When someone you love dies the old patterns, dreams and rules that your life was built around are no longer the same.  You are faced with a new beginning. I want to encourage you to move on using your memories to motivate you toward rediscovering yourself.  This is not an easy thing to do because you have lost your direction and your grieving. But one day your grieving will go into healing and that is when you can look at your memories and use them for motivation. Your life is the most valuable thing on this earth  - rediscover it.