All Blog Postings by Mary
The Power of Focus
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
The power of focus is a tool to help widows listen to their feelings, to be more self-aware and self- accepting. The “focusing process” can help widows move from a stressed filled life to a life that goes from grieving to healing. It will help them become kinder and gentler to themselves, more accepting of their loss and more understanding of their grieving.
The key ability in the focusing process is the ability to be a compassionate listener to your own emotions so that you can come to a better understanding of who you are.
It’s not about changing how you feel, but allowing your feelings to be as they are. Listen to yourself, being open and curious about your emotions.
There is power and meaning in everyone’s story. We all make mistakes, but we are so much more than the worst thing we have ever done. We need to give ourselves as much mercy and grace as we would give others.
Set aside thirty minutes a day to focus. Keep a notebook by your side to record things that come up while you are focusing. Pick a quiet place and comfortable position with loose-fitting clothes. If you start to drift off, open your eyes, stretch and move around a little. Then bring your focus back to your body, taking a few deep, relaxing breaths.
Focusing is about being with your feelings, not being in your feelings. Sit with your feelings, appreciate them as part of who you are. You may be annoyed about feeling frightened, feeling lonely, or anxious about your future. This “feeling about the feeling” becomes real. Rather than trying to ignore it, say hello to it and take time to get to know your feelings.
Important – you are not your feelings. If you are saying “I’m sad”, instead say, “I have something in me that is sad”.
As a widow continues focusing, she becomes more able to reclaim her feelings, her real self and to take new risks while moving forward. There is no major fallout when we express what we want or say no to what we don’t want.
For more information on Focusing go to “The Focusing Institute” by doing a Google search for it.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve