Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
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Do you celebrate your wins at the end of the day or do you feel like you haven’t gotten anything done? That may be because grief causes us to focus on things that are broken.
Grief shows our impatient side as our feelings are confusing to us; up and down, and everyway but upside right. To help tame this journey I encourage widows to celebrate their wins, both individually and with others.
- Treat yourself to a new experience.
- Take someone to lunch.
- Pay a coffee forward at the drive through.
- Purchase something nice for yourself.
- Go out on a hike or a walk in the woods/park.
The key to celebrating your wins is to do is as soon as possible, instant gratification in a harmonic way. Don’t compare your life to others, because that will bring focus on your lack instead of your wins. Instead gratitude ramps up your wins, makes you feel good and surprisingly makes the people in your life respond more positively to you.
Life has two levels of gratitude: grateful today for the wins you currently have and grateful for the wins that are coming your way (think trips or visits with friends). No one lives alone in this world and it’s a proven fact that assisting others uplifts your own wins.
That’s why widows need to realize their own value, and also the worth of every one of their relationships. I have a private Facebook group of over 15,000 members, “The Sisterhood of Widows – Private Group for Widows”. This is where widows emotionally support and encourage each other. There are no men or businesses allowed in this group. Please feel free to do a search in Facebook to learn more about it.
Wins are here – friends to laugh with, co-workers who motivate you, people in your neighbourhood that inspire you. If you have these relationships you should wake up every morning ready to celebrate your wins. Learn from all your experiences: the good, the bad and the embarrassing. Don’t think of them as mistakes, but experiences that have hidden wins you need to seek out.
To be able to celebrate your wins you must learn to love yourself without drama. As you continue to heal, your appreciation of what you still have starts to grow and with that, appreciation aligns with your self-image, self-esteem and self-confidence.
Only then will your thoughts, feelings and actions come together so that you can celebrate your wins.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve
