In my first few years as a widow I searched out women who were years into widowhood and asked them to revisit that period in their lives. They made themselves available to me and shared their deepest feelings.
It was like I was in a dark cave and they came in to sit with me, reassuring and coaxing me out into the light. They told me to prepare myself for a whole new life, but also assured me that despite my grief, they knew I could handle it. Their confidence in me, plus being forewarned, helped boost my spirit.
Widowhood heightened my sense of life’s fragility and has resulted in some major, life-changing decisions. I’ve realized that I wanted to try new things and that this priority outweighed my working career of thirty-six years.
Donnie’s death has sharpened my focus and strengthened my resolve to enjoy life, to love those who mean so much to me, and to accept that adversity can in fact intensify life. To put the ordinary pleasures that I used to take for granted back into a sweetness for living.
Through those first few years my widowed friends functioned as my no-nonsense reality check, my advocate as they listened patiently to my anxieties. Even though I complained and felt sorry for myself, I had them for back up.
I knew I could trust them, so I felt free to confide my darkest fears knowing that my spirit was in the care of my friends. The very fact of their existence helped as I was buoyed up simply by them sharing their stories. It was important to witness how they lived their lives, and knowing that not that long ago, each of them had been in my place.
The first few years can be pure hell and yet they can contain the beginnings of new joys. These joys start out slowly and require nourishment to grow. When you're in the midst of grief, you may not notice these gleams of light but they are there waiting for you to receive them. ResourcesI look back on these early years with a willingness to help other women through it. Please take advantage of all the resources on my website, YouTube channel and Blog postings. Go to Facebook and do a search for "The Sisterhood of Widows - Private Group for Widows" to request to join our no men, no business, community for widows.
And most of all please search out those special friends that can be there for you – to cry, to laugh and to understand your grief.
To Our Shared Journey, Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator, Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows” widows first year, widowed friendships, the sisterhood of widows, widow support, grieving, how to grieve, grief, life of a widow, #thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve, #widowshelpingwidows