Right after our husband’s death we may have a strong urge to get into our car and run away. Are you a run away widow? Running from making all the decisions, from all your fears and responsibilities. Fantasy of this kind of freedom may be over, but don’t be surprised when you get an occasional overwhelming desire to be a run away widow, running from your life as a widow.
It’s natural for a widow to want to run away from her pain and grief. Are you yearning for a fresh start but not quite sure where to begin? First, recognize the tension you are feeling, do some deep breathing while telling yourself it’s going to be okay.
There is no bigger reason for the shift you want to take, than the loss of your loved one. Ask yourself what you want to gain from running away? Do you have a plan? Is it even possible?
Are you doubting yourself? Replace your doubts with this simple truth – You Are Capable. Look back at all the times you have made changes for your mental and physical health. You don’t have to be a run away widow to make changes. However, it helps to have support, getting together with like-minded folks or calling loved ones to talk about your plans.
It’s natural to face obstacles as old patterns and habits change. Reward yourself along the way so that your focus is on the good and not on the setbacks. Remind yourself that to feel lost is normal and we need to accept our feelings, as it helps us gain perspective.
Consider journaling about what you did get through, how you faced challenges and proved that you have the resilience needed. Celebrate the fact that you didn’t run away, then look at what you have learned. You are likely too hard on yourself as we have to go through setbacks as we mental grow strong.
It’s helpful to seek out positive and motivating books, movies and people. To know how others have overcome setbacks can inspire you to do the same. The most resilient widows are those that have learned how to remain optimistic, even while healing their broken hearts. Take some time to go through my free “Grief Resources” page on my website https://sisterhoodofwidows.com/grief-resources/
Do you know widows who have never experienced any setbacks? Widows who have run away, who have given up? Celebrate the fact that you are trying and take note of what you are learning.
To Our Shared Journey,
Mary Francis is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®, Certified Law of Attraction Facilitator, Early Intervention Field Traumatology (EIFT) and Author/Founder of “The Sisterhood of Widows”
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