All Blog Postings by Mary
Life Comparisons By Widows
By Mary Francis · Originally published: October 8, 2020
Archive notice: This is a historical post from Mary’s years of blogging. Some older posts may mention products, courses or shop items that are no longer available, as Mary now focuses her time and energy on supporting widows inside her private Facebook community. The guidance and stories remain here as a free resource for widows.
For current ways to connect with Mary’s work, you can:
I know, life falls short after our husband’s death. We’ve all felt it, that pang of envy when you see couples out together. Feelings of sadness after “liking” all of our friend’s couple vacation photos on Facebook.
Widows are more likely to be critical and have lower self-esteem when comparing themselves to others. This unhealthy pattern took root when we were young girls looking for validation. Our self-worth becomes tied to how we feel compared to others and this leads to feelings of unworthiness.
To protect yourself against feelings of lacking, list five things every morning that you are grateful for. Now when you see images that prompt comparisons of “they have more than I do”, you’re more grounded in your truth of what you do have.
If they have taken a trip you wish to go on, then take some steps planning for that trip. Research the area, price out places to stay and open a special account just for travel. Use it as motivation to prevent further comparisons.
Social media shows things only in the best possible fashion and so we often feel that their life is perfect while our life isn’t. Of course that’s not true, as most of us use our feed to show our best side.
By acknowledging that Facebook isn’t showing all that is real, you will break free from comparing yourself to others. No one lives a life free of pain, differences of opinions, or losses – No One!!