All Blog Postings by Mary
Don’t Be Fearful
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
I believe that one of the biggest problems in a widow’s life is “fear”. Widows, please don’t be fearful, because if we can handle the death of our loved ones we can handle anything!
I understand that we widows all struggle with fear to some degree. Whether it’s low-level nervousness or a full blown panic attack, most widows experience some degree of fear because of all the changes in their lives. Our minds won’t shut down as we think; What if this happens…? What if? What if?
With a new life, we will almost always face negative people and circumstances. Fear will tell us it is too hard, it doesn’t make sense, we don’t deserve it or are not qualified. Fear wants to discourage us to the point that we don’t even try to move forward.
It would be foolish to promise that fear will go away. Fear will always be with us, but we can overcome it. We need to have a bold and courageous spirit when we face situations that intimidate us.
Fear will always try to keep widows from moving forward. I want to assure you that some of things you find fearful right now will not affect you the same way in a few years. Widows often feel fear when they do certain things for the first time. Things that our husbands used to do but we now have to do are especially stressful. However, as widows gain experience, fear and stress often go away.
What will you do when you are fearful of a situation? Will you stop or will you continue? It’s hard to explain our fears to others, but sometimes it helps to talk about what options you have. Just be sure to pick a positive and supportive person who will listen more than advice.
Every widow has to reach down deep inside, to press pass their fears and all the challenges of widowhood. This is not something others can do for us, but what we must do for ourselves.
With the loss of being part of a couple, we also fear losing our friends. We do not want others to think negatively of us or fail in front of them. This fear may stop us from making the changes we need to make. Fear is crippling and certainly hinders us from a full life. We fail to try, if we are afraid to fail.
Don’t be fearful. Instead when fear overcomes you, continue doing what you need to do. You may be doing it with sweating palms, but do it anyway. It’s important to face your fears and not run from it or be paralyzed by it. Face the situation, even when you would rather not.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows