All Blog Postings by Mary
What to Expect as a Widow
By Mary Francis · Originally published: June 6, 2017
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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When you suddenly become a widow, you don’t know what to expect. Your world’s been turned upside down and nothing is as it should be. Even though you may think you’re going crazy, you’re not. You’re just a new widow and your life is forever changed.
Learning to expect the unexpected will help you get through this painful time, so here are a few tips:
• Expect people to say stupid things like – “You’ll meet someone new” or “I understand because I’m divorced and also single”. Just let these comments go as they aren’t worth your energy.
• Expect to break down in tears when you least expect it. Just the sight of a couple walking hand in hand can be enough to get the tears flowing.
• Expect to feel weak, strong, sad, happy, silly, guilty, lonely, tired, overwhelmed, and continuously unsettled.
• Expect friends to not know what to say or do. Therefore some drift away – the good ones come back.
• Give yourself permission to process your grief any way you need to.
• Expect that there will be times that you wished you were dead too.
• Expect the grief to always be this painful. – It won’t as in time you will learn how to manage it.
• Expect no one to truly understand your grief because each grief is personal, no two are alike.
• Expect that you will make.
• Realize that you are not alone and expect/ ask for help when you need it.