All Blog Postings by Mary
Don’t Settle
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
Dream big – don’t settle. Don’t follow culture, make your own path. We widows often settle for less then what we are capable of. Take some action steps and you will find that it builds on itself. Focus on what “I” can do next. There is power in questions. Ask better questions and you will get better answers.
What meaning do you give to what happens to you? Losses are what makes us listen to our hearts.
“Life happens for me, not to me.” Tony Robbins. This is a hard quote to take in when you have just lost a loved one. How can your loss be of any value? I don’t totally understand this myself, but over the years I have grown into a different person and part of that is because of my loss.
What makes the difference in some widow’s quality of life compared to others? Some widows still have a good life, but do nothing with it. While others have no support, grew up poor and uneducated, but still do amazing things with their lives.
Where you have been does not have to determine where you go next? Invest in yourself – because for things to change you have to change. For things to get better for you, you have to work on yourself. Learn to interact with others, develop what you do well and get better with time.
We are all equal as souls, as people of this planet; but we are not all equal in the eyes of the world. We have to learn to be more valuable to others. We do that by working first on ourselves, developing our skills, and learning who we are and where we fit in.
If we want more out of life we have to get clearer on what is holding us back. Get clear on what we want and what we are willing to learn/do to get it. Otherwise, we just settle for what comes our way.
Human emotions are what we really need to focus on. Everything is related to our emotions/feelings, but we are not really good at mastering them. If you are a worrier, you worry no matter what is happening in your life. To overcome this you need to understand how “fear” is controlling you.
Resources are not the problem, they will come if we master our focus and fears. All the fears we have, come down to the fear that we are not enough, that we won’t be loved and respected. Fear is the only thing that makes us settle for less. Turn fear on itself and think of what you are missing out of because fear gets in the way. Do what it takes to get more out of your life.
What is the difference between fear and faith? They both live in your mind, but the future is unknown and that is where fear lives. Create life on your own terms. Fear is imagination undirected, like weeds that just grow. Faith is where you decide what to believe and you take action towards it.
It’s okay to grieve and you should, but afterwards you need to want more so that you can heal. Don’t settle into your grief and never grow into all that you can be.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve. #widowshelpingwidows