All Blog Postings by Mary
Identity of A Widow
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
Years ago I had the honour of spending some time with Stedman Graham. He was so much more than the media’s label of “Oprah’s boyfriend”, just as women who have lost their husbands are so much more than the label/identity of a Widow.
Stedman had just published his book, “Identity – Your Passport to Success”. This isn’t a book about success in leadership or business or even in finances. Success is so much more than what the world defines it to be.
He talked about success in life being when you know your inner self – your identity. Widows struggle with their identity because society has moved them from the label of “wife” to “widow”. So after years of marriage their identity as a wife has been stripped away.
How is a widow to react? What are the rules for this new role you suddenly find yourself in?
It has taken me years to find my identity, to know the inner me and to be happy again. It’s not easy to get rebalanced when your whole life has changed – finances, couple friends, social life, not to mention the empty house and loneliness.
You may have hear about the different grief stages, but take note that they were created for those that had just found out they were terminal and not for those that are left behind. You can however use them as guidelines, knowing that not all widows go through grief the same way. Just as our marriages were different, so our grief will also be different.
I want you to be so much more than “a widow”. Don’t travel your path blindly, by how the world defines you. Please invest in yourself, be motivated to move forward on your own special and unique journey.
You may think that you know who you are, but your identity will change and evolve as you go from being a “wife” to a “widow”. It’s up to you to be aware of these changes so you can use them to your benefit.
You are widow but that is not your identity. You have the ability to do extra-ordinary things and to embrace your life. Yes, it’s not as you planned – Yes, it’s not what you want, but it’s what you are left with. So be all that you can be, because you are so much more than “a widow”.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve