your grieving is taking too long.