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Widows with Insomnia
By Mary Francis · Originally published: October 24, 2025
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I believe we all have times when sleep avoids us, but it is an even more serious problem for widows with insomnia. For widows, getting a good nights sleep becomes more difficult as our grief adds to our age and health issues.
Sleep is already hard to get because of menopausal symptoms and drops in estrogen which creates hot flashes and hormone changes. Grief greatly adds to the stress of widows with insomnia.
Tips to Help
- Sleep improves if you can get some exercise between noon and bedtime.
- Avoid caffeine, alcohol and nicotine in the evenings, at least within two hours of bedtime.
- Relax before bedtime by taking a hot bath, drinking a hot smoothing drink or reading a book.
- Keep your bedroom for sleep only. Don’t watch TV, eat or be on your cell phone while in your bedroom. Train your mind to relate your bedroom to sleep time only.
- Over the counter drugs or prescription sleep medications are probably harmless but not advisable for long term use. Long term use can lead your body to a tolerance for the drug so that you gradually need a higher and higher dose.
- Herbal alternatives like 5-HTP, valerian and melatonin for sleep are safe for occasional use. Try to alternate various herbs and take breaks so you don’t develop a need for them.
- If 15 or 20 minutes have passed and you’ll still awake, get out of bed. Go to the living room and quietly relax. Look through a magazine or read a book. Stay off the phone and TV. Also, walking around relaxes muscles and calms the body.
- Keep a notepad on your nightstand and white down your to-do list. This helps to stop them from buzzing around in your brain.
- Relax your mind by taking a “mental stroll” that brings you a sense of peace. Think about your favorite vacation, visit to friends or sequence of your yoga or exercise classes. This gets you out of your own way and onto another mental path.
- Widows and insomnia issues are not always mental related. It’s important to your health to get sleep so see your doctor for a physical checkup.
When you’re tired, every interaction with others may seem harder to handle. Lack of sleep significantly increases symptoms of depression and anxiety levels. Widows with insomnia are slower to react and are less aware of their surroundings.
Grieving is hard enough and widows with insomnia feel less equipped to handle life. It leaves us prone to over reacting in situations, more inclined to feel frustrated, over sensitive and anxious. Please make an appoint to see your doctor and don’t hesitate to ask for some temporary meds to help you get through your grieving so your broken heart can heal.
