There has been, and most likely still is, a general belief that once we live through a magical yearly life cycle, we will somehow be much better. While this may be true for some, I can assure you that very few, if any, of the grievers I have met would agree to the myths of bereavement.

Myths of Bereavement

 Everyone’s grief looks the same. This is simply a cruel thing to say! Our grief is our own and nobody has the right to take it from us, or worse, compare it to another’s. Grievers are best left alone. We are social beings and what helps most are family members and friends. To leave people alone in their grief is a cop out. Grief is solely an emotional reaction. How can we explain the physical symptoms that others experience? We have been turned upside down and that can have a huge physical effect on us. People should leave their grief at home. Grief is part of the whole person. It is unlikely that anyone can switch grief on or off to suit a situation. When you are younger you get over the loss sooner. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are – we all grieve in our own way. Other people will know how you feel. We have yet to meet the person that knows how we feel about anything unless, of course, we tell them. Everyone has the same belief system. We must be very careful not to impose our faith and beliefs on another, especially at the time of bereavement. Everyone has to cry. Nobody has to do anything and frankly, what a person does in their time of bereavement belongs to them alone. Grief is something you “get over”. Most people never stop grieving a death; they live with it until the day they die. Grief is a response, not a straight line with an endpoint. Grieving should end after a set amount of time. The downside to eight-week bereavement groups is that at the end they mistakenly expect to be “better”. We grieve for a lifetime, because we are forever learning how to stumble along in this new life - a bit like learning how to walk all over again.