All Blog Postings by Mary
Sex - The Forbidden Topic
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
- Read her book on Amazon .
- Request to join her private Facebook group for widows .
It doesn’t matter how old we are – sex is the forbidden topic that no one wants to bring it up. Most of us widows are still interested in sex, but are scared of dating and how we will react emotionally.
https://sisterhoodofwidows.com/product/dating-guide-for-widows/
A widow often finds that sex can be a stumbling block when starting another relationship. After years with a spouse our sexual life gets comfortable, and it certainly takes us out of our comfort zone when our spouse is gone. But, our sexual needs are still alive and going strong.
Dating again can be terrifying, especially if it’s been years and believe me when I say that dating isn’t like it was when you were a teenager. Also, we don’t look like a teenager which can make us feel old, unattractive and fearful of the unknown.
Add to all this, we still hear our parents telling us to be “good” girls. At this stage we may even have our grown children giving us the “safe sex” talk. Every widow has her own moral compass and what works for one may not work for another.
There is no magic path to finding that perfect relationship or even that great sex partner. What I do know is that sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith otherwise you may miss that “perfect for you” guy. The best piece of advice I can give you is to be careful, but not fearful. Also, please be watchful that the new relationship isn’t a “rebound” out of loneliness or fear of being alone.
So, what if you have “widow fire” and you don’t want a relationship, just plain good sex is what you need. Now that you’re a widow, what “you” want is what you need to focus on. There are lots of sex toys out there that can take the edge off your “widow fire”. That way you aren’t making poor decisions because of your need for sex.
Lastly, being single is not just okay but may be part of your healing. It allows you time to find your independence so if you do choose to date it’s not just because of your need for sex.
Mary Francis, The Sisterhood of Widows
#thesisterhoodofwidows, #widow, #grief, #griefsupport, #widowsupport, #howtogrieve. #widowshelpingwidows