Staying tied up in our past helps us to avoid our grief and also delays our healing. Changing from wife to widow can mean a loss of identity. You may still want to be known as a married person and not want to acknowledge that you’re now single in the eyes of the world. It’s important to remember all the good your marriage had brought into your life. There is always the positive – your beautiful children, the feelings of being loved, the new ideas and challenges of married life and the fun you had, are all reasons to be grateful. Bless your marriage for the good it has brought to you, then heal and prepare to move forward. Know that your marriage has provided you with the experience to be an even better person, to make better choices and be a better partner, if you should choice that path. When you allow grief, it’s a sign that you are risking change. So gather a lot of support and give yourself credit for the courage you are showing.