All Blog Postings by Mary
Writing a Sympathy Note
By Mary Francis · Originally published: June 18, 2021
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Nothing heals quite like writing a sympathy note, for both the writer and for the receiver. Writing a sympathy note (not an email or Facebook comment) is important because the grieving widow needs to hear directly from your heart to hers.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
- Write the family/widow as soon as you learn about the death. If some time has passed still write a condolence note, but don’t include an explanation/excuse for being late.
- Avoid platitudes and clichés like “He is in a better place”. Same goes with religious comments, unless you know their beliefs and feeling, don’t go there.
- Be sincere to show that you are thinking of them and offering support and encouragement. Share a fond memory you have of their loved one or how they may have inspired you.
- Use the deceased’s name and keep it as personal as possible. If you don’t know what to say be honest and say so: “I don’t know what to say, but please know that I’m sorry for your loss.”
- Don’t bring up differences or apologies for past misunderstandings. Also, please don’t talk about your own past losses or compare them to the loss of the person the note is going to.
- If you are offering support/help then include your contact information. Full name, address, phone and email address.
Please share this message to others. I think it’s important that we go back to personal cards/notes and less quick comments on Facebook or on emails. Take the time to show you really care by making it personal between you and them.
