If you think someone has a case of depression, it's helpful to know what to look for:
  • Lack of interest in personal appearance. One of the most obvious signs of depression in older adults is when they stop caring about their personal appearance.
  • Increased complaints about aches and pains. Depression can actually amplify physical pain, turning minor irritations into severe discomfort.
  • Social withdrawal. Depressed adults tend to push other people away -- especially those they love the most. If the person you're caring for suddenly starts making excuses not to see you or other family members or friends, it's worth checking into what's really going on.
  • Break the taboo. Depression is a taboo subject  and they may have tough time thinking of it as an actual illness. But the first step toward helping someone who's depressed is letting her know you care about her and support her.
  • Broach the subject carefully. Try asking what's going on. "I've noticed you haven't been sleeping well and you just don't seem like yourself. Are you okay?"   Your tactful, gentle probing may or may not open up the conversation.
  • If she agrees to see the doctor: In the best-case she's agreed to talk to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist about her mood. In the worst case, she doesn't want to hear another word about it. In that case, suggest a checkup with her primary care doctor and she may be more willing to listen to a doctor who urges her to get help.
  • If she refuses: If she refuses to see a doctor, there's not a whole lot you can do. You can't force the issue unless she's psychotic or suicidal, or her depression has progressed to the point where she can no longer take care of herself.
  • Provide reassurance. People are often anxious about taking antidepressants, either because of the stigma they associate with such medications or because they're afraid of potential side effects. Assure her that the doctor can work with her to find the medication that's most effective with the least-severe side effects.
  • Help her stay as physically active as possible.
  • Structure the day around activities that give her pleasure and a sense of purpose.
In the end, it's really the responsibility of the person suffering from depression to get help for herself. If she won't talk to her doctor or comply with treatment, you can't make her do it.