All Blog Postings by Mary
Grieve Less
By Mary Francis · Originally published: March 31, 2025
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
When Will I Grieve Less and Start Feeling Better?
Everyone is different but there are some factors that might contribute to how long it takes:
- The length of your marriage.
- The trauma associated with his death.
- The unresolved issues in your marriage.
- Family and friends as support.
- How social you are?
- Your willingness to acknowledge your grief.
Bereavement is a process and you need the tools to work your way through your grief. Buying this workbook is the first step towards dealing with your grief.
Don’t try to force yourself to “get over it” quickly because you are setting yourself up to fail. You need to be patient and go through the grief stages as you approach them. The average length of time to feel better can be up to three years. However, it’s also common to feel better for a while and then something triggers your feelings of intense grief all over again.
Some don’t know how to adjust to life without their spouse and they remain lost without any joy in their lives. Sometimes this turns to depression and they never get the help they need. This may even lead to suicidal feelings because without help they get tired of being tired and just want to give up.
Sharing your emotional pain with supportive friends, family and community will help you to move through your grief and start feeling alive again. If you feel stuck, then reach out and get some professional advice.
Some people are more private and don’t like to talk about their feelings. The tricky part is to engage actively in your recovery process and at the same time start to map out a path for your new life. There is no predictable timeline as the changes are coming from within you.
Don’t be surprised when you start enjoying life again and you have conflicting emotions about being happy – that’s normal. Widows have to learn on the go, so understand that nothing in your past could have prepared you to be a widow. Be willing to learn and adapt to all that comes your way. Widows have that unique ability, and I'm thankful for that.
