All Blog Postings by Mary
Why is the Dealth of a Parent so Difficult?
By Mary Francis · Originally published: January 5, 2017
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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If an elderly parent dies, their death may be dismissed by: "Oh well, they had a good life, didn't they?" It may make you feel that you don't have a reason to grieve. This is not true.
. Your parent may be the most influential and powerful person in your life.
. When a parent dies you lose someone who loved you and cared for you.
. The death of a parent brings with it the loss of part of your childhood.
. With both parents gone, a buffer between you and death is removed. You become more aware of your own mortality.
. It may be that there are many things you wish you had said or done. You may be overcome with guilt. If this is the case, it may help to seek professional advice.
When you lose someone you love you go on a journey of grief. At first your unbalanced and stumble along. You may even fall as the path is uneven, dark and unknown to you. As time passes you will get more balanced with friends and family willing to help you.
Then one day you will realize that you haven’t fallen in a while and that you can see into the distance. The path will become more even and you will be able to look back to where you started and see how far you have come.
The bereavement process has nothing whatsoever to do with time, age, or gender. The expression of grief is extremely personal, and must be respected. To say that there is a time frame for the bereavement process is unwise and maybe even cruel as it suggests that there is something wrong with a person when their grief does not stop within a specific time frame.