Some widows find it nearly impossible to go on living in their home without their husbands. But they are paralyzed by the idea of moving, of leaving everything that's familiar at a time when they are completely unbalanced.
My own experience is that it usually takes a couple of years to feel settled enough to tackle another major change. The first year we widows often walk around stunned, angry and sad wondering what we did to bring this on. Later on we emerge from this fog and begin to get ready to make more changes. Our perception changes from being a victim to something we are in charge of – even though we may still be confused about what we want.
The starting point of any emotional life decision is to get very, very quiet and ask yourself this simple question: What do I want? Then listen to your thoughts without judging them. Trust in your inner desires and don't get confused by fear and worry.
If you do decided to move bring only what you use and love. If you're feeling stuck about what you want, find a friend who can really, really listen and not jump in with their opinions. Inventory and tag, room by room, what you want to keep, sell, store and give away.
1. Get some help with the move.
2. Get three estimates from moving companies.
3. Arrange for change of address and utilities.
4. Carry and transport valuables yourself.
5. Number each box and piece of furniture.
6. Make an inventory list to give to the movers.
7. Prepare a "first to unpack box" for first sleep over.
Moving doesn't have to mean buying another place. It may give you time to gain a sense of balance if you rent for a year. Renting can provide a stepping stone into your new life, a chance to build a new life on your own terms.
It's hard to understand as a new widow but your not moving into a lesser life. You're moving into a different life than planned, but it's still your life to live on your terms.