Let your friends and family know that their comforting presence (a hug or a touch) is important. They can help with shopping, cooking, errands or drives to appointments. It also helps us to talk about our loved ones and our memories. To be willing to admit "I don't know" when a grieving person asks "Why?" Know that it is more often a cry of pain than a question expecting an answer. Be patient with us as the period of recovery is determined by many factors. Encourage us to express our feelings. Then, accept whatever feelings are expressed without taking them personally. Pay special attention to our children as they need the security of family. Encourage us to see our doctor for a medical checkup– just to confirm that we have no illness that we have been avoiding. Encourage us to join a Support Group or to seek one-on-one counseling. Remember that weekends, holidays and evenings are difficult for us. Be willing to take the initiative socially and don't expect anything in return. Don't be afraid to cry openly. It gives us an opportunity to comfort someone and a realization that we are not alone in our grief. Don't use platitudes like "I know how you feel...He is much better off...It's God's will...Be brave...Well, she had a good long life..." Don't hesitate to talk about our loved one or to share your own memories. Learn to recognize the symptoms of grief and to say, "You are perfectly normal". Discourage us from making any major changes within the first year.